The ability to light up a screen is not the exclusive province of A-List, big-box-office mega-stars. Some actors have learned to wield that quality with understated strength and subtlety—and parlayed that power into long, distinguished entertainment careers. If you’re wondering why Elizabeth Perkins is so relentlessly good in everything she does, you may have just answered your own question. For three-plus decades she has turned in luminous performances in heart-tugging dramas and smart comedies that include About Last Night, Big, Avalon, The Doctor, He Said She Said, The Ring Two, 28 Days and Must Love Dogs—as well as unforgettable TV series like Weeds, Sharp Objects, How to Live with Your Parents and Truth Be Told. She also played Nemo’s mom in Finding Nemo. Perkins has inhabited screen characters that run the gamut from dark to daring to devilishly funny. But as she tells Gerry Strauss, in her current FOX series, The Moodys, she is playing a version of someone fans have never seen before: herself.

EDGE: In the FOX series The Moodys, you play Ann Moody, an alcohol counselor. There’s a personal story behind that.

EP: I asked them to let my character go back to school and become a counselor because of what my mother had done. She was a pianist and then she became an alcohol rehabilitation counselor. She had played in a series of bars and was in that scene, became a full-blown alcoholic throughout most of my childhood, and then got sober when I was 18 or 19 years old. She completely turned her life around, went back to school, got her degree and became a counselor. Sobriety has been a big part of my life, and so is recognizing that and honoring that in people and in my family, and in myself. It was a real inspiration for my character on this show for that very reason.

EDGE: Your mom was an entertainer at heart. Did that influence you early on?

EP: Oh, 100 percent. My mother used to play the piano and I would stand next to her and sing. She always encouraged me to do the things that she couldn’t—or wouldn’t, or didn’t—and was really an impetus for me to get on stage. She introduced me to local theater in our small town in Massachusetts and was always my inspiration. She would say to me, “I wish that I had done that when I was your age.” Because she was a natural performer…and the funniest person I’ve ever known in my life. She was sarcastic and raucous and bawdy. She was just no-holds-barred, with a great deal of confidence. I think that my sense of humor comes directly from her mouth. For sure.

EDGE: You began your career as a stage actress, correct?

EP: Oh, absolutely. I went to drama school in Chicago at the Goodman School of Drama, which now has been incorporated into DePaul University. But when I went there, it was a conservatory, and I think we had a graduating class of 12 people. When you’re in that kind of training program, specifically back then, they weren’t training you for television and film. We didn’t have on-camera classes or how-to TV audition classes. It was primarily performing on the stage. I had really not thought about film and television. When you come from a conservatory mindset like that, it’s all about the theater. I was lucky enough—and I’ll use that word lucky, because luck does play a huge part in any actor’s life—to be seen. I went to New York solely to do theater and was cast on Broadway. That was 100 percent luck and being at the right place at the right time. I was proud of myself working on Broadway, being young in my twenties, in New York.

EDGE: Then came About Last Night (above), with Rob Lowe, Demi Moore and Jim Belushi…

EP: Again, I just lucked into that first film audition, which I think it was 1985. It had never occurred to me to do film and television, and I was perfectly fine without it. I just fell into it. When I did About Last Night, I’d never been in front of a camera before. I’d never done a commercial or a day part. I’d never even done a student film before, so I sort of faked my way through it. I remember arriving on the set and they were using terms that I’d never heard: your mark, the POV, the cheap shot, over-the-shoulder. I just was like, “I’m going to just fake it till I make it.”

EDGE: And you did. You were listed as one of the “12 Most Promising New Actors of 1986” in Screen World, which was a huge deal back in the pre-Internet and pre-IMDB days. Did you feel some pressure at that point to keep the momentum going?

EP: I felt a little overwhelmed. The film got a lot of attention and the way I looked at it was like, “Well, that’s intense.” But it resulted in me getting more work. I had been living in New York in my twenties and everything was expensive, and I wasn’t making any money. It just translated into, “Oh, I can buy my mom a car!” That’s when I started buying my mom her cars, and I bought her a new car like every five years for the rest of my life, until she passed away a few years ago. Then I remember thinking, “I can buy my mom a house…I can do all these things. I can now help take care of my mom the way she always took care of me.” So it was a blessing. I was 26, but I think I had a pretty good head on my shoulders about it, and I knew these things come and go so quickly. It’s like that great line in Notting Hill: “Today’s newspapers are going to line tomorrow’s canary cage.”

EDGE: Not everyone in that situation would respond that way.

EP: If you’re in it for a certain amount of notoriety, yeah, that could sway how you respond to that attention. A lot of actors who think, Oh, I’m the hottest thing right now—and they actually think that’s going to last—just aren’t really living in reality. Hype is so fleeting, and all you can really do is focus on the work. I’m from a really small town in Western Massachusetts, so all of this was just great [laughs]. I’ll take whatever I can get! I remember when I was making The Flintstones with Rosie O’Donnell, she was hanging out with Madonna at the time and she said, “You could just be so much more famous than you are. You should come out with me and Madonna… you could be super famous. Your career could be so much better than it is right now.” And I remember thinking to myself, I like my career right now. [laughs] I work all the time, but I’m not one of those people who’s surrounded by paparazzi. I work with great people. I make good money. I’ve got four children. I support myself. I’ve supported my parents. Yeah, I guess you could be wanting to be in that level of superstardom…or you can just be really grateful for what’s in front of you. I think that’s sustained me. I’ve been doing this for over 35 years, and I’m good.

EDGE: One of your earliest film roles was opposite Tom Hanks in Big. In 1988, it was an innocent family-friendly fantasy film. Do you think the relationship between your adult character and Josh, who was still a 12-year-old boy, would be done the same way?

EP: Oh, I get questions about this all the time, because we have sex in the movie. He kisses me and touches my breasts, and it was a whole thing. Yeah…we wouldn’t shoot that movie like that today, 100 percent. I’m not sure I feel strange about it in hindsight. That scene was primarily to set up the joke of the next day at the office, when the elevator opens and he walks out like, Oh, I’m a completely changed human being. It in no way indicated any kind of untoward, Oh, she’s having sex with a minor. Based on how we have grown for the good as a society, that scene would probably not be acceptable, period, so I own that. And I’m sure Penny [Marshall, who directed the film], before she passed, would own that as well.

EDGE: Do you view the heightened sensitivity towards entertainment as being a change for the better?

EP: I think when change happens, societal change happens. It goes to the extremes in many different directions and then eventually it finds its home. The change that’s going on now is very necessary, but I do think we’re all still finding our footing there. In terms of certain norms that have gone on for decades, it’s a hard change for everyone, particularly people who’ve been writing or directing or creating for years. But it’s a necessary one. My daughter works in development at the Geena Davis Institute for Gender in Media and she’s my touchstone for all of it. I’m 60 years old. I’ve been doing this since I was in my early 20s. And every time I have a question, I call her and I say, “What do you think about this?” It’s all a big change for me, too. I really applaud my daughter, because she’s at the forefront of working for an institute that is dedicated to equality and inclusivity and diversity. And it’s really needed, and it’s overdue at this point.

EDGE: Is comedy something that you’ve always enjoyed digging into, or was it more of an acquired passion?

EP: Oh, I adore doing comedy. If I could do comedy all the time, I would really be in a sweet spot. Sometimes I feel like I’m always given the job I need at the moment I need it. Prior to doing The Moodys with Denis Leary, I had done all these really dark things. I did a show called Sharp Objects with Amy Adams and Patricia Clarkson. That was so dark. Then I did a show with Aaron Paul and Octavia Spencer that was just Nazis and prison and racism. And then Trump was in office and the pandemic hit, and I’m doing comedy. If you just stay in these dark pieces, you bring it home with you. I do, anyway. So I just feel blessed that I’m making a comedy in the middle of all of this stuff. I’m like, “Okay, universe, you’re giving me exactly what I need.” [laughs]. It’s great to wake up in the morning and know that you’re going to go to work and laugh—I’m so blessed to be working with Denis and Jay Baruchel, who plays our oldest son. Jay is just wicked good. He’s incredible. We’re having such a good time that none of us wants to leave.

EDGE: What specifically hooked you into The Moodys?

EP: Denis Leary. Denis and I grew up about 30 miles away from each other. Chelsea Frei, who plays our daughter, grew up another 30 miles away, and Jay Baruchel is from Montreal, which is like four hours away. So all of us really have this same sort of—I’ll use the word “wicked” because that’s New England lingo— sense of humor, and we’re all from working-class families. So, when the creators sent it to me, they said, “There’s not a lot on the page right now, but we’d love you to do this.” And I said, “Well, can I make her like me?” And they were like, “Yeah.” So they were gracious enough to let me infuse my own life into it. I feel like this is the first time that I’ve created someone who’s really based on me, a woman with older children who are still in and around the house, who’s trying to reinvent herself all the time—which happens when you go from being a mother to being an empty nester. I was able to infuse parts of my mom into it, and so it was the first time I’ve been able to have open season on a character that the creators really allowed me to make my own. At my age, it was really a little gift for me. I took it and ran with it, and I’m having a ball.

EDGE: Would the prospect of creating your own character have frightened you earlier in your career?

EP: Oh, yeah. But everything is scarier when you’re younger.

EDGE: Why does it work so well now?

EP: When you get to be a certain age, you don’t care what people think anymore. You just don’t. You’ve been around for long enough to just say, “I am who I am, and I’m proud of who I am.” I love these parts of myself, and I want to share them because I think I’m really great. I do. I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. I just feel like I’ve been given so many gifts. And now I’m getting to play a really great part of myself. A lot of people don’t get an opportunity like that, so I adore my creators and Denis for bringing me along on this. They’re allowing me to be nutty and obsessive and fun—a woman who maybe has too many glasses of wine, or maybe overdecorates the house at Christmas, who might be a little bit cloying at times when it comes to her children. These are all real facets of me.

New ideas keep one of the nation’s oldest nursing schools on the cutting edge.

By Diane Alter

Every nurse has a story about the path he or she chooses. Most insist that nursing is not simply a career, but a calling. That calling may not come from an audible voice or divine sign from above.

Masters degrees. They come from myriad cultural backgrounds and from different parts of the region. But they all come for the same reason: to make a difference.

Not surprisingly, they follow the lead of the school’s Dean, Mary E. Kelley.
“I always knew I wanted to be a nurse,” she says. “There was never any question what I would do.”

Kelley not only embodies what it means to devote yourself to the profession, but where the profession can take you in a relatively short amount of time. Just eight years after graduating from Boston College School of Nursing—ready to dedicate herself to “devoted service for human welfare”—Kelley was named Dean of the Trinitas School of Nursing. “Things were different back then,” Kelley says, downplaying the accomplishment. “Yes, I was young. But I was ready for the responsibility.”

The Trinitas School of Nursing first opened its doors in 1891 as Elizabeth General Hospital and Dispensary School of Nursing. It went by several names over the ensuing years, before taking its current name in 2000 when Elizabeth General Medical Center and St. Elizabeth’s Hospital consolidated to form Trinitas Regional Medical Center. The school was accredited by the National League for Nursing in 1959 and, in 1971, formed a Cooperative Nursing Program with Union County College. This enables students to receive an Associate in Science along with the Diploma in Nursing. At this time, the school made a commitment to serve educationally disadvantaged students, non-traditional nursing candidates, and those looking to switch careers.

By the mid 1970’s, the school had opened the country’s first full-time evening division in a diploma program, enrolling many students who previously would not have been able to pursue nursing. The school launched an innovative weekend division in 1987. It was the first of its kind in the region and one of the first in the country. Students pursuing a career in nursing could now do so while maintaining full-time employment and seeing to the needs of their families during the week. The inaugural weekend class achieved an astounding 100% National Council Licensure Examination-RN passage rate. Since 1990, the school’s overall passage rate has averaged 97 percent.

“Our open access philosophy and our flexible day, night, weekend, part- and full-time classes enable many aspiring nursing students to realize their dream,” Kelley says proudly.

How does an old school stay current? With pioneering instruction. The Trinitas School of Nursing is one of the first in the country to integrate simulation technology into its curriculum. Its Learning/Simulation Center is equipped with state-of-the art equipment, which enables students to log critical hands-on experience. “We use patient simulators and program them with specific ailments,” Kelley explains. “One might be having a heart attack or appendicitis—we can even program a simulator to give birth. These lifelike kinds of situations provide invaluable experience, promote active learning and steer students toward their professional role as safe and capable nurses.”

In 2007, the school became the first in the U.S. at which every eligible faculty member had earned a Certified Nurse Educator credential from the National League for Nursing. In 2008, the League officially recognized the School of Nursing as a Center of Excellence in Nursing Education—the first school in the Garden State (and the first Cooperative Nursing Program in the country) to receive such recognition. Re-designation must be earned every three years through an arduous re-application process. In 2011, the school was awarded re-designation, confirming its high standards and consistent excellence. Kelley herself was recognized in 2011 when she was awarded the Unity Achievement Award from the Union County Human Relations Commission for her extra-ordinary contributions to the promotion of respect for human rights, human dignity and cultural diversity in Union County.

“The school’s success is not about me,” she is quick to point out. “It’s about a team of people with the same vision, goals and objectives. I definitely didn’t do this alone. I have a great staff. That’s how I get things done. I don’t take or want any credit. I couldn’t have gotten anything done by myself.”

Editor’s Note: Tough though it may be, nursing continues to grow in popularity as a career choice. Trinitas’s January 2013 class of 96 graduates (85 women and 11 men) was its largest ever. Anastasia Filonova, Jane Mone and Romina Tara received High Nursing Honors. For more information on Trinitas School of Nursing visit www.TrinitasSchoolofNursing.org or call (908) 659-5200.

As a loved one approaches a time when mental problems appear to be imminent, there is no real roadmap for how to prepare for that change. The person you once knew may not be there much longer. Roles suddenly have to be reversed—the person who once took care of you becomes the one in need of care. Do you send that parent or grandparent to a living facility? Do you rely on emergency room visits? Or do you play it by ear and shoulder the responsibility of potential round-the-clock care yourself?

There is no “right answer” to any of these questions. However, now there is an encouraging alternative when it comes to treating seniors suffering from mental deficiencies. The government-funded Statewide Clinical Outreach Program for the Elderly (aka S-COPE) provides a mental health outreach team that ensures crisis response and clinical follow-up to senior citizens aged 55 and up. According to Deborah L. Humphreys, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Elizabeth, the program gives nursing homes and other care centers a go-to resource before simply dropping the elderly off at emergency rooms.

The idea actually was first proposed by Trinitas Regional Medical Center in 2012, when Governor Christie’s administration was looking for a way to accomplish its goal of expanding community care programs across New Jersey. The proposal built off of the SCCAT (Statewide Clinical Consultation and Training) program, which brought care to adults with developmental disabilities. The Department of Behavioral Health and Psychiatry of Trinitas now manages the S-COPE program.

“S-COPE is a program that fills an important need in the local communities,” Humphreys explains. “The staff offers a great mix of education, care, and advocacy that improves the lives of seniors, as well as family and caregivers. It is the consultation and training that we highly value in helping us to meet the needs of seniors, as well as fulfilling the highest standards of care with expertise, dedication, creativity, and common sense.”

As Trinitas behavioral health professionals observed that people who took care of senior citizens with mental issues relied too much on ER drop-offs, they wanted to bring about a different choice for those with special needs.

S- COPE brings the care to the patients themselves and provides hands-on care to the afflicted. After obtaining approval from the Department of Human Services, Trinitas received $1.3 million in grants and was able to successfully move forward with the program. In S-COPE’s short history, this outreach program has been able to:
• Become fully operational in all 21 counties of New Jersey
• Helped four Facilities establish Behavior Response Teams
• Received 545 referrals from nursing facilities, screening centers, and in-patient units
• Provided more than 2,157 face-to-face and phone interventions in response to crisis situations
• Conducted more than 70 training sessions to facilities, seven regional trainings, and one annual conference to educate people on
S- COPE

A year has passed since S-COPE was created. By any measure, the program has been a triumph. The program continues to expand, and patients and care providers have given Trinitas a major thumbs-up for its commitment to making it work. Toni Loyas, for one, has nothing but great things to say about the program.

“My experience with S-COPE has been nothing but positive,” says the COO of Lincoln Park Care Center, a 24-hour skilled nursing care facility. “They have been extremely responsive. Training in behavioral techniques, dementia and severe persistent mental illness for older adults has been outstanding. They are very involved in helping our residents remain in their home. I would recommend this team to any facility.”

Though the S-COPE program represents important progress in a growing area of concern, there is still work to be done to fully understand mental illness, and responding to the needs of seniors suffering from dementia. Trinitas is compiling research from all of its findings to further fine-tune its methodology and training. One area of promise is increasing the presence of technology in the form of video conferencing with patients in order to bring immediate attention to those in need. Training has already begun at facilities all over New Jersey.

Editor’s Note: The first annual S-COPE Conference took place in March 2013. For more information on the S-COPE program, call 908-272-3606.

Old School Toys with an EDGE

By Christine Gibbs

IT’S A GAS

That odor coming from the basement could be the sweet smell of an MIT scholarship… if your kids are playing with the classic Chem C3000 Experiment Kit. Available at thamesandkosmos.com.

BLOCK PARTY

It’s elementary: building a better brain starts early with handmade Periodic Table Blocks. Available at uncommongoods.com.

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

The ballplayer in your family will love the hand-rubbed and broken-in   Shoeless Joe 1910 Fielder’s Glove.   Available at handmadebaseballgloves.com.

TURN THE BEAT AROUND

You can relive the disco era without all the polyester thanks to the Desktop Disco Ball, which is illuminated with a quartet of powerful LEDs.   Available at scientificsonline.com.

DESK JOB

Go ahead and stick a tiny piece of gum under this painstakingly accurate miniature replica Shaker School Desk. Available at shakerworkswest.com.

4GB IS THE NEW 33 RPM

Break out the old LPs and the new laptop and let them play together with the retro-style USB Record Player.   Available at urbanoutfitters.com.

HOT STUFF

Super-size your mind excursion with the 250-ounce LAVA brand lamp. Available at lampsplus.com.

HEAVY METAL

Nothing brings out the timeless beauty of a backyard paradise like a Retro Metal Garden Chair. Available at doitbest.com.

LAID BACK

The  Nicole Ergonomic Recliner from Lafer of Brazil launches the 1940s-era Barcalounger firmly into the future. Available at leifpetersenfurniture.com.

I’LL HAVE 3.14159 SLICES PLEASE

Now your kids can simultaneously develop their slicing and geometry skills—as well as a sense of irony—thanks to the Pizza Pi Cutter. Available at coolstuffexpress.com.

In the realm of wines & spirits,  Old School has a definition all its own.

By Andrea Clurfeld

The bottle stood before me, 3000ml emptied, the memories of a classic night with classy friends still percolating at full tilt. The evening technically had started a couple months before, with the acquisition of that XXL-size bottle of the 2010 Pepiere Muscadet Clisson. Once procured, I began thinking about what I would do with a bottle holding 20 glasses of one of the world’s finest-ever Muscadets. To be honest, the thoughts came quickly. Oysters, lots and lots of oysters. People on board who would appreciate the partnership of oysters and the wine born to drink with them. Simple. And it was—because something that resolutely traditional can be trusted without the need of flourish or frill.

It’s old school, and you don’t muck with old school.

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

COMFORTABLE & COMPELLING

Old school is indeed where reliable meets riveting. It’s the intersection of something at once comfortable and compelling. It’s always that way, that very same way. When I think about “old school” wines, I don’t think of the big guns of, say, California cabernet and Rioja in Spain, or first-growth Bordeaux, but of the umpteenth generation of a family grape farm in a back-roads part of France or Italy. I don’t think of state-of-the-art wine-tasting rooms, but of a woman in the dusky cellar of a small vineyard in the southern Rhone Valley shrugging when asked the stupidest tourist question of all time (“What’s your favorite wine?”) and responding politely (“That depends on what I’m eating.”)

I think of a Riesling from Ostertag in Alsace, France, when I’m craving Asian. A Prosecco from Italy’s peerless Bisson when a little something needs celebrating. A murky Malbec from Cahors in the way south of France when I’m headed for a supper of a meaty stew. They’re my classics, my go-to’s, my versions of old-school wines.

The Clisson falls into that category. I could frolic through descriptions of this particular wine from Pepiere, made by the masterful and grape-respectful Marc Ollivier in the southern part of the Muscadet appellation of the Loire Valley in France. (OK, I can’t resist: It’s ripe, and considerably richer, than its Loire peers in citrus fruit, fruit that darn near takes on a honeyed quality. Yet it manages to be crisp and sharp and mineral-strong, a study in balance.) But, truly, like my favorite Ostertags—like my other personally anointed classics—it’s most significantly about heritage, a purist master, M. Ollivier,  plucking grapes for his Clissons from vines ranging from 60 years old to 90 years old and following only traditional farming and vinification methods start to finish. Nothing in the lineage quits, not grape, not method, not winemaker.

COCKTAIL HOUR

If you’re a cocktail maven, you may feel the same way I do about your drink of choice. You’re not particularly impressed with the try-anything-every-way current cocktail-crafting school of thought. There’s something rather unassailable about a perfectly made Manhattan that needs only the best ingredients and a barkeep who understands proportion, balance.

That’s not to dismiss the rage for cocktails concocted of the most meticulously made spirits, cooled as appropriate only by solid-block ice, and garnished with accents both organic and obscure. They’re admirable and often delicious. They’re just not old school. That old school is embodied by something the Father of American Gastronomy himself, James Beard, who advised in his seminal James Beard’s Menus for Entertaining (recounted in the more recent A History of Food in 100 Recipes by William Sitwell) that a “large cocktail crush for 40” start about 6 or 7 o’clock, proceed to 8:30 or 9, and include both “enough food so people do not need to go to dinner,” a “full bar,” “some champagne” and “white wine with cassis.”

“A small elegant cocktail party for 10,” to be given in honor of a “friend who loves the elegant things in life or a visiting mogul,” would sport nothing less than chilled champagne and vodka meant to accompany “caviar, smoked salmon, foie gras.” The epitome of old school, heh?

Or perhaps something in between? Say for 20 or 30? Go with hearty fare, advises Beard the party bard, served astride a variety of drinks, plus “beer, champagne and chilled dry sherry.”

SHERRY?

Yes, sherry. Now that’s an old school fundamental hardly reserved for female detectives of advanced age (and experience) conjured by Agatha Christie. Sherry isn’t just for sweetening a pot of stewing mushrooms or spiking soup, but most apropos as a segue from day to evening and/or from dinner to a little night reading. I’ve long admired the line from Lustau and the way Spaniards serve an impressive range of dry sherries with an equally impressive range of jamon, the cured porks of Spain.

Feeling inspired to go old school? You don’t have to invest in a mint’s worth of single-malt Scotches. (Though checking out some small-batch Bourbons with proper pedigrees will add to your education.) You can ponder life’s most serious questions over a spot of Port (the value-priced Fonseca Bin 27 will do, and nicely) or toast the night to come with a Bordeaux wine glass filled with Lillet on the rocks, served with a twist of orange peel or a squirt of fresh lime juice. The aperitif from western France charms with its mysterious mix of wine, fruit and herbs—and it is mysterious, since the folks at Lillet long have refused to divulge the recipe. You can plow through Sitwell’s 1,000-page tome fortified by one of those acquired-taste spirits, Campari, Pernod or Aperol. You can even make a martini, as long as you follow the rules of cocktail crafting set down in the Jazz Age.

Or you can do as I did, and track down a super-size bottle of a wine for the ages—a classic such as the Clisson that allows you to pour freely for your very best friends. Because, after all, Old School imbibing means effort happens behind the scenes so the entertaining is easy.

Editor’s Note: Andy Clurfeld is a former editor of Zagat New Jersey. The longtime food critic for the Asbury Park Press also has been published in Gourmet, Saveur and Town & Country, and on epicurious.com. Her post-Sandy stories for NBCNewYork.com rank among the finest media reporting on the superstorm’s aftermath and recovery.

What you don’t see on TV can hurt you.

By Chris Myer

I would love to tell you there is a science to buying storage units. But I would be lying. I would love to tell you that it is easy money. The truth is it’s hard work. I have been buying at storage auctions for the past 12 years and averaging three a week. The storage biz colorfully augments the more predictable means of buying merchandise (estates, regular auctions, and house calls) for my retail store. For every ten units I see I might be tempted to bid on one. Sometimes I win it and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I walk away with treasure. Sometimes I haul away trash. On most days it’s a combination of both.

Most lockers look bad when the lock comes off and the door goes up. However, every once in a while I see a unit with some antiques or at least a little character. When you see a unit on TV being viewed, you can’t really judge it. You can only “read it”—to the extent you can read it—in person.

The fact is that anything is liable to come out of a storage locker. Basically, though, what you find is boring “Made in China” junk. Despite what you see on the TV shows, there’s not much glamour to this business…and plenty of pitfalls. Abandoned storage units, or rather their contents, are a reflection of our consumer-driven society. When you have seen what I have seen, you realize we are binging on trash: cheap furniture, cheap decorations, cheap household goods, cheap everything. If people could comprehend the sheer volume of poorly made, mostly imported junk, they would be appalled.

My wife, Rose, and I own an antique center that also sells used items that are valuable or interesting (some not necessarily antique). My primary focus at auctions is the unit that may have older items, or things of good quality. When I see clues that tell me a room may have collectibles or other items of interest, I’ll get in on the bidding. However, there are no guarantees. Often a room that looks promising just doesn’t pan out. Over time, you do develop a feel and a set of rules that give you a slight edge.

THE BIG SCORE

I’ve had some great finds, of course. The best was probably three units that belonged to a New York City ephemera dealer. I went in with a partner (sales are cash-only so it is not usual for bidders to join forces to buy an expensive unit). We could see it looked interesting, but couldn’t see beyond the plastic tubs and boxes. Well, it turned out to be a treasure trove. We sold just the postcard collection immediately and made three times our cost. It turns out this person was a very advanced collector and dealer. He had great stuff. The thing you want to find—and what shows up with some regularity—is a locker containing jewelry or coins. And, of course, cash  is always good. I’ve only found a couple of hundred dollars in a locker, but I know instances where several thousand have been discovered in storage.

Back in July, I bought a small, scruffy room that didn’t look like much, but I saw an oriental rug so I bid on it and won. In the back there were some boxes of collectibles—coins, a little jewelry, military items, fountain pens. Back in my office, I was looking through these boxes and there was an odd-looking pen. I played with it a bit to get it open and when I clicked the cap it went BANG. It was a pen gun, like something out of a James Bond movie! Luckily, there was no projectile, but I got a powder burn on my finger. I’m lucky I wasn’t pointing it at my face.

There is actually a lot of danger in storage units. You get more cuts, abrasions and things falling on you than you can imagine. There can be something really heavy stacked high that can drop on your head. Hazardous materials can turn up, too, and you need to know how to properly deal with them.

GETTING PERSONAL

As a buyer of storage units, I try to look past the fact that this is someone’s life packed into a 10-by-10 space. It’s not easy. Many times, we’ll see a person pay his bill just before the auction begins. And yes, people who owe a lot of money on a room sometimes show up and try to buy it for less than they owe. Most facilities won’t allow them on the premises, but there isn’t anything to stop them from sending in a proxy to do their bidding. I like to steer clear of units where I sense that the owner still wants it or needs something out of it. I much prefer to bid on rooms that have clearly been abandoned. And anything that looks like an item of personal value or significance, I will box up and leave with the manager.

By the way, the personal stuff can be extremely personal. It’s a voyeur’s dream. Each unit truly is a person’s life. There are typically boxes of bills and papers, diplomas, photos, very often wills, gift cards. I can’t count the number of photo albums that were meticulously assembled and cared for, only to be abandoned. I also can’t count the numbers of strange and alarming things I’ve uncovered. Name America’s weirdest fetishes and insecurities and you’ll find them in storage units. This is not a business for people with weak stomachs, but it is fascinating. What do I find in almost every unit I buy? Self-improvement books. Religious items. And pornography. And way more often than you’d guess, I find all three!

COLD SWEAT

Is there a locker I got so badly burned on that I still wake up in a cold sweat thinking about it? Yes, but it’s not the money that makes a locker a bust, it’s the work. If you make a mistake and blow a thousand bucks on a small room, you’ll make some of that money back and then move on. But if you blow that thousand on a big, bulky room where it takes a week of moving and packing and multiple trips to the dump, it’s a truly miserable task. That’s actually what drives most people out of this business. They don’t realize the logistics can be very difficult. And no matter how much stuff you think is in a room, there’s always a lot more once you start going through it. Much more. It’s as if it grows.

BUYERS BEWARE

Who shows up at storage auctions? Most of the people who buy lockers for a living are doing flea markets. Darrell on Storage Wars is a good example. He does the big outdoor swap meets in California. Others, like Jarrod and Brandi, are buying for thrift shops. A lot of people at auctions, you get the sense they’re just goofing around, like Barry and those two twins on Storage Wars. I actually prefer New York Storage Wars because it’s a little more realistic. I’ve been on that show—I was relegated to an under-bidder’s role. They pick out the lockers they want to film, they shoot the bidding as it happens, and then they “re-shoot” it so they can do cutaway shots of different bidders.

Needless to say, the storage-auction TV shows have spawned a whole group of newbies who turn up at sales and throw money around. Most come and go. They try it for a while and are driven out by the more hardcore buyers who better understand the complexities of the business. What newcomers discover very quickly is that there are no shortcuts. Plus, many only have a couple thousand bucks to play with—if they buy a unit where they can’t get the money back quickly, they’re essentially out of business.

People watch these shows and think, Maybe I’ll buy a few lockers, see what I get and then decide if this is a business I want to be in. That would be very tough. You’re going to end up with tons of clothing and household items, pots and pans and such, so the likelihood is that the business you’d start would be a flea market business. Is that a business you want to jump into because you saw a show on television? When I get these things in a locker, I channel them to the flea market dealers. In return, maybe down the road they’ll help me clean out a tough room. Not to disparage the flea market guys. You can grind out some decent money setting up at flea markets if you are really committed. But that’s not my thing.

If you do decide to get into the storage locker business, I think I can offer some guidelines without divulging any deep, dark secrets. Stay away from rooms with a lot of plastic toys and tubs with Christmas and Halloween decorations. As particular as I try to be, I’m not infallible. I still end up with gobs of this stuff. For obvious reasons, you should look for sales in wealthier areas. However, you don’t want to travel too far, because if you have to make multiple trips to move the items, your profit disappears with the time and money that you waste.

I try to get a vibration from what I can see in a locker. I look for clues that actually help me picture the person who rented it, and that in turn helps me guess at what’s hidden inside. All of this should be common sense. If you’re looking for an edge, it’s going to come from limiting your mistakes and understanding how to sell what you buy—not any brilliant secret strategy.

The distinct edge that I have is that I’ve developed a network of people that enables me to move merchandise that is not appropriate for the antique center. So if something specific is exposed when the door goes up on a unit, I will recognize its value and know how to turn it over. Another edge I have is that I am known as the guy who buys antiques and collectible items. So if a flea market dealer buys a unit and finds high-end merchandise, he will often call me and I end up buying it from him. So, in a sense, I am able to “cover” a lot of sales without having to physically be there. Also, I should mention that, because I buy a good deal of merchandise from these storage auctions, we are able to pass on some pretty amazing savings to our customers at the store, not just on antiques and collectibles, but also quality dressers, coffee tables, garden urns, stemware, china, and so on.

The people who make the best use of storage lockers are those who run businesses out of them. Contractors, electricians, trades-people—they actually make those units pay. The people who should not be using storage units are the ones who put all of their family items in there and then pack them so tight that they can never actually get at them without unpacking everything. They become stymied. They have to keep paying on a unit that is essentially useless. Again and again, I see units where people have been using the first foot or two, and never touched 95 percent of their stuff because they could no longer get in there.

I honestly believe that most people who store stuff shouldn’t be storing it. They should get rid of it one way or another. Donate it. Repurpose it. Throw it away. Otherwise they will pay many times what the contents are worth and derive no benefit. A lot of units with a value of a few hundred dollars have been there for five or six years, meaning the owners have paid thousands and thousands of dollars. Finally, they just gave up.

Editor’s Note: Chris Myer and his wife, Rose, own and operate the Shore Antique Center in Allenhurst with help from their son, Stephen James.

“The entrées are unquestionably the stars at the Black Horse.”

By Michelle Ali and Nicholas Brooks

The Black Horse Tavern & Pub

1 West Main Street • Mendham NJ • 07945
973.543.7300 • BlackHorseNJ.com

The tavern is open for dinner Tuesday through Sunday. The restaurant features an extensive wine list, a popular prix fixe menu on Tuesdays from 5:00 to 7:00, and two rooms for private parties that can accommodate up to 125 people.

Mention the idea of “Old School Dining” to a New Jersey foodie and you may not elicit the intended response. Visions of grease-encrusted diners, timeworn seafood joints and, let’s face it, (the really old-school) Medieval Times are likely to come to mind. This story is about something a little loftier—and a lot older—the Black Horse Tavern in Mendham. Originally a stagecoach stop, the Black Horse has been serving New Jerseyans since the 1740s, making it by most measures the state’s oldest restaurant.

Which is not to say there is anything “old” about the menu. On the contrary, since the arrival of its young executive chef and general manager, Kevin Felice, the Black Horse has struck a balance that appeals equally to its well-heeled local clientele and those with more intrepid and adventurous tastes. The focus of the approachable, understandable menu is farm-to-table sustainability; the high-quality meat, poultry and fish are surrounded by fresh, seasonal ingredients.

Indeed, Felice makes great use of the 10 farms within five minutes of his kitchen. That kitchen features a slow-cook rotisserie which he has put to use in a number of imaginative ways (including producing its own bacon). It should be noted that the Black Horse Tavern is famous for its roast beef, mac & cheese and other homey menu items. We worked our way through the appetizers and entrées with an eye toward the freshest, healthiest options, the most intriguing combination of ingredients, and eye-catching preparations.

For starters, the standouts included an Arugula Ricotta Salad and Crispy Crab Cake. The salad earned high marks for taste, nutritional value and a clean, modern presentation. The arugula really popped, sugar-snap peas added a touch of crisp sweetness, and the salad itself was well-seasoned. If you are watching your calories, ask for the dressing on the side; we would have stopped the pour a bit sooner. Ask the server to make sure there is plenty of ricotta. It was delicious. The crab cake was the best-executed appetizer on the menu. It was not overly salty, and the accompanying fennel and dill salad was a great addition to the dish, which balanced many flavors. A good portion of lump crab and very little filler let the seafood do the talking.

Photo by Brett Wilshe

The entrées are unquestionably the stars at the Black Horse. The Smoked Bone-In Pork Chop had a wonderful level of smoke without being the least bit dry. The cut and presentation was smart and whimsical, and the mustard and cherry chutney went very well with the dish. It was nice to find a large pork chop that was well-seasoned and smoked, and the chef did a superb job of ensuring that each bite was moist and juicy.

The Farm-Raised Seared Salmon was presented beautifully. Everyone has their own preference regarding the doneness of fish; we would have liked our salmon taken off the heat a minute sooner. We thought the accompanying herbed quinoa was extraordinary—nutty and perfectly cooked, with a lovely hint of basil oil. The Myers Organic Filet may be the best quality steak you’ve ever had. Seasoned with coarse salt to coax out and heighten every molecule of flavor, it literally melts in the mouth. Order this anything above medium rare and you should be led away in handcuffs.

Having been tipped off in advance that everything on the dessert menu is made on premises, we saved room for the Key Lime Pie, Blackout Devil’s Food Cake and Blueberry Lavender Ice Cream. The custard had tremendous texture and flavor, with a burst of lime in every bite—you can tell fresh lime juice was used. The crust had a rich, buttery flavor but there was disagreement at the table on whether it should have had more crunch.

Photo by Brett Wilshe

We also disagreed on which dessert was our favorite. All were superb. The chocolate cake was not overly sweet and very moist. It was decadent enough to live up to its name. The ice cream was smooth, rich and full of blueberry flavor, with the little tweak of lavender with each spoonful. We guessed there was a hint of clove in the recipe, which the chef later confirmed. If you are looking for a guilt-free finishing touch to a meal at the Black Horse Tavern, the antioxidant properties of this dessert make it the hands-down best choice. In fact, go ahead and order a second scoop!

Michelle Ali

Nicholas Brooks

Editor’s Note: We asked EDGE’s regular food reviewer, Andy Clurfeld, to work on an Old School-themed wine and spirits story for this issue. Into the breach stepped Michelle Ali and Nicholas Brooks. Michelle is the Director of Food and Nutrition Services for Trinitas. Nicholas is TRMC’s Executive Chef. Together, they have re-invented the concept we used to call “hospital food.” Michelle, it should be noted, does not eat meat, so Nicholas handled that part of the menu.

It’s the phone call Jersey Shore restaurants love to get… and the one that’s driving them crazy.

Superstorm Sandy did more than just splinter our beloved boardwalks and leave miles of beach towns in devastation and wreckage. It took from us the iconic eateries, watering holes and gathering places where so many Jersey Shore memories were made. The storm surge blew through hundreds of businesses. Some rebuilt, some are still trying, a few just gave up and walked away. Though bruised and battered, the beaches are all open this summer, as are most—but not all—of the beloved beach businesses.

Here is a snapshot (taken in May) of who’s up and running, and whom you might want to check with before penciling them into you shore itinerary. Most were underwater at one point, or perilously close to it. Please note that some of the “Check Firsts” will be open by the time you read this story—so don’t be scared away. Sadly, others may be gone forever…no matter how many times you check.

PLEASANT/PT. PLEASANT BEACH

Martell’s Tiki Bar • Jenks Club • Red’s Lobster Pot • Spike’s • Offshore

SANDY HOOK

OPEN: Sandy Hook State Park

CHECK FIRST: Sea Gulls’ Nest

SEA BRIGHT

OPEN: Woody’s • Harry’s • Ama

CHECK FIRST: Anjelica’s • Donovan’s • McLoone’s

SEASIDE

CHECK FIRST: Seaside Boardwalk Casino Pier

Seaside Funtown Pier

SPRING LAKE

OPEN: Whispers • Black Trumpet • The Breakers

Editors Note: The writer’s family owns Johnny Piancone’s in Long Branch. The water never got near the place, and they were up, running and super-busy within a few days.

Junior year doesn’t have to be a scorcher.

For college-bound high school students (and their parents), getting junior year right promises a lifetime of rewards. Messing it up can lead to frustration, acrimony and an endless string of woulda’s, coulda’s, shoulda’s and what-if’s. Which makes you wonder: Why is it that most college counselors don’t have a formal sit-down with kids until March or April of their junior year? That puts families in the unenviable position of learning the process while doing the process.

That’s the educational equivalent of diffusing a bomb while reading the manufacturer’s instruction manual for the first time.

In the spirit of summer, I would encourage young people and their families making the transition from sophomore to junior year to start embracing SPF. No, not the sun protection SPF—Student Proactive Factor. It’s a six-step process for juniors that should start right about now, but for younger students it can definitely begin earlier..

It’ll be a day at the beach if your rising junior…

• Improves overall GPA by two clicks.

It’s now or never.  Colleges look for an “up” trend and as a parent you can help by encouraging your child to draft a mission statement for junior year. Every academic, social and extracurricular decision from that point forward should be weighed against this goal. Keeping their eyes on the prize will reduce the chance of derailment.

• Begins connecting with admissions representatives at top-choice colleges.

Pick the schools you like and get on their radar. Parents can assist by transporting their child to at least one college fair and then taking a back seat. Shadow your child but refrain from speaking at all. This often-excruciating exercise sends the clear message that it is the student’s process, not the parents’.

• Makes something better at school or in the community.

Colleges aren’t looking for applicants who try to reinvent the wheel; just make a better mousetrap. Prompt your child to identify two or three aspects that they like about their school setting and two or three opportunities for positive change outside school. Then, the student is encouraged to choose area of need and respond to it with the leadership of love.

Campus Visits

If your kid’s begun Driver’s Ed before you’ve visited a college campus, then slow down and back up!Somehow, everything accelerates when students become independently mobile. Go online, buy a college guide, ask around—just pick schools that seem to represent the light at the end of the tunnel and make a day trip or two. You’ll be hearing a lot of pitches from admissions officers over the next 12 to 15 months, and each will make his or her school sound great. Learn to listen between the lines, and get comfortable walking around college campuses. Strength: Zinc Oxide

Student Buy-In

When you have skin in the game, there is more personal accountability. Tell your child what college costs, and how much debt you are likely to incur during the course of their education. Even if you are a “full-pay” family, consider saddling your child with a small student loan. This may help focus your daughter or son on getting serious about the process now. Besides, there’s no time like the present to start providing kids with life lessons about their future of financial autonomy. Strength: SPF 10

Get Acquainted and Organized

Explore and understand fully the processes in place at your school. Remember that, regardless of whether you work with an outside educational consultant, collaborating with your school-based guidance counselor is vitally important. Ask about how to request transcripts, how much lead time is necessary, the protocol for teacher recommendations, etc. While you’re at it, remember that, in this process, the squeaky wheel almost always gets the grease. So try to get a read on how much squeaking you’ll need to do to get the grease you desire in the year ahead.   Strength: SPF 15

Your kid will look like a lobster if he or she…

• Self-sabotages.

Be vigilant regarding behavior that may look like typical teen-aged “ball-dropping” but can actually be deliberate self-sabotage. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy stemming from students’ internalization that they are not worthy of enjoying success. Drawing on the personality development research of Stanford professor Dr. Carol Dweck, parents can make enormous strides by taking praise of intelligence out of their vocabulary and instead, praising their children for their diligent work ethic. This will encourage students to feel worthy of achievement and simultaneously less afraid of vulnerability, risk-taking and comfort-zone transcending in the learning arena.

• Tries to outsmart the teachers.

Teens, especially those of a precocious nature, may believe that they are in no need of growing the bonds of the teacher-student relationship. However, it is precisely that seeking-out of a mentor—and the act of asking for advice and extra help—that can enlist a champion of a student’s admission cause. Encourage the growth and healthy development of advisor relationships. Reinforce to your teen that it takes a village. Or remind them of the Wonder Pets!wisdom: What’s gonna work? Teamwork!

• Fails to understand cause and effect.

High school students do not have fully developed frontal lobes of their brains. Period. This process of development helps us link choices with natural consequences, i.e., “If I run this red light, likely it will only affect me, but nothing is going to happen anyway.” As a result of this perspective, adolescents can make short-term decisions that may result in troublesome long-term consequences. Add any illegal substance, and the effects are exponentially skewed. As a parent, you need to send a strong and consistent message of a zero-tolerance policy for drugs, alcohol and internet pornography. The effects on the developing brain have been amply documented. Be prepared to provide your young adults with fac

ts and stats. This is an information generation and good data trumps cautionary tales.

Don’t End Summers Empty-Handed

Encourage your child to be productive, be adventurous, be courageous, grow a passion, plan for consistency of theme in involvements, explore career paths and possible topics for academic majors and undergraduate programs through shadowing, internships, work or study and academic research. Strength: SPF 20

Reverse-Engineer Your Application

As hindsight is 20/20, backwards-plan as much as possible. Your child might ask questions such as: What level of math or language do I desire to be taking by senior year? What clubs will provide opportunities to take on meaningful leadership by the second half of my high school career? Who will be willing to champion me in my recommendation letters? What story do I want to be able to tell colleges about myself, and how I have stewarded my talents? Strength: SPF 30

GPA and Course Selection: Quality vs. Quantity

When evaluating grade point average, colleges look at whether students have taken on the most challenging courses at their schools. So get involved and be deliberate when picking courses. Be sensitized to strengths and areas of developing expertise, defer to challenge and rigor in almost every case. Also, inquire about teachers’ legacies at the school—who goes the extra mile and who’s phoning it in? Begin to grow strong adult mentor relationships and become the most interesting you possible. Remember, its’ more about skill-set acquisition and exposure than volume. Strength: SPF 50 EDGE

Editors Note: Erin Avery runs Avery Educational Resources, an independent educational consulting practice. The company holds a popular College Application Boot Camp (August 6-9 on the Jersey Shore), where rising seniors complete their common application, personal statement and activity essay before senior year and fall athletic seasons begin. For families with summer homes in the Metro area, the company also offers Bespoke Boot Camp on-location. For more info, log onto averyeducation.com.

They say the new rule for modern weddings is that there are no rules. Actually, there’s nothing new about that.

Am I imagining things, or does this wedding planner stink?

In Medieval Europe, June weddings became popular because people took their annual baths in May. The tradition of a bridal bouquet began at weddings held after June, when the happy couple and their guests tended to be a bit more fragrant.

I am so ready to start dating again…

Daniel Bakeman and Susan Brewer were just teenagers when they got hitched in New York in 1772. Susan passed away before Daniel, in 1863, making their marriage the longest in modern history at 91 years.

Oh, right. And Rip Taylor is “just a bit flamboyant”….

In 2007, a man named Liu Ye in the Chinese city of Zhuhai got fed up with being single. Unable to find a suitable mate, he married a foam-core cutout of himself. Over 100 guests attended the traditional ceremony, which included a best man and bridesmaid. Ye admitted that he might be “just a bit narcissistic.”

Wait. Didn’t I see this on a reality show?

When the legendary lover Casanova decided to settle down, the mother of the young woman to whom he proposed reminded him that they had once been lovers—and informed him that he was proposing to his own daughter.

No way we’re tipping the band…

Elton John once charged £2 million to  sing at a wedding.

Today, we just use Slim Jims…

In Ancient Rome, marriage experts studied the entrails of swine in order to determine the luckiest day to hold a wedding.

And your point is…?

In a 1976 mass wedding held in Yankee Stadium—during which more than 20,000 members of the Unification Church tied the knot—Reverend Sun Myung Moon announced that the world had lost faith in America, and that New York had become “a jungle of immorality and depravity.”

Does that mean there are more than 25,000 wedding singers?

In the People’s Republic of China, more than 25,000 marriages ceremonies are performed on an average day.

Any truth to the rumor she’s seeing the Tilt-A-Whirl on the side?

In 2009, a 23-year-old woman named Amy Wolfe married a roller coaster in Pennsylvania. She had fallen in love with 1001 Nachts at Knoebels Amusement Park as a teenager and claimed to have developed a relationship with “him.” After the ceremony, Amy changed her last name to Weber, after the ride‘s manufacturer.

And the line at the carving station was ridiculous…

In 1867, the wedding of Maria del Pozzo to Prince Amedeo of Italy got off to a rocky start when it was discovered that Maria’s wardrobe mistress had hung herself and the palace gatekeeper had also committed suicide. Things could only get better from there, right? Wrong. It was a blistering hot day, causing the elaborately garbed leader of the wedding procession to collapse and die from heatstroke. After the happy couple boarded their honeymoon train, the stationmaster fell onto the tracks and was crushed under the train’s wheels. The carnage continued as an aide to the king fell off his horse and broke his neck during the revelry, and Amedeo’s best man accidentally shot himself.

News, views and insights on maintaining a healthy edge.

Coughing Up More for Cigarettes

Getting adults to quit smoking sometimes seems like an uphill battle. But keeping kids from starting is a little easier. Study after study—many dozens, in fact—agree that the more cigarettes cost, the less likely young people are to start smoking. That is one of the main reasons the Centers for Disease Control is backing President Obama’s recent proposal to raise the federal tobacco tax by almost 100%.  CDC Director Tom Frieden estimates that this alone would result in 230,000 fewer people taking up the habit as teens. An additional benefit would be a reduction in heavy smokers. A 2012 study by Tobacco Control magazine found that people who smoke two packs a day were very likely to cut back with a steep rise in prices.

60 is the New…75?

We may be living longer than our ancestors, but are we healthier? A new study in the Netherlands suggests we are not. Researchers looked at the prevalence of risk factors for stroke, heart disease and diabetes—including obesity and high blood pressure—and found that today’s adults are “15 years older” than their parents and grandparents at the same stage of life. The reason we live longer is probably because fewer of us smoke, and treatments for common diseases are better. The study, published in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, followed 15,000 adults between 20 and 59 for a period of 16 years.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Who takes it harder when a relationship goes south? A study by Wake Forest University claims that young men do. Despite being portrayed as aloof and insensitive in romantic relationships, they appear to be more emotionally involved than their female counterparts. Researchers found that young women derived a greater benefit from being part of a couple. However, their male counterparts were more likely than women to be harmed emotionally when a relationship hit the rocks. “This finding makes a lot of sense and is extremely logical,” says Dr. Rodger Goddard, Director of Wellness Management Services at Trinitas. “Women are socialized to share and express their emotions and stress with others. When men get together, however, young and old, they tend to talk about sports, politics and other things that are external to them. They often save their emotions and intimacy for their love relationships. It therefore makes sense that, when they lose the person they love, they are more devastated emotionally than women are…because now they are without an outlet for their emotional side.”

The One Percent Solution

Every week it seems we hear about another initiative to get teens to eat healthier. And yet our eyes tell us that teens are eating more junk than ever. Well, our eyes don’t lie. The University of Oklahoma’s School of Public Health just released data from a five-year study that shows 4 in 5 teens are eating their way toward heart disease. Even worse, only 1 in 100 teens is eating an “ideal” diet from a heart-health perspective. The American Heart Association, which published the report, characterized the numbers as unacceptably high and called for broad social and cultural changes as the only way to avoid a national catastrophe by the time today’s teens reach middle age. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” observes

Kevin Lukenda, DO Chairman, Family Medicine

Kevin Lukenda, DO, Chairman of the Family Medicine Department at Trinitas. “Parents need to show their teens and ’tweens how to eat healthy, by example. Also, fewer video games and more outside activity will keep the heart healthy.”

Bipolar Breakthrough

In the last issue of EDGE, Chris Gibbs wrote about the advances in medicine triggered by the Human Genome Project. One of the newest advances may benefit people suffering from bipolar disorder. Researchers at University in College in London found that a small percentage of these patients had a mutation in a brain receptor gene that put them at greater risk for bipolar disorder. The findings, published in JAMA Psychology, suggest that these individuals can be effectively treated with existing drugs that are not currently used for bipolar disorder. Indeed, two drugs trialed for anxiety disorder and schizophrenia should be effective on 1.7% of bipolar patients. It’s not a huge number, of course, but to that 1.7% it could mean the world. While genetic research holds tremendous promise,

Anwar Y. Ghali, MD Chairman, Psychiatry

Dr. Anwar Y. Ghali, Chairman of Psychiatry at Trinitas, cautions that the medications approved by the FDA—including mood stabilizers and second-generation anti-psychotics—are still the most effective means of treating bipolar disorder. “In addition,” he says, “psychotherapy is indicated for better adjustment and coping with the disease, as well helping to reduce future relapses.”

As a rule, and often out of necessity, interventional cardiologists are as cool and detached as they come. Fayez Shamoon is the exception that proves the rule.

By Jennifer L. Nelson

How frail the human heart must be. When Sylvia Plath penned those words she could hardly have anticipated the work of Dr. Fayez Shamoon, the newly appointed Medical Director of Cardiovascular Services at Trinitas Regional Medical Center. Whether performing a heart-valve replacement procedure, or springing into action to save a patient’s life after suffering a heart attack, Dr. Shamoon blends world-class technical skill in interventional cardiology with a level of personal involvement which, for decades, has set him apart from his peers.

“Cardiology is a fascinating, procedure-oriented field,” he says, “but it’s the time I spend with patients that I find most rewarding. Once you do something for them, you can just tell how much they appreciate it.”

Learning Curve

Although he keeps himself busy consulting with patients and providing life-saving cardiac procedures, Dr. Shamoon remains committed to the pursuit of education. Along with co-authoring some 50 peer-reviewed articles, he actively participates in clinical trials and studies to do his part to advance the field of cardiac care. He is currently the Program Director of the General Cardiology Fellowship and Interventional Fellowship programs at Seton Hall University’s School of Health and Medical Science. Since graduating from medical school, he has shared his knowledge at a range of academic institutions in various capacities. “One of the most enjoyable parts of what I do is interacting with residents and fellows,” he says. “I’m a teacher by nature, and never believed I belonged in private practice.”

Dr. Fayez Shamoon, Director of Cardiovascular Services (left) confers with Dr. John D’Angelo, Chairman of the Department of Emergency Medicine, about the life-saving potential of field as-sessments of patients suffering heart attacks caused by blocked arteries, known as STEMI.

That’s the easy part of the job, Dr. Shamoon insists. In an environment where technology and procedure are ever-changing, he must remain laser-focused on the latest surgical practices and treatments. “Cardiology is such a progressive, high-tech field…and there are so many advances in the pipeline,” he says. “It’s very exciting.”

Among Dr. Shamoon’s proudest moments as a cardiologist are when he succeeds in keeping a patient out of the operating room; his expertise in the latest cardiac procedures can often spare patients from traditional open-heart surgery. While on-site at Trinitas, he can almost always be found in the Cardiac Catheterization Lab. When a patient is suffering from a heart attack, Dr. Shamoon is among the first on call. Every minute counts (with 90 minutes of arrival being the industry-accepted maximum), and the team at Trinitas routinely cuts 15 to 20 minutes off its “door-to-balloon” time — significantly improving the success rate of a life-saving angioplasty procedure. Trinitas remains one of the only medical centers in New Jersey to provide a direct line to cardiac care by allowing patients experiencing an ST segment elevation myocardial infarction (STEMI)—in layman’s terms a heart attack caused by a blocked coronary artery—to bypass the emergency room and head straight for the cardiac unit. “This is really my major work,” Dr. Shamoon explains.

Janice Learn, RN, Director of the Cardiac Catheterization Labora-tory, works closely with Dr. Shamoon in caring for patients who undergo elective and emergency cardiac procedures at Trinitas.

Dr. Shamoon also makes himself available to perform an array of clinical procedures—including aortic valve replacements where patients may need him in other institutions in Northern New Jersey. One of his specialties is a cutting-edge technique that allows surgeons to replace a heart valve through a catheter inserted into a small incision in a patient’s groin, ultimately sparing them from open-heart surgery. “They wake up the next day and it’s like nothing ever happened,” he smiles.

Dr. Shamoon received his medical degree and training overseas at the University of Jordan and Jordan University Hospital. He spent years as an ER physician at hospitals in Northern New Jersey and then established a private practice in North Arlington in the late 1990s. But, the cardiologist has always felt the tug of the community. Now in Elizabeth, he has planted himself firmly in the realm of hospital care, where his breadth of experience can benefit the widest possible audience.

“Trinitas is truly a community hospital, and I pride myself on being able to provide a real service for the region,” he says. “When patients need me, I can offer my skills to them right where they live.”

Editor’s Note: You can contact Dr. Shamoon in his office at (908) 994-5333.

Mother-daughter relationships are as complex as they come. At least, they’re supposed to be.

Following in the footsteps of a parent can be a perilous journey. Expectations are high, comparisons are many, and the challenge to measure up to that legacy can result in an enduring personal struggle. Not so for Dr. Michelle Cholankeril, whose choice to follow her mother, Mary, into oncology not only proved to be the simple one, but the right one, too.

“All of my life, I have watched my family do charitable work,” she explains. “My grandfather was a physician, my mother was a physician, and through them doing their jobs, I felt like this was a career I wanted to pursue—where I could actually go out into the community to help people and gain personal satisfaction from contributing to medical society.”

Dr. Cholankeril practices hematology and medical oncology at the Trinitas Comprehensive Cancer Center. She is the one beaming as she walks through the doors of her hospital each day, ready to take on any and all challenges. And those conversations with her mother—as both a colleague and a daughter gathering insight?That’s a wonderful bonus.

Trinitas Regional Medical Center is something of a second home to Dr. Cholankeril. She has been working at the hospital since high school. She started as a volunteer behind the entrance desk in the main lobby, worked in the ICU as a medical student, and continued to maintain a family connection to Trinitas in the years that followed. In 2013, her career came full circle, as it were, when she joined the Trinitas staff as an M.D.

Working in hematology and oncology has a particular appeal to Dr. Cholankeril. “These are the most grateful patients, in a sense, because not only do they value their life, but they also understand the value of the diagnoses they have,” she says. “It’s really great to be involved in a field where you can witness a cure in some of your own patients. It’s quite fulfilling to be a part of something so extraordinary.”

Needless to say, Dr. Cholankeril is a student of her specialty as well as a practitioner. She helps submit abstracts to the American Association for Cancer Research (AACR) and the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO). She is currently a part of clinical trials run by Trinitas, and also does work with the Jefferson Kimmel Cancer Center in Philadelphia to further expand clinical trials. The progress she has witnessed firsthand in her field convinces her that cancer will ultimately be defeated through advancements that have been made in just the last few years.

“A lot of what we know about cancer today is based on the research we obtained from yesterday,” she says. “If you are involved in research today, then you are able to be a part of the future of oncology. So far it has been a great learning experience.”

Dr. Cholankeril’s career path might have been paved by doctors in the generations before her, but at the end of the day she leaves footprints of her own, building on the wisdom of her mother and grandfather. As she treks through the daily challenges and triumphs, however, she is keenly aware that the apple hasn’t fallen all that far from the tree. And she’s okay with that.

“My mother always said to pursue what my calling is, whatever that may be,” she points out. “She never suggested one thing or another. I suppose she thought I was responsible enough to make my own decisions, so she told me to follow a career path that makes me happy. And that’s what I ended up doing.”   EDGE

Editor’s Note: You can contact Dr. Cholankeril in her Trinitas office at (908) 994-8771.

When it comes to serious yard work, it’s what’s out front that counts.

In Chinese, the word “crisis” consists of two characters. One represents danger, the other opportunity. This sums up rather neatly the state of suburban lawns in post-Sandy New Jersey. Hopefully, by now you have taken care of the downed wires and looming limbs and are focusing on the opportunity to re-imagine your front lawn.

Every plot of land presents its own challenges, of course, but there are some cosmetic rules-of-thumb that can make your property more appealing.  We checked in with four Garden State landscaping experts, gave them a suburban home with a sidewalk in front, and asked them for their tips and tricks to undo what Sandy did and punch up the curb appeal.

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Dave Williams

Williams Nursery • Westfield

If you’ve lost trees during Sandy, there is a silver lining: you have gained more sun. So now you can plant shrubs with more summer blooms that would have suffered in the trees’ shade. Over the past few years, shrubs with multiple blooming times have come on the market.

Take hydrangeas—they used to have a shorter blooming time and if there was a cold winter, you might not get a good bloom that year. A few years ago, we were thrilled when “Endless Summer” hydrangeas arrived. Now we have additional varieties that continually bloom, such as “Forever & Ever” hydrangeas.  Along with the traditional blues, “Forever & Ever” offers wonderful color choices, ranging from “Pistachio’s” pink with green edge and “White-out” to “Peppermint’s” white with pink brushstroke and “Fantasia’s” lime green and pink flowers that fade to blush pink with apricot/mauve hues. An added benefit to “Endless Summer” and “Forever & Ever” is that they are less daunting: hearty, easier and not as affected by weather.  You don’t even have to worry about when to prune. If you plant these hydrangeas, you can cut the blooms for your home and have wonderful color inside and out.

Repeat-blooming plants are also an option. Lilac “Bloomerang” has spring and fall flowers and azalea “Encore” and “Bloom-a-thon” bloom in April/May and again in September/October.

If you miss impatiens—not on the market due to Downy Mildew—a great substitute with a similar color palette is caladium. While not a flowering plant, caladium has heart-shaped leaves in a variety of colors—white, red and pink. Caladium can tolerate the growing challenges of summer months. You can plant it in a dry site in the shade and forget about it.

Bob Sickles

Sickles Market • Little Silver

For myself, in general, I like evergreens, such as hollies and boxwoods for year-round color and structure, and they are easy to maintain. I plant one or two specimen plants, such as fancy-leaved Japanese maples. While it can be finicky like a thoroughbred, this red-leaf plant is a pretty, elegant plant worth the trouble. It looks great all season, whether in leaf or budding or exhibiting fall color.

In the spring, scented plants such as Korean lilacs (May to June), Viburnum carlesii (Korean spice viburnum; early May) and Daphne (mid-April) have beautiful, fragrant blooms. I have planted them near the entrance to our home and particularly like to entertain friends when they’re in bloom.

Perennial shrubs and flowers can give you attractive splashes of color. If you’re looking for hardy, easy-to-care-for plants with nice blooms throughout the summer months, you can’t go wrong with “Endless Summer” hydrangeas and red “Knock-Out” roses. I also love Nikko Blue and Annabelle hydrangeas. For a softer texture, I like Liriope, a broad-leaf grass that you mow once in March and then watch, as it transforms through the seasons from a soft mound of grass to blue flowers to black berries. Liriope is a no-care plant that can take sun or shade. For ground cover, instead of invasive ivy, try Epimedium, which can grow with little sun and water under a tree and has orange and yellow fairy-like flowers.

Kevin Bullard

Kale’s Nursery • Princeton

My home in Lawrenceville has a small front yard that I have landscaped with classic, simple lines. I have boxwoods as a backdrop hedge planted in front of my house, with two feet of mulched bed in front of them that I plant with annuals in the spring. My much larger backyard has a less formal cottage-y feel with more colorful, flowering trees and shrubs. a vegetable garden and perennials of all types. On one side of the front yard, I planted a viburnum, which flowers three to four weeks in the spring. For winter interest, I also have different colored hellebore that flower from February to May or June. A Japanese maple balances the other side of the house.

You also can improve curb appeal by installing a Walpole mailbox or lantern post. These  are high-end products—around $1,000 installed—with high impact. If you’re going for more of a cottage feel, you could install a decorative post with a birdhouse with a shingled or copper roof within sight of a front window.  Large planters—clay, aged terra cotta, cast-iron, concrete—can be planted at your nursery with a burst of colored flowers and delivered to the front step.

Beyond landscaping, my family enhances our home. My three-year-old son helps me mulch, plant annuals and small perennials and keeps me company as I work on our landscape. What could be better!

Todd Thompson

Guaranteed Plants • Middletown

For many of my clients, my landscaping approach is “less work, more reward.” To this end, hearty, deer-resistant plants work best. For next spring’s blooming season, start this fall with planting pockets of daffodils about 4 to 6 inches deep. Daffodils are great. They’re deer-resistant, have lots of varieties and colors and, unlike tulips that only seem to last a couple of years, they multiply until needing to be divided in five years or so. I call this the “First Act.”

For the “Second Act” later in the spring (mid- to late-May), you can plant over the daffodils with annuals that will bloom for the rest of the summer and into the fall. Here I try to create “continuous show” with some variety taking place during the growing season. Along with continuous show, shrub roses also make for “less work, more reward.” The compact “Drift Rose” comes in peach, apricot, white and pink and grows 3 feet wide and between 1 ½ to 2 feet high. For larger impact, “Knock-Out” roses get to be 5 to 6 feet if you let them go. I like to pair the shrub roses with hydrangea macrophylla, either the snowball type or lace-cape. “City-line” from Proven Winners offers compact hydrangeas named for different cities and are re-blooming varieties that flower late into the fall. They need to be deadheaded to encourage more flowers—if they aren’t they won’t bloom prolifically.

If you want to decorate your mailbox or trellis, try Lonicera, a long-blooming ornamental honeysuckle vine that is non-invasive and comes in white, yellow, pink and orangey-pink. For continuous color and curb appeal, in early spring, I like to use large pots with frost-tolerant annuals near the front door. These can be filled with sunscape daisies, verbena, mini-petunias, pansies, nemesia, bacopa, lobularia or diascia (aka twinspur). You can make these pots convertible and stick a 6-inch pot with tulips or daffodils in them. When they are finished blooming, pull them out and pop in a salvia or geraniums and angelonia.

Again, less work, more reward.

New Jersey boasts a surprising number of romantic restaurants. These rank among the very best. 

Any dinner accompanied by the voice of jazz vocalist Steve Tyrell is romantic to me. How simple is that? I don’t need chandeliers, banquettes fitted with tapestries and puffed with pillows, views of water or mountains. I don’t particularly want service by a crew that bows, china and silver with pedigrees, or trend-of-the-second food. I’d likely spend the evening making snide comments if a wine list was all about trophy bottles, if an entrée required a scalpel and tweezers to assemble, and if the person I was with could not refrain from snapping photos of every course.

Frenchtown Inn

Okay, so perhaps I do have my preferences. We all do. After almost 25 years of reviewing restaurants in New Jersey, I could list in a nanosecond the restaurants I’d avoid if asked for my personal choices for a romantic dinner. I don’t like pomp, I don’t like pretense and I really, really don’t like anything that smacks of imitation. Sincerity is the surest shot to lassoing my heart. I love restaurants helmed by chefs who cook with passion and skill, who offer a strong voice in food. Kind of the way Steve Tyrell plays the piano and sings.

If you do a little research, ask a few questions, I suspect you’ll find that the person to whom you want to give an evening of romance has preferences of his or her own. Maybe even a private list of restaurants that sing “Isn’t It Romantic?” So ask. Just ask.

But if your partner in romantic dining isn’t much of a planner, a researcher or doesn’t have an inquisitive mind, I’d like to pass on a handful of restaurant recommendations to keep in mind should the object of your affections ask where you’d like to spend a romantic evening. These are classics, to be sure. Restaurants, in most cases, that have served the Garden State for years. They are reflective of place, have stood fast to their missions in the face of changing times, even changes of chefs. Some make bold culinary statements, some have stolen my heart in subtle ways.

Whether they strike a chord with you, or simply start you thinking about your own preferences, I hope you snag an evening (or three) this season devoted to a romantic dinner….

• On the Delaware River is the Frenchtown Inn, where the food and the setting duke it out for top honors. Let’s call it a perennial draw. Nothing there has ever been over the top, chi-chi or trendy. Today, with chef-owner Andrew Tomko in the kitchen, the last stop in Frenchtown before crossing the bridge to Pennsylvania is one of my first recommendations when folks inquire about a special restaurant for a special night out. Drive around the western Hunterdon County countryside, stop at some antiques shops, art galleries and studios, then end up at this inn. Confession? A few decades ago, I lived across the street, in the old Gem Theater building. (Yes, I remember when the serene Frenchtown Inn was a rowdy townie bar called the Warford House.) So the Frenchtown Inn is a sentimental favorite. Romance often comes with a dash of sentimentality.

• I remember so many top-drawer dinners at The Bernards Inn, in Bernardsville. I remember sitting out on the porch, talking with the wine importer Bobby Kacher about his excursions around the south of France; a tete-a-tete with a soul mate as we talked politics in scary times and scary places; a spirited dinner with a food-centric pal who’d taken the train from New York City because he wanted an evening in the kind of place they just don’t grow where he lives. The Bernards Inn long has been a commanding presence in New Jersey dining, but never more than since chef Corey W. Heyer took charge of the kitchen. His technical precision serves his creativity well, and the elegant setting is about old-school understatement, not flamboyance.

• Well, there is a certain flamboyance about Rat’s, the upscale restaurant set amid the world-class Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton. Art, art is everywhere, in the various dining spaces that are all about bounty, in the rooms that welcome, in the restrooms that don’t give the senses a break. That’s all deliberate, the brainchild of Seward Johnson, who, the year it opened, gave me a personal tour of Rat’s and the atelier he installed in the compound when I was on assignment for Town & Country magazine. Johnson was forward-thinking, connecting Rat’s (named after a loyal and hospitable character in the book The Wind in the Willows) to a farm at its birth, urging diners to tour the sculpture grounds before or after their meal, determined to make dinner an all-inclusive creative experience. The mission and the restaurant, reinforced today by the wide-ranging talents of chef Shane Cash in the kitch and the management of Philadelphia-based restaurateur Stephan Starr, never fail to warm my heart.

Small, intimate, reminiscent of a locally loved French bistro, A Toute Heure in Cranford is my idea of a restaurant expertly and exquisitely conceived and realized. Many have tried similar concepts, but few have hit the mark as well as the ownership team of Andrea and Jim Carbine and executive chef Kara Decker, the prime forces behind the sweet little spot that has earned its statewide reputation for purely delicious food. Sure, A Toute Heure can be seen as a tad cramped. (I see it as comfortably cozy.) There’s no liquor license, so it’s BYOB.(That’s happiness for a wine geek like me, who always has bottles at the ready for the seasonally satisfying plates this conscientious kitchen serves forth.) Spontaneous dining simply can’t be expected on weekends—or, I so often hear—even on weeknights since the place books out. (I like looking forward to a special night out, so reserving a month ahead is fine for me.) This bistro is beloved.

The first time I ate at Makeda, the Ethiopian restaurant in New Brunswick, was back in its early days, when it was located in a smaller space and the dining was joyfully cheek-to-jowl. It’s long settled in its larger digs in the college town and its imprint on the community is profound: A dear pal who teaches at Rutgers tells me that it’s not only where she takes all out-of-town guests and celebrates birthdays and anniversaries, but the cuisine has influenced her home-cooking. “Makeda transports me every time I eat here,” this professor says. “It’s a vacation in a couple of hours.” I agree, and that’s why this downtown destination owned by Peter Meme and Stuart Smith, with peerless chef Aster Kassa, is always on my go-to list. Sometimes romance is less about where you are, physically, and more about where a restaurant’s food and attitude can take you, spiritually. When at Makeda, I get away in the best possible way.

All this said, I can take a walk on the beach at Barneget Light, swipe the sand off my arms and legs, then canter over to Mustache Bill’s Diner for a plate of chef/owner Bill Smith’s fried flounder (extra tartar sauce, please) and feel like hugging the world. Pop Steve Tyrell in the CD player on the ride home, and the recipe for romance is complete.

Reservations Recommended…

Frenchtown Inn

7 Bridge St., Frenchtown • 908.996.3300

The Bernards Inn

27 Mine Brook Road, Bernardsville • 908.766.0002

Rat’s

16 Fairgrounds Road, Hamilton • 609.584.7800

A Toute Heure

232 Centennial Ave., Cranford • 908.276.6600

Makeda

338 George St., New Brunswick • 732.545.5115

It is possible to have a great first date.

Photocredit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

There are scores of articles, blogs, and web sites about horrendous first dates. Yet not that much has been written about the fantastic ones. Is it a case of not wanting to jinx a budding relationship? Perhaps one needs a little distance from that initial link-up to gain some perspective. Or maybe the train wrecks are just more interesting to read and write about. The fact of the matter is that, whether you’re 16 or 60 or somewhere in between, it is possible to have a great first date…if you follow a few simple rules and embrace the experience.

For most people, “the goal of a first date is to get to a second date,” says Julianne Cantarella, dating coach and owner of New Jersey’s Matchmaker. “For many people, however, obstacles such as anxiety and high expectations can get in the way.”

Cantarella’s advice is to keep it simple and have fun. When she matches people up through her company, for instance, she usually arranges a lunch as a first date. Dinner, she explains, can be uncomfortable for people just getting to know each other—and expectations are usually higher. “Plus, if you’re not hitting it off, you are stuck with each other for a couple of hours. It’s always a good idea to at least have an enjoyable activity to help pass the time, just in case.”

She does not recommend movies or concerts for a first date, however: “The first date is an opportunity to get to know someone…to do that, you need to converse with one another, and you can’t do that at a movie or concert. Save those for subsequent dates.”

GREAT OUTDOORS

If the weather cooperates, a great idea for a first date is exploring one of the many gorgeous state parks in New Jersey, such as Island Beach State Park (great for bike riding), Hacklebarney (for hiking), or Liberty State Park (hop on a ferry and visit the Statue of Liberty or Ellis Island.)  A complete listing can be found on the state web site. There are also hundreds of wonderful community and county parks where you can bring a picnic lunch, such as Grover Cleveland Park in Caldwell, Brookdale Park, which lies within the municipalities of Montclair and Bloomfield, or Verona Park, which offers seasonal paddleboat rides and light fare in its quaint stone Boathouse restaurant.

Participating in a sporting event you both enjoy is also an excellent idea. My first date with my husband, Tom, was the Giralda Farms 10K race in Madison. We had lunch at a diner afterward and that was the beginning of our romantic relationship. Both of us are runners. We met through the Essex Running Club and had been friends for about a year before he asked me out on a “formal” date. I figured if he could fall in love with me all sweaty in running clothes after a race, he was the one.

Photocredit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

POINTS OF INTEREST

If your interests run more toward history or art, there are many places in the Garden State that are ideal for a first date. Mark Luzzi, 55, massage therapist and former resident of Caldwell, suggests Grover Cleveland’s Birthplace in Caldwell. It is the only house museum dedicated to the 22nd and 24th U.S. President, Grover Cleveland.  A bachelor when he entered the White House, Cleveland got married at the age of 49 to Frances Folsom, 21, the youngest First Lady in history. Visitors can partake of parlor games and try on period costumes—but call first for site hours. It’s a short tour, so you can follow it up with coffee and pastries at Calandra’s Italian Village, which is nearby.

Luzzi also recommends the Stickley Museum at Craftsman Farms in Morristown, Gustav Stickley’s early 20th century country estate, a National Historic Landmark that will transport you back to 1911. “I love Stickley’s furniture but cannot afford it, so this is the next best thing,” he says.

If you both are fond of nature and photography, investigate Hackensack Riverkeeper Eco-Tours. They run from May 4 through October 13. The Eco-Cruises are educational tours of the Hackensack River and the NJ Meadowlands aboard the Hackensack Riverkeeper’s specially rigged pontoon boats. Captain Bill Sheehan started the Eco-Cruise program in 1994 to increase awareness of the lower Hackensack River watershed as a vital natural and recreational resource. The tours generally take between two and two-and-a half hours and are fully narrated by a U.S. Coast Guard-licensed captain.

TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

For first dates with someone you’ve known for a while—and whom you want to impress—then cocktails and dinner are a good bet. Pat Amato, 23, a certified personal trainer in Roseland, recommends Halcyon Brasserie, a popular spot in Montclair for special dates (first and otherwise).  “The décor is beautiful, and before dinner you can relax at the main bar or lounge,” he says. The menu is eclectic, with selections ranging from Organic Scotch Eggs to Kimchi Fried Chicken to Orange Ginger Glazed New Zealand King Salmon.

Jenn Schiffer, 28, a web site developer from Montclair, recommends Pig & Prince as a “nice, fancy place with great cocktails and appetizers.” She also counts Uncle Moustache—which serves French-Lebanese fare—and Tuptim, a Thai restaurant, among her favorite not-too-noisy places to enjoy good first-date conversations.

Another way to make a great impression is to take your date to High Societea House in Wayne—described on its web site as a “tea room where one can go back in time and enjoy the lost art of conversation, while enjoying the perfect pot of tea!”  Catherine Close, a graphic designer in her 50s from Little Falls, had her first date there with her now-husband, Mick. “It’s a lovely ambience,” she says, “with the floral tea cup settings, serving pieces and lace tablecloths.  A relaxed and romantic atmosphere.”

Photocredit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

To complement your tea, there are scrumptious caramel and assorted fruit scones with freshly made lemon curd and clotted cream, homemade soups, salads, finger sandwiches, tea breads, muffins, and assorted desserts. Reservations are encouraged since there are a limited number of tables.

The bottom line is that first dates don’t have to reduce you to a bundle of raw nerves. A little planning, the right attitude, and being open to having fun and living in the moment can go a long way.

Larkspur and Hawk is revisiting designs and techniques of the past…and reinterpreting them for a modern audience.

For most of us, childhood memories of the Jersey Shore involve a cardboard box of old postcards, the odd seashell, and assorted snapshots of family vacations. For Emily Satloff, those memories are expressed in the artistry and design that has made her jewelry brand, Larkspur and Hawk, one of the hottest on the market. Satloff, a lifelong summer-and-weekend resident of a gracious Victorian home in Monmouth County, creates pieces that evoke memories of a warm, elegant way of life—of multi-generational gatherings of friends and families that moved easily between New York and New Jersey…and of countless hours spent browsing shore antique stores with her mother.

I first noticed Larkspur and Hawk during a party at a friend’s home. My eye was drawn to her stunning rose quartz and gold earrings. Having just been to Bergdorf’s, I thought I recognized the expensive designer who made them. Later, when I called my host to thank her—and complimented her on her jewelry—she informed me that I had actually met the designer that night at her house.

I quickly went on-line and discovered that the earrings, while they look important and are real, were much more within my budget. Better yet, I could purchase them during my next trip into the city—at Barney’s and also at Blue Tree, a lifestyle store owned and curated by Phoebe Cates Kline. Similar, more colorful Larkspur and Hawk earrings, were available on the web at Net-a-Porter. I read that Emily Satloff is both a dealer of antique jewelry and a designer of antique-inspired contemporary rings, earrings and necklaces. Intrigued, I contacted her to hear her story.

“My interest in Victorian jewelry and antiques,” explains Satloff, a former Curator of Decorative Arts at the New York Historical Society and Curatorial Consultant to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, “is a by-product of the stately homes that have lined the streets of Deal and Elberon over the last century or so. I love the history of objects. At the Historical Society, it was like working in a grandmother’s attic. I enjoy researching the history of an item, be it esoteric or pedestrian—like George Washington’s toothbrush. Everything is a miniature piece of history and has a story to tell.”

Out of this love and exposure to antiques, she first collected affordable antique jewelry for herself. “I would research each piece—how the lapidarian techniques make a stone more vibrant and how industrial material like cut steel can appear like rose-cut diamonds,” she recalls, “and then educate my clients. About five years ago, I was admiring the effect of foil-backed gemstones and thought: I should take a stab at creating antique-inspired jewelry.”

And so Larkspur and Hawk was born.

“Now I take old ideas and put my own spin on it,” she says. “All the pieces are handmade and I design, pick the stones and hand-paint the foils.”

In the last year, her business has taken off. But Satloff is determined to “grow smart” as she puts it, and not mass-produce. In the meantime, her jewelry is showing up on fashion plates (Tory Burch), the red carpet (Mariska Hartigay) and the silver screen (Friends with Kids). Something good and beautiful, inspired by New Jersey, is finally getting the right sort of attention.

WIN, PLACE OR SHOW

The Trinitas Health Foundation hosted its Night at the Races at the Meadowlands in East Rutherford. More than 175 guests enjoyed an evening of dining at Pegasus Restaurant and the thrill of harness racing while raising $38,000 for the Foundation.

STRENGTHENING THE  ENVIRONMENT OF CARE

Phillips 66 Bayway Refinery, located in Linden, proudly continues its philanthropic activities which generously assist Trinitas. By partnering with Trinitas, Phillips 66 has helped the medical center address pressing equipment needs throughout the facility. Grant writers in the Trinitas Health Foundation have successfully presented grant proposals to the company, and it has responded generously to those requests for funding to enhance the medical center’s capabilities to continue to respond to the health care needs of the community.

With its proximity to the Trinitas Regional Medical Center it seemed like a natural fit for Phillips 66.  In the past several years, Phillips 66 has provided funding toward the creation of an electronic medical records system. The new data system not only eliminates costly and redundant paper, but more importantly provides a consistent means of sharing recorded documentation among health care professionals who are involved in patient care and treatment.

The latest grant that Phillips 66 made to Trinitas will be directed towards the purchase of state-of-the-art cardiac monitors that will be used throughout the medical center. Such monitors are specialized for the departments in which they are used and are critical to the appropriate care and treatment that patients receive.

Nadine Brechner and Gary S. Horan of Trinitas showed their appre-ciation to Phillips 66 Bayway Refinery’s Carol Ziegler, Public Affairs Manager (2nd from right) and Mary Phillips, Community Relations Coordinator, (far right) for the company’s most recent grant.

In the game of life, everyone has to play…so what if your teen feels like a benchwarmer?

By J.M. Stewart

The term Life Coach means different things to different people. You can hire one to help you with anything from cleaning out your closet to overcoming an addiction. For some people, a life coach is like an iPad—they didn’t know they needed one until they had one.

For teenagers struggling to find their way, however, a good life coach can mean the world.

Life coaches help navigate difficult changes and transitions. For young people, that can include moving from an old neighborhood to a new one, from a divorce to a remarriage, from high school to college—or out of a feeling of isolation. A life coach functions as a personal cheering squad and support group rolled into one, offering guidance toward a more balanced and happy life.

A generation ago, the idea of hiring a life coach sounded self-indulgent and a waste of money—something a bored, aimless yuppie would do. Life coaches made convenient fodder for sitcom writers. Today, there’s nothing to laugh about. Not only have life coaches gained in popularity and acceptance, there are numerous certification and training courses available (think amped-up Psych 101 courses) lasting from a few weeks to six months.

That being said, some of the most experienced, competent and successful life coaches are not certified. Their view is that most courses don’t offer the tools that a background in psychology—combined with years of working as a coach—has taught them. But, for the newbies, having a certification doesn’t hurt.

Why then, one might reasonably ask, wouldn’t you just go to a psychologist or other licensed professional instead of hiring a life coach?

“Sometimes,” explains Dove Rose, a highly regarded life coach based in California, “a regular psychologist, psychiatrist is problem-solving with medication or analyzing the past…you’re just in the hamster wheel, regurgitating the same story over and over, instead of trying to live a different story now.”

Indeed, the client–coach relationship is more casual than the psychotherapist–patient relationship. Psychologists rely mostly on scheduled office visits, whereas a life coach is accessible day or night by phone, through emails and texts, or on Skype. A life coach will also come to your home; psychologists don’t. Naturally, a good life coach is always aware that there is a very fine line between knowing when a client just needs someone to talk to, and when there are danger signs of a more serious rooted problem. That is when a life coach recommends the client seek help from a licensed professional.

What types of issues prompt a call to a life coach? Just about any complex lifestyle issue is fair game. In the case of teenagers, the trigger might be remoteness and slipping grades. As a parent, everything you read and hear screams Oh, no—my kid’s on drugs! A life coach who comes in and builds trust with that teen is likely to discover an alternative scenario. For instance, the parents might be raging alcoholics and the teenager doesn’t have the tools to cope with it. Sometimes, the kid just needs a friend who will listen.

Rick Singer began his career as a coach and director of college-level athletics. For more than 25 years he has made a living as a life coach. He’s done life coaching in the corporate environment, as well on the student level. He has helped countless high-school student-athletes follow their dreams and play college sports, and worked with sports celebrities in planning their goals once their playing careers were over. Singer has been most successful working with teens and young adults in finding a college that is an appropriate fit. He cannot emphasize enough the importance of that “fit”—which is why he named his company The Key.

Teenagers, Singer freely admits, can be notoriously exasperating. It will come as no surprise to parents that he has worked with a number of kids who’ve simply had no interest in growing or taking chances where college is concerned. A lot of the time, Singer points out, it’s the result of overzealous parents who are relentless in the desire for their child to get into a big-name four-year college. In these cases, he sometimes finds the parents are unyieldingly negative to the child and negative to the life coach. In extreme circumstances, if the parents are totally out of control, Rick will actually “fire” them; in any given year he will do so with two to four families. It’s unfortunate because, in his experience, the kid will eventually come around.

Many parents of middle-school children hire life coaches. Their goal is to help their young teen deal with issues ranging from time management and personal grooming to weight loss and inferiority complexes. If your 8th grader hands in her homework on time but it’s a crumpled mess, and the teacher deducts points, a life coach might recommend using a folder. You’ve been telling your daughter that for a month—but does she listen? No, of course not. You are a meddling, know-nothing parent. When that same nugget of wisdom comes from a trusted, outside voice, that is the voice your 8th grader will choose to hear.

Before you jump into hiring a life coach—for your child or yourself—it’s important to understand that this can be an ongoing relationship. It can start out as once-a-week meetings or phone calls, evolve into every-day communication during panic situations, and then wane to once every two weeks, once a month, or just once in awhile. The cost of all of this support varies. Some coaches charge $60 an hour, some $200 per hour, some$5,000 for a whole year of coaching. So, it’s important to understand the coach’s billing system. Make sure to ask if they charge extra for phone calls, texts and emails.

Life coaches aren’t for everybody, but they do offer people a sense of calm and community, knowing that there is always someone they can talk to. People today often feel isolated as a result of problems at work, at school or at home. And although we are more connected than ever thanks to our myriad devices and social media outlets, it doesn’t mean we feel less isolated, sitting in a room by ourselves. For all of these technological advances, we seem to be losing the human exchanges that keep us whole.

“It takes a village,” Dove Rose likes to remind clients, “to stay sane in this world.”

And yes, you can say that a life coach is really just a paid friend. But you get what you pay for: everything that a really good friend should be.

Life Coaches & College:

5 Minutes with Rick Singer

Q: When is the best time for a life coach to enter into a teenager’s life?

A: A third of our families are in 9th grade, a third are in 10th grade, and the last third are the “panic” families.

Q: What is the difference between what you do as a life coach and a college advisor?

A: A lot of people who do what I do are just college advisors. They don’t engage in the kids’ lives, helping them figure out what they want to be and how to do it in terms of schooling. Life coaches are the people who engage in our clients’ lives and do different things to help them grow, in addition to getting into college. Because I’m in the home, I see everything else that goes on in the house. Whereas most advisors just focus in on the technical aspects of helping a kid get into college—like helping with the application—I do both. I want to help them get into college and I want to help them grow as people. The key is coaching them in everything about their life. There aren’t a lot of people who do it like we do it.

Q: What are some issues that you help with outside of the college process?

A: It can be a lack of motivation, especially with boys. There are kids who have learning “differences” and the parents feel that nobody cares about them; meanwhile they’re smart kids! The high-school advisor has no clue or doesn’t want to take the time to help. I also help to find the right school for the student, now that there are so many schools that the kids are looking at and comparing.

Q: How do parents of girls differ from parents of boys in terms of their goals for college?

A: The typical parents will send their daughter to a private school more so than they would a boy, because the parents of a girl want their kid at a “safe” school, a small, safe college. Boys? The mindset is just throw ’em into any public college—they’ll survive. That is not always the case, however. Sometimes a junior college, or even a trade school, is a more appropriate choice.