Okay, let’s be blunt for a moment. When you think “New Jersey Dream Wedding,” that dream doesn’t really end with a two-hour jaunt down the Garden State Parkway. A week on the West Coast? That’s more like it. Ten days in Tokyo? Absolutely. A fortnight in France? Now you’re talking! Alas, the sad fact is that New Jersey couples don’t always have the days to spare for such glittering post-nup adventures. Which is why staying in-state might just be the brightest option of all. It all comes down to picking your spot. Consider if you will that, for thousands of couples from all over the world, Atlantic City is the honeymoon destination.

You know that surge of excitement you feel when you hit the AC Expressway? Imagine adding that to the glow of an impending wedding night. “What could be more romantic than a hotel suite with an ocean view, four miles of beautiful beaches and Boardwalk to stroll on, superior dining choices, luxurious spas and great entertainment?” asks Jeff Vasser. Okay, Mr. Vasser gets paid to plug AC. He’s President of the Convention and Visitors Authority. But the man’s got a point. Combine the indulgent pampering available to honeymooners in this town that’s “Always Turned On” with the opulent casino gambling a mere elevator-ride away, and you’ve got the makings of a winning hand. And wouldn’t you know it? Atlantic City’s top hotels are all over this honeymoon thing.

At the Trump Taj Mahal, for instance, newlyweds can choose between Romantic and Risqué. Each includes an ocean view suite in the gorgeous new Chairman Tower, a bottle of bubbly and, depending on which option they have selected, either a Romance or Risqué Intimacy Kit (contents unknown). “We created these packages to offer our guests an experience they won’t soon forget,” says Trump’s Paula Mauk, who confirms that New Je  rsey honeymooners can indeed “get away without going far away.”

Honeymooners at the Borgata tend to gravitate toward the Spa Toccare package. It includes his & her Deep Tissue or Healing Stone Massage and Wild Lime Scalp Treatment, then a Classic Manicure and Plush Pedicure for the bride, and a Signature Shave and Express Pedicure for the groom. All those upper case letters come at a price, of course, but why pinch pennies when you can experience the ultimate in marital decompression? Next door at The Water Club—home of the exquisite topfloor, two-story Immersion pool and spa—there is a couples package on the menu that may just outdo them all. Billed as a traditional retreat to luxury, it includes a Javanese Lulur bath and body ritual that transports lovebirds back to a simpler time (like the 17th century). A side-by-side Balinese massage with jasmine frangipani oils is followed up by exfoliation with tumeric, flowers and fresh yogurt before soaking in a fragrant, floral bath, and then finishing up with an application of jasmine frangipani lotion. The bath ritual is performed in a Couples Suite with unbelievable views. Also included are a poolside manicure and pedicure, and the sublime Immersion lunch, courtesy of Chef Geoffrey Zakarian. The Water Club does not offer gaming, however the concourse connecting it to The Borgata’s casino features a gauntlet of high-end retail establishments where couples can blow their wedding checks long before they reach the tables. For newlyweds looking to hang onto their dough a bit longer, there is The Chelsea, a gambling-free boutique hotel unaffiliated with its neighbors, the Hilton and Tropicana.

There are several packages popular with honeymooners checking into The Chelsea. The details and differences are all explained on the hotel’s web site, but the real story here is the wedding bed and the amazing rooms in the Luxe Tower. Think Egyptian cotton sheets, fluffy white duvet, and an endless supply of pillows. Think awe-inspiring views from a deck and sunroom featuring floor-to-ceiling windows. And while you’re at it, think about shelling out a couple of extra bills for one of the penthouse suites (it’s worth every penny). Finally, all of the Luxe Tower rooms at The Chelsea come with lots of whimsical touches to remind guests how very far away they are from the rest of us poor devils…even though they haven’t left the state.

Don’t be misled by the racy cover slugs on your favorite supermarket magazines.
Solving tricky “bedroom problems” is not the exclusive domain of sex columnists.
For countless millions of troubled couples, the answer isn’t the art of love, but the art of placement.

AHong Kong-based movie director sought to smooth his turbulent marriage by trading in his traditional king-sized bed for one with rounded corners. All in the spirit of taking the edge off the relationship. In California, parents of four daughters in their twenties painted each of their bedrooms peach, a color the Chinese associate with romance and flirtation. To ensure future wedding bells. Having trouble in your marriage? Still looking for that special someone with whom to share your life? Do you sleep like a baby—a colicky one? Are you restless when you should be resting, waking up in the morning jumpy and nervous? Do you suffer from constant headaches or stomach cramps? Before contacting your local couples counselor, sleep specialist or gastroenterologist, consider this: your bedroom might be suffering from bad feng shui.

Feng shui, the ancient Chinese art of placement, addresses the environment to achieve peace, harmony and tranquility. In a bedroom, a delicate balance must be struck between serenity and suggestiveness. Calming aspects are desirable and contribute to sweet, langorous slumber, but in a marriage or relationship, desire and intimacy also need to be stoked. We spend one-third of our lives in our bedroom, where we rest, relax and recharge our energies. No wonder that, to the modern feng shui expert, the bedroom is one of the most important areas of your home. Indeed, for thousands of years, the Chinese have believed that where you sleep will influence how you sleep—that the structure and layout of your bedroom can affect your well being. When arranging a bedroom, certain ancient Chinese principles should be employed: the flow of ch’i (which translates as “energy”), the balance of yin and yang, and the wholeness of tao (which translates as the “way of nature”). Common and uncommon sense also are invaluable. In a bedroom, to the Chinese, position is an important consideration—of the bed location, that is. Ideally the bed should be cater-corner to the room’s entrance, with a view of the door so that you can comfortably see anyone entering and not be surprised. This position is called the commanding position; it gives you a sense of control over your environment. A poorly placed bed may disrupt your sleep at night and make you edgy and unbalanced during the day. Given that the ideal bed-to-door relationship is not always possible, the best cure is to hang a mirror in a way that  reflects the door toward you as you lie in bed. In some cases, a bed lies between two opposing windows, so a draft blows continually, disturbing sleep. This can be cured by hanging wind chimes, a crystal, or light between the windows, thus symbolically disbursing the draft.

“Whether you’re looking for a little luck or just hoping

to get lucky, a little feng shui can go a long way.”

Avoid locating your bed under a load-bearing beam. If it runs down the center, it will be divisive to a married couple. One couple in Manhattan rarely slept together an entire night. The wife always got up in the middle of the night and slept in the guest bedroom. Her midnight rambling ended after they moved the bed out from underneath the beam.

Similarly, avoid having a beam running over your stomach or you may experience cramps and intestinal problems. A newer aspect to modern feng shui deals with all the senses—including lighting and tactile elements—in creating a romantic environment. While a good, bright light is fine for reading in bed, a softer light or pleasantly scented candle will enhance the romantic mood. Deep, slow music is also conducive to intimacy. In addition, silky, velvety fabrics create comfort and help fan the flames of love. Carpets that feel good under foot are preferable to hard sisals or cold wood floors.

Color also is important in a bedroom. While you should always select the colors you love, it’s worth noting that pink is best for romance. Light green and pale blue are also good, as they symbolize hope and development. And peach may be the way to go if you’re still in search of that special someone. Finally, it’s worth mentioning the importance of purging your bedroom of any keepsakes or reminders of failed relationships. Keep it positive. Flowers and happy images are far more effective at creating an atmosphere conducive to a happy connection. Indeed, whether you’re looking for a little luck or just hoping to get lucky, a little feng shui can go a long way.

Editor’s Note: Sarah Rossbach is the author of Feng Shui: The Art of Chinese Placement, which was described by The New York Times as the “bible of the practice.”

“Campos can cook. His superior technical skills are made clear through the fine chop of a tartare and the ethereal texture of a near-weightless crepe.”

Lorena’s defines intimate. You enter, through a slip of a passageway, a dining room that seats but 32. Tables are small, space between them is at a premium, but there’s never a feeling of claustrophobia. No, instead a wall of windows swathed in dark sage fabric expands the diminutive space. Large, brightly colored paintings bring joy and festivity to the scene. Not that Lorena’s needs any help infusing happiness into the world. It’s a love story, an ode from chef Humberto Campos, Jr. to Lorena Perez, the woman who inspired the restaurant that has, in spite of its size, anchored a particularly chic stretch of downtown Maplewood for almost five years. The romance of this husband-wife team plays out every night dinner is served, with Lorena gracefully orchestrating the doings of the dining room, while Humberto works a kitchen fitted with fewer accoutrements than offered in most suburban McMansions. This is one of those fairy-tale ending restaurants: Boy meets girl, boy and girl share a dream, boy and girl make the dreams of couples looking to celebrate special nights come true as a matter of course. You’d spend your dinner here sighing under the spell of this story if the food didn’t interrupt your revelry.

And the food is pure pleasure. Campos can cook. His superior technical skills are made clear through the fine chop of a tartare and the ethereal texture of a near-weightless crepe. His ability to let an ingredient strut its stuff is evident in the perfectly cooked simplicity of a piece of cod set against a backdrop of humble lentils. His quiet confidence is on display in an elegant cup of divine, unadorned ice cream. Fuss happens in the selection of those ingredients, in the focus on prep, in the concentration it takes to turn from pan to plate an exquisite composition that never befuddles the diner. All the while Lorena Perez is quietly orbiting the dining room—directing a floor crew that misses not a dropped napkin, a dirtied knife or a subtle cue from a table ready to move on to the next course—Campos is mirroring his wife’s front-of-the-house grace in his compact kitchen. The French-influenced, modern American fare quickly becomes the topic of conversation at the tables. The briskness of sake and the punch of wasabi are almost elusive in a starter of raw Scottish salmon chopped as fine as an infant’s fingernail, then punctuated by pops of tobiko and served with a wisp of crème fraiche and a crisp, fried wonton.

The Far East gets a visit from the Continent, and they reach an accord. Campos gives a similar twist to homemade cavatelli, tossing the pasta with shreds of duck so tender, so inherently rich, that it mimics confit, then adds the crunch of blanched snow peas to the mix along with a sprinkling of sharp sheep’s milk cheese. That crepe may look weak-kneed, but it’s got the strength to hold ample jumbo-lump crab—shellfish so sweet that you understand immediately why the chef sought balance with earthy wild mushrooms. Given a swirl of puréed herbs, the first-course dish charms. The cod made me jealous. Sure, Campos secured an extra thick center cut of the fish. He has at his disposal an amped-up, professional stove that rocks at higher temperatures than mine. He probably doesn’t hold back when doling out butter, either. I’d cooked cod at my home the night before and Campos’s version made me want to enter culinary school at the nursery level. Remedial class. This cod, with its barely cooked interior and lightly seared edges, found soulmates in French lentils, pert and forest green, and an all-luxe parsnip purée. It was a plate composed of nothing but accomplished elements.

Wild-caught Arctic char kept pace. A lot like salmon, a little like trout, char isn’t often seen wild in these parts. Campos treats the rare find right, partnering it with wild rice, zesty and bold pickled red onion, then adds dried fruits as a backdrop. Though it may not remain on the menu as Lorena’s shifts through spring into foods more suitable for warmer weather, the short ribs are a classic to revisit as soon as the temperatures again suit. Resolutely beefy and tender, they’re riddled with caramelized onion, sided by an uber-buttery purée of potatoes and given a shot in the arm by riffs of Roquefort, a potent cheese that actually tamps down the richness of the dish. My friends sniffed when I ordered the bread pudding for dessert. Such a sophisticated, polished restaurant. So much romance in the air. Why go boarding school at a time like this? Because, they soon learned, Campos starts with eggy-yet-airy brioche, moistens it with banana, gives it the kick of peanut butter (of all things), then finishes the very grand finale with maple-licked caramel sauce and vanilla ice cream. There’ll be competition over this one. As well as for the precise warm chocolate cake, a compact disc that wasn’t a smidgen too sweet and took a serious likin g to an accompanying swirl of raspberry purée. I took a liking to the homemade ice creams, and appreciated the sheer correctness of the chocolate ice cream and the intense citrus flavor in the orange sorbet. You don’t need to hit a diner over the head with frills and frou-frou to impress.

Which sums up Lorena’s, where the food and the scene are all heart.

Keeping a marriage on track takes hard work and an open mind. The obstacles are unrelenting. The rewards sometimes seem few and far between. Money, job stress, child rearing and personal growth (or lack thereof) are among the big-picture challenges. Just as vexing are all the little conflicts that must be resolved merely to stay focused on moving the relationship forward. Then one day you wake up, look at your mate and wonder, “Do I really know this person?” Or worse, “Do I really know myself?” The good news is that successful couples find a way to muddle through and come out stronger on the other side. As a rule, they learn to divide their stress load as time and circumstances dictate. However, they make sure to deal with the “big stuff” as a team. This strategy is vitally important when facing the health issues that crop up as couples age. Almost every family will have to deal with a major illness at some point. How couples get through it can depend as much on their teamwork as it does on their doctors. That is why the medical field is placing increasing emphasis on providing the highest quality information and support to patient and spouse long before the physical healing process even begins.

“Patients’ emotional stability is as important as their physical well being, which is why—if and when possible—they should embark on this journey with their significant other,” says Alan P. Krieger, MD, whose patients include men undergoing prostate cancer treatment. “Couples should absolutely go through the initial steps together. Both need to understand what’s going to happen, and that works best when the doctor is able to meet both patient and partner.” Indeed, where once spouses were spared the unpleasant details of a surgical procedure—and as a result were unprepared to deal with the aftermath—now full disclosure is a crucial part of recovery.

That begins with understanding the options. For instance, most people understand that hysterectomies are performed for several reasons (ranging from unusual conditions such as ovarian carcinoma to something relatively common, such as irregular bleeding or pelvic pain). Yet they have no idea how many ways this procedure can be performed. At Trinitas Regional Medical Center, many operations—including prostate surgery and hysterectomies—are now done with the da Vinci robotic surgical system. “Good vision and maneuverability translates into more precision and a faster recovery for the patient,” says Kamran Khazaei, MD, FACOG. “The da Vinci lets surgeons see in high-definition. And by using the robotic arms with both hands, we are able to perform very delicate procedures. In many cases where patients used to need four or five days to recover, they are walking and eating the next day. In the more aggressive surgeries, recovery has been reduced from weeks to days.”

Not all cases can be addressed robotically, Khazaei cautions, ovarian cancer being one example. Likewise, not all options involve surgery. “You have to cater to each patient individually,” he says. “With medications. Injections. Therapy. As physicians, our job is to treat our patients in the least invasive way possible.” “In issues related to menopause,” he adds, “we are sensitive to the fact that women experience it, but also that men deal with it. We look for ways to keep both parties sane.” Sanity also comes into play with another medical issue that has become increasingly common among couples: Obesity. The patients treated by Joao A. Lopes, MD, and Muhammad S. Feteiha, MD, FACS, often are at the end of their rope. After years of yo-yo dieting and deteriorating health, they want to discuss a surgical option, either a gastric bypass or a gastric band. Lopes can quote the statistics on both procedures chapter and verse. Bypass patients achieve around 80 percent of the weight they anticipated losing, while band patients drop about 40 percent. That easily outweighs the option of doing nothing.

Those who fail to address their obesity in a substantial way (through diet, exercise, surgery or a combination of the three) are 300 times more likely to die 15 years earlier than people who keep their weight under control. The number that impresses Lopes most, however, is that more than 70 percent of the patients he sees come in as couples. “Success depends greatly on the understanding and support of partners and spouses,” he says. “It helps tremendously to have someone encouraging your new lifestyle, exercising with you and taking part in the process. A husband or wife must take part in their new eating behavior and move toward healthier types of foods.” As with most medical procedures, sorting through the options as a couple is the first step in a successful outcome. In the case of a band or bypass, knowing what has to happen afterwards is just as crucial. “Bariatric surgery patients really have to understand the new diet and what they’re getting into in terms of the process after surgery,” says Lopes. “The support of a spouse is tremendous, and we have a bariatric coordinator here in the office to help. Basically, we get through it together.” To help support his recovering patients, Dr. Krieger actually started the first New Jersey chapter of Us TOO, which counsels prostate cancer survivors and their partners. “My main goal is to cure the cancer,” he says, “but a key part of the recovery is for couples to know how they can work together to improve their lives and their relationship.”

 Editor’s Note: Rachel Rutledge is EDGE’s ace Editorial Assistant. Lisa Milbrand, who usually writes our Healthy Edge feature, conducted the interviews for  this story.

New Jerseyans will argue endlessly about who prepares the finest seafood, grills the best veal chop, rolls the best sushi and spins the best pizza. One of the few things we can agree on is who makes the best wedding cakes—not just in the Garden State, but possibly in the world. BUDDY VALASTRO is the Cake Boss.

The Hoboken maestro has transformed Carlo’s Bakery from a neighborhood treasure into an international institution with a little help from cable network TLC. With two seasons under its belt, Cake Boss claims millions of viewers and is one of the most popular shows in the TLC lineup. EDGE caught up with Buddy in Los Angeles, where he was filming summer promos for the network. It’s a rare day when he’s not running the show at Carlo’s. He’s been the boss since he followed in his father’s footsteps at the age of 17.

EDGE: What is the secret to creating a great wedding cake?

BV: My success has always come from listening to the bride, to the mom, or whoever has input on the cake. I ask a lot of questions. What’s the season? What’s the theme? What’s on the menu? What type of flowers? What do the invitations look like? Can I see the wedding dress? Once I see all that, I can make decisions about the direction I want to go in. Of course, it’s got to be delicious and it’s got to be something out of the ordinary. I always have to come up with new things.

EDGE: Is it mom or daughter that does the deciding?

BV: Either the mom is in charge of the whole thing, or the daughter will say, “Shut up, it’s my wedding and we’re doing it my way.” It’s about fifty-fifty.

EDGE: What percentage of your clients come to you with a clear idea of what they want, as opposed to your having to nudge them in one direction or another?

BV: I would say sixty-five percent you’ve got to nudge. Thirty-five percent know.

EDGE: Should brides-to-be come armed with pictures of what they want?

BV: It helps to do your homework. Look through bridal magazines and surf the Internet for ideas. You might pick out a cake that only needs to have a couple of things changed on it. As a rule, the more input you give your baker, the easier it is to get a great cake. Also, do your homework on the baker. Check out their track record. Ask how they are going to deliver the cake. Do they have a refrigerated truck, or are they gonna throw it in the back of a Toyota?

EDGE: How much physics and engineering is involved in building a multi-tiered cake? Is there a height above which you can’t go?

BV: If it’s a tiered cake, no. Gravity comes into play when there is an elaborate sculpture. Sometimes that can be problematic. But a regular tiered cake is no problem. For the boarding in between we use a special type of Masonite instead of cardboard. We use plastic tubes between the tiers. Years ago, I decided I just didn’t want to “fix” cakes anymore. I devised a system, and now, structurally, my cakes are second to none. I’d rather spend a little extra money and a little extra time to know they’re going to get through the wedding okay.

EDGE: Is there a wedding cake the Cake Boss won’t do?

BV: I try not to back down from a challenge, so we don’t say no too often. However, sometimes you get a client and you know they’re going to be really difficult. Some people you aren’t going to make happy no matter what you do, so you have to be big enough to understand and accept that. In those cases, I’m likely to say I don’t have the availability to do the cake.

EDGE: Okay, is there a wedding cake you can’t do—one that’s physically impossible?

BV: Not for the Cake Boss. You say it can’t be done? Hey, that’s what we do.

EDGE: I’m picturing a cake in the shape of the bride and groom—sort of like the topper on a cake becomes the cake itself.

BV: We’ve done a lot of modeling on wedding cakes, but never anything like that. But hey, if you pay, I’ll play!

EDGE: When you start a cake, do you know exactly how it’s going to turn out?

BV: Yes. I can close my eyes and picture what it’s going to look like. Very few times does that vision fail. That comes with experience. I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve done thousands and thousands of wedding cakes. In the beginning, when I was learning, I’d experiment with different techniques. I might have to redo the same cake ten times. Eventually, I learned how to get a cake exactly how I wanted it the first time.

EDGE: Every time a Cake Boss episode airs, thousands of people say I could do that or I want to do that. How long before someone can turn out a decent wedding cake? What’s involved in working your way up the top?

BV: I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve done it my whole life; I can do it blindfolded. That makes me a bad example, because when I do it, it looks easy. It takes at least a couple of years of doing fifty wedding cakes a week to where you feel you can do anything. To get to the caliber of cakes that I make, you’re talking five to ten years. And we do anywhere from sixty to eighty wedding cakes a week.

EDGE: Does that guarantee they’ll be great wedding cake makers?

BV: To be honest, there are people who are artistic and, conceptually, they can do it. They could take a cake that’s iced and stacked and do beautiful things with it. But they don’t know how to ice and stack it. You have to be able to do the whole thing.

EDGE: And baking’s hardly a “feel” profession.

BV: No, it’s not. Baking is a science. It’s a science.

EDGE: Is it a challenge being a Hoboken institution and a national television personality?

BV: I’ve never forgotten who I am or where I came from. I feel bad for my local patrons who can’t get in the bakery as easily now. So I’m working on that. And I feel bad for my fans, who can’t get my cakes because I work in New Jersey. I’m working on that too.

Dispatches from the Dating Front

The facts are irrefutable. The numbers are alarming. The statistics are startling, surprising, and just a little depressing. By  now you realize that I am not referring to the unemployment rate, the housing market, or the New Jersey Nets’ 2009–10 record. No, I am talking about dating. And specifically, dating post-30-something when, as the old saying goes, you’re more likely to be kidnapped by terrorists than find Mr. Right. Dating takes guts, and it is much easier to exit than to enter. If you don’t believe it, try these three numbers on for size—50, 3, 3 and 5. Around 50 percent of American singles have not been on a real date in more than two years. Human beings typically decide whether someone’s attractive within 3 seconds of meeting them. And the most common time for breakups is between 3 and 5 months into a relationship. Whether you’re newly unattached or, like me, a lifelong single, the odds may seem stacked against you. However, who’s to say you can’t tilt those odds in your favor? To do so, it helps to have a little clarity about what is—and is not—happening out there on the adult dating scene.

THE BASICS
You’ve probably heard these words of wisdom before, but they bear repeating. According to the most recent study I could find, instant dating turn-offs are bad breath, bad teeth and body odor. Followed closely by hair mistakes, raggedy nails, missing teeth, hairy nostrils, burping, flatulence, and goofy glasses. This goes for the guys and the girls—no joke! If you manage to make it past those harrowing first three seconds, remember not to talk too much about yourself or your ex, don’t bring up marriage too soon, and don’t appear to be an overeager beaver. Body language speaks volumes, so uncross your arms.

Look your date in the eyes, and gaze and hold that look a little bit longer than normal. Create an instant link to a person, and say his or her name at least twice during a conversation. Look for clues that your date is interested, and remember bits of information about a person and work that information back into the conversation. Happiness is contagious and hard to walk away from. So try to relax. Don’t worry. Be happy. In terms of gender specifics, remember that a large  majority of men are not confident meeting a woman for the first time. As a rule, men are put off by groups of loud women. So ladies, help these poor guys out and break away from the crowd. And please, help with the conversation. At the same time, avoid clinging, fishing for compliments, serial flirting, being a party girl or a drama queen. Men, stand up straight before you even utter a word—slouching gives a woman a negative first impression. Also, if you cannot decide what to wear on a date, go with blue. Studies confirm women are attracted to men in blue.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
We all know how important it is to be in the right place at the right time. Indeed, among the best places to meet other people and do some initial flirting are classes, coffee shops, gyms and shopping malls. And despite what you’ve heard, office romances have a surprisingly good track record, too. Four out of 10 result in marriage. Don’t ask about the other six. No longer taboo, no longer not talked-about, and no longer not admitted to is online dating. In fact, the online dating industry rakes in close to $2 billion dollars annually. Matchmakers and dating coaches pull in another $260 million. Goes to show you, there are a lot of people looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. Right on. The drawback of going cyber, of course, is that what you see isn’t always what you get. Statistically speaking, a woman’s biggest fear in the online dating world is meeting a serial killer. For men it is meeting someone fat. To the men I say hey, prioritize! To the women I say that only three percent of men are technically psychopaths, so the odds are with you until about the 33rd online date. Italian restaurants are the most popular on a first date. Hello—who doesn’t like pasta and pizza? Most people will kiss on the second date and consider themselves in a relationship after six to eight dates. Women feel it is appropriate to get intimate after a month, or two or three. Men feel it is okay on the third date, which also happens to be the recommended time to wait until cooking someone dinner at home. Interesting.

WAR STORIES
What do the boots-on-the-ground people have to say about New Jersey’s 30-to-50 dating scene? I convinced five friends to recount some recent experiences. Admittedly, it’s too small a sample to be scientific. But I think it’s a fairly accurate picture of who’s out there and how they’re doing.

LINDA
She doesn’t need a reason to celebrate, but a good date is cause for celebration. Linda likes to go out and have fun, and dating is a night out. The way she sees it, a night out—good or bad—is never that bad. “I go out every weekend with this frame of mind,” she says. “I am out to have fun and if I meet someone, great. If not, I am still going to have fun.” Linda has rolled the dice on the Internet dating site, Match.com. “I had what I thought were two great first dates, but both turned out to be total busts. All they were looking for was a physical relationship—on the first date. One guy lived in a boarding house in Belmar and ranted on and on about how much he hated his family. I thought about calling 911.”

DAVE
He’s 39 years young and the most fun guy I know. Dave has sworn off blind dates—they just don’t work, he says. Dave meets many of his dates in bars, where he can make the corniest opening lines sound like Shakespeare sonnets. He also finds Facebook to be productive. First dates are usually dinner, and Dave always pays. “I have found some old flames on Facebook and a lot of new ones, too,” he says. “I also meet a lot of people at weddings, but the younger women kind of get misty-eyed watching the bride. I smell commitment and usually run.”

HANNAH
She was married, a mother, and divorced before turning 30. The years leading up to and after Hannah’s divorce were trying, both emotionally and physically, and when she decided to get back into the dating game it wasn’t as simple as she thought. After many miserable and insufferable dates (almost all the results of set-ups), she tried Match.com and had substantially better luck than Linda. “I knew right away Victor was the one,” she says, sounding almost like a commercial. “We clicked. Our first date was coffee. We saw each other often after our first date, and very soon after we became inseparable.” Hannah and Victor, both in their 40s now, just celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary.

ROB
He’s what Jersey Girls call an Italian Stallion. Rob is a player—funny, smart, athletic, handsome, curious and, with some notable exceptions, fairly adept at juggling multiple dates. Suffice it to say that a glass of wine tossed in the face, a lap full of spaghetti, and getting his sports car keyed are not rare occurrences for Rob. Still, he lives and dates by a strict code. “I never let anyone I date see, hear, or know about others,” he says. “I don’t flaunt it and I am sensitive about it. Humor, discretion and comfort are very important.”

DANIELLE
She has to be the hardest working person I know, and she admits that dating isn’t easy. At 41, Danielle wonders if she will ever marry. Actually, she wonders if she will even date. “Believe me, I have tried. I am going on a singles cruise in a few months, and although I am not looking, it doesn’t mean I won’t look.”

Dating isn’t meant to be, nor should it be, a military campaign. I remember most of my dates, and yes, there are some I would love to forget. Like the time my date and I shared a dinner table with his friend and his friend’s girlfriend one Labor Day weekend. This couple argued throughout the entire meal. Finally, my date asked them to calm down. The other woman threw a drink in his face, he got angry, and then his friend punched him in the face and broke his nose. We spent the evening in the emergency room. I guess, in this case, love really was a battlefield. Most of my dates haven’t been catastrophes. My best, my favorite, and the date I still remember with longing and nostalgia, consisted of a long bike ride around the park, a messy soft-serve vanilla cone, a dinner of pizza and Pepsi, and watching a sky full of fireworks. Sparks flew that night. They certainly did.

Editor’s Note: In researching this story, Diane explored the worlds of dating “events.” Log onto edgemagonline.com to read an extended version of Love Is a Battlefield and get her take on Lock N Key and 7 in Heaven.

A day together in the kitchen can be great couples therapy. Or a recipe for disaster.

Couples searching for something to do together frequently settle for spending a few hours at a nice restaurant. By definition, this serves the purpose—they’re doing something and they’re together. So why, after they pay the bill and argue about whether the tip was adequate (and was that last Sambuca really necessary?), does the sense of isolation remain?  Because
they haven’t really “done” anything; the experience was essentially passive. Now, if they were to cook the dinner together, they might enjoy being creative and productive, working toward a common, pleasurable goal. Assuming, of course, that no one gets sick afterward. First, let’s establish some ground rules. These evolve from my thirty years of marriage (no reprieve in sight) and almost that many years as a professional chef.

They don’t apply when one of the partners has serious cooking experience and the other doesn’t. Habits developed in restaurant kitchens die hard, and never remembering to turn off the burners can be a problem. Unless you both think liverwurst on rye with onions constitutes dinner, you should begin planning your menu at least a week ahead. Write it all down. No unilateral last minute changes. (“Uh, I thought we could throw a couple of habaneros in the stuffing.”) Start a notebook. Keep track of your meals à deux. If you’re really into it, take some pictures. Don’t keep insisting on foods that make him break out in hives. He may be a Neanderthal, but he’ll get the message eventually. Settle on how, as well as what, you want to make. “What? My mother always put cream of mushroom soup in the sauce. I suppose that’s not good enough for you?”

Avoid including Mom’s, or Nonna Esmeralda’s or Tanta Rifka’s specialties. Avoid tricky, last-minute preparations. No hollandaise, no soufflés, no deep-frying, no molten chocolate cakes. Pick a make-ahead first course. A salad or a soup would be perfect, and believe me, if you think making a great soup is too easy, you’ve never made one. Put together a platter of antipasto, and remember to take it out of the fridge an hour or two before you eat, so the cheese doesn’t taste like polystyrene.

For a main course, roast a leg of lamb, or do a baked pasta, or a casserole. Forget the veal piccata for now. And if neither of you can wield a carving knife properly, cook something that doesn’t require a surgeon’s touch. Watching him wrestle with a roast chicken, or, worse, a roast duck, will lead to merriment (yours) and resentment (his). If neither of you can bake…don’t bake. Baking is unforgiving. Many professional chefs dislike the weighing and measuring and fussing. Learn a foolproof recipe for tiramisu or a fruit cobbler and make it the day before. This isn’t a cooking show, and you don’t get extra points for creativity. Simple and successful is the goal. Just in case, have a couple of pints of ice cream in the freezer. Shop the day before, if possible.

Have some alternatives in mind, just in case all the asparagus is yellowish and limp, or your grocery is out of pancetta. Make sure you have all of the equipment you need. This is a good time to invest in a decent chef’s knife, or an enameled cast-iron casserole, or even a good pair of tongs. Looking for a pastry bag in the local drugstore on a Saturday night is a total bummer. Establish a timeline. Candles and cut flowers are optional, but leave enough time that you can shower and change. If one (or both) of you smells stronger than the cheese, you’re not going to enjoy dinner. Take it easy on the cocktails and keep them simple. A bottle of wine, maybe two, is fine. Three strawberry mojitos before dinner is just wrong. And don’t hurry. No one’s waiting for your table. Enjoy eating what you’ve cooked, and compliment each other’s efforts. Save the competitive juices for the tennis court. Is there one unbreakable rule? Yes, and it may not be an obvious one. Scrub the cookware; empty the dishwasher; wipe down the counters; take out the garbage. Before you eat.

The whole exercise is pointless if you come down for breakfast and there’s a heap of greasy pots in the sink and the house smells like garlic. The concept is to eat dinner and then follow your fancies. Or your fantasies. Ever met anyone whose fantasy life revolves around unclogging the garbage disposal the morning after? Many of us spend our days tapping away on lifeless little plastic squares. A day spent together in the kitchen provides contact with the textures and colors of nature. We get our hands dirty, and maintain the focus needed to work safely with hot pans and sharp knives. With a little forethought, you might have a pleasant afternoon followed by a memorable meal. After all, feeding and being fed by another person is an act of—almost—unrivaled intimacy.

The state’s public schools are coping with shrinking budgets and teacher layoffs. Many parents are asking: ‘So what’s the deal with private schools?’

Say what you will about New Jerseyans. Compared to the average American, we are pretty darn smart. The numbers don’t lie. Our children consistently score at or near the top of the national rankings for math, reading, writing, standardized tests and  percentage of high-school grads headed to college. Some have observed that college students represent the state’s number-one export. As a people and as a state, in good times and bad, we spend a ton of money on K-thru-12 education. So how come we’re so clueless when it comes to choosing between public and private schools? Almost every parent agonizes over this  choice at one time or another. We weigh every variable, examine each statistic, poll our friends, and attempt to reconcile this information with our family and cultural values. Then figure out what we can and cannot afford. These are not simple  calculations. Ultimately, we go with our gut…and hope we’ve made the right decision. Statistically, the case for public education in New Jersey is a strong one (see sidebar). In addition, the state’s public schools hold the promise of a more realistic and representative preview of life, bringing together young people from different cultural and economic  backgrounds, with a wide range of academic capabilities and learning skills. Public schools also tend to have more competitive sports programs and, in the case of New Jersey’s magnet schools, focused educational tracts for high-achieving
students—from Engineering to Communications to Marine Sciences. Intellectually, we know that private schools tend to offer a number of advantages, including spiffier amenities and traditions of high achievement. Most of these are linked to the fact that private schools do not receive tax dollars, and thus are free from the vagaries of state policy-makers and budget woes, like the one we’re in right now. Private schools are free, so to speak, to do as they please—or, more to the point, to do as parents please.

A SENSE OF COMMUNITY
What bang do private-school parents expect for their tuition buck? For many families, the decision is all about college; the sooner they “mainstream” their kids, the better the university they are likely to attend. For others, the pull of going private is the extra attention that they believe will be (and typically is) lavished upon their offspring. And, of course, for some families, a driving force behind writing that big tuition check is the belief that it will open up all kinds of new social opportunities. Elizabeth O’Mara, Director of Strategic Marketing & Communications at Far Hills Country Day School, views the social  component of a private school experience through a different prism. It is an outgrowth of what she considers to be one of the key advantages of going private: an understanding of the partnership between school and home. “The school becomes the neighborhood for many of our families,” O’Mara says. “We have a community where parents are encouraged to get involved in the classroom and out. We think of our parents as partners. We value inclusion, and we ask parents and faculty to model that for our students.” Chad Small, Headmaster of Rumson Country Day School, has worked as a teacher and administrator in both sectors. He points out an inherent strength in this sense of community. “Families have chosen us and want to work with us,” explains Small. “If they don’t like us, or we don’t like them, it’s ‘See you later.’ That enables us to develop a core
sense of values we can pursue, in our case Kind, Honest, Respectful and Responsible.”

IT’S ACADEMIC
For those able to wangle the added cost of a private education, the benefits to the family as a whole are secondary to the advantages awaiting the individual student. That being said, the job of private schools is not to spin straw into gold. Rather, it is to maximize a child’s academic opportunities and challenges. To the naked eye, the greatest difference between private and
public education in New Jersey is class size. In this case, looks definitely are not deceiving. Every administrator contacted for this story ranked the smaller class sizes in their schools at or near the top of the list when asked about key points of differentiation. Obviously, this translates into more “teacher time” per student. But what does that mean exactly? In most cases, it gives schools the flexibility to recognize the different ways kids learn and achieve excellence. For schools that begin in kindergarten, it also translates into a formal plan for social and emotional learning, which is designed to create a stronger academic foundation, as well as opportunities for leadership. The goal is to turn out a child who is self-reliant, flexible and confident both in and out of school. Directly and indirectly, this is actually where a high percentage of tuition dollars go. Because its curriculum is not mandated by any legislative body, a private school can aim as high as it wants in terms of the type and quality of education it offers. It can be more rigorous, offering courses  such as Latin and Language Arts to grade-schoolers. It is also free to make course alterations when new research compels it to. Unlike public schools, private schools must continuously strive to improve. If they don’t, they risk going out of business.

NARROWING THE FIELD
Among the many private education choices in New Jersey are myriad schools with some type of religious affiliation, and also single-gender schools. Both have an added element of “mystery” for prospective parents, particularly if they did not attend these types of schools themselves. In terms of size, quality and cost, faith-affiliated schools (for lack of a better catch-all term) run the gamut. Many of these institutions also happen to be single-gender, such as highly regarded Mount Saint Mary in Watchung and Oak Knoll School of the Holy Child, which is located in Summit, both of which are all-girls. Needless to say, the perceived benefit of a religious school is the attention given to a student’s spiritual development. For some families, this is a primary concern when choosing a private school. To others, it’s an afterthought. Timothy Saburn, Head of School at Oak Knoll, sees spiritual development as part of the bigger picture of community. “It’s an important aspect of a successful school today, whether independent, public or otherwise,” he maintains. “Our school culture and program foster a sense of community, which is grounded in our spiritual commitment.” Does that hold true even when a student happens to adhere
to a faith other than the one with which a school is affiliated? Donna Toryak, Admissions Director at Mount Saint Mary
Academy, insists that it does. “The values, code of ethics, discipline and spirituality are universal features that attract
the applicants,” she says. “The faith journey of each student is enriched no matter what the practice of venerating their
own God.” In terms of the gender question, Saburn cites a 2009 UCLA study. It suggests that graduates of girls’ secondary schools have a definite edge over their co-ed peers. “This current research validates, and Oak Knoll proves,” he says, “that
young women in a single-sex learning environment are setting high educational goals, breaking gender barriers, and emerging as leaders. Our young women graduate with a sense of purpose and much promise; they have found their voices and are committed to making their marks in the world.” Finally, at the top of the private-education food chain in New
Jersey are its boarding schools, including world-class institutions such as Peddie, Blair and Lawrenceville. The decision to send one’s child off to boarding school—and how to pick the right one—is an article unto itself. For the purposes of this story, suffice it to say that for families leaning toward boarding school as a high-school option, the Garden State offers some superb options for those who don’t care to schlep to Massachusetts.

STARTING EARLY, FINISHING STRONG
For many families weighing the pros and cons of going private, decision time can come prior to first grade. More than 50,000 children each year are enrolled in private-school pre-K programs in New Jersey. The number of six year olds in private schools drops to around 15,000. From there the enrollment numbers dwindle by a few hundred a year until ninth grade, when there is a jump back up over 15,000. Families sending their public middle schoolers to private day schools and boarding schools account for some of this bump. However, in any given school year, a recent study showed, as many as one in five families is moving a child from public to private, or private to public, so it’s a fluid situation to say the least. What  happens after high school? For private-school educators and parents, this is where the rubber meets the road. For the  overwhelming majority of kids in private secondary education, college is not just an option. It is the next thing they will do. Will the same kid get into a better college as a private-school senior or a public-school senior? The answer honestly depends on the kid as much as the type of school. However, where private schools offer a clear advantage is in the college advisory and application process. There simply is no comparison. Students enrolled at private schools in almost all cases receive much better preparation for their college years.

According to Toryak, this is a result of several factors. “They are surrounded by classmates with similar values with regard to education and their future,” she points out. “They are success- and goal-oriented, and focus on their current situation as a stepping stone to the college years ahead.” Toryak adds that, because most private high schools have established communications and relationships with colleges, their counselors are better at helping students navigate what has become an increasingly tricky acceptance process. Willard Taylor Jr., Director of Admissions at Newark Academy, believes that private schools are also equipped to determine the “best fit” for students when it comes time to narrowing down their college choices. In terms of the commonly held belief that a top school “automatically” gets kids into a top college, he insists that strong students take care of that themselves. “What an independent school will do,” Taylor says, echoing the thoughts of his peers, “is give a student the opportunity to stand out…to participate and perform at a high level academically, athletically, and in the arts.” EDGE

Editor’s Note: Mark Stewart has two teenage daughters. One opted for public education, the other for private. Both attended a private day school through eighth grade.

Let’s put it right out there: APRIL SEMMEL may be TV’s most unlikely domestic diva. She serves as the fulcrum of FOUR KID FRENZY, the first episode of which aired this May on the Style Network. The parent of four-year-old triplets Andrew,  Ashley and Brianna—and a precocious six-year-old named Brandon—April lives in Robbinsville, New Jersey, with her husband Joel. Their living space is overrun with toys and school projects; kitchen counters overflow with papers, sippy cups, pullups, and juice boxes. The family van is a rolling disaster area.

The Semmels were one of four families featured on a 2009 TV pilot entitled Multiple Mayhem. The series wasn’t picked up, but April and her brood were plucked from obscurity for this Style Network docu-soap. She and Joel have known each other since they were teenagers. That’s good, because the foundation they built together is tested on almost an hourly basis. EDGE caught up with April between her full-time job  running a daycare center and her other fulltime job cooking, cleaning, and wrangling four rambunctious children.

EDGE: What was your reaction when you were told that the Style Network wanted to feature you in your own show?

AS: I was shocked. I have a cluttered house. I have mounds of laundry to do. I’m lucky if I get to vacuum once a week. People ask me, “How could you admit that?” Well, it’s true!

EDGE: Did you see yourself as a TV star?

AS: My cousin did. When my family saw the Multiple Mayhem pilot, they were hysterical, and she said, “You should have your own show.” I started cracking up. Yeah right! And not long after that we got the call.

EDGE: It’s one thing to want to be on TV. It’s another to actually read and sign that release. What was it that convinced you and Joel to open up your lives to a television crew?

AS: Everybody has a private side to them, but I’m pretty much an open book. I felt like I had nothing to hide. Nobody’s perfect, and if anyone exemplifies that idea it would have to be me. Our thought was that this will give the world a look at what it’s really like. We also looked at it as creating a keepsake. We don’t record our life with a video camera, so the idea of someone following us around filming was appealing. Our kids love looking at pictures of themselves, so I figured this would be something they could look back on. So to us, this is about capturing a memory.

EDGE: How do you prepare your kids to be in a television show?

AS: You don’t. This is it, this is us, what you see is what you get. I didn’t want anything phony. We’re not those people who demand their kids act properly in public. They’re kids. That’s the beauty of children. You never know what to expect; you never know what will come out of their mouths. And my kids have no trouble acting like themselves, so you see all the tantrums and the breakdowns.

EDGE: What is one of the plusses of allowing a film crew in your home?

AS: When it’s your life, you don’t think about how interesting or inspiring your story might be. Now there are times when
we’re filming that I do think how, in just getting though the day, we might be inspiring to other people. You don’t realize
how many lives you can touch.

EDGE: What is one of the minuses?

AS: You know those dreams where you go to school and
suddenly you realize you’re naked? Sometimes you have those moments with a film crew in your home.

EDGE: Your family has multiple births on both sides, so you had to be somewhat prepared for coping with the triplets when they arrived. That being said, what were the things that surprised you?

AS: When the triplets were born, I planned to go back to work right away. I soon came to realize that, if I had gone back to work, daycare for Brendan and his three siblings would have cost us sixty-k. Who can do that? It’s impossible! So when you hear people say it doesn’t pay to work, it’s true. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to work. And I’ve always been a workaholic. So that was hard for me.

EDGE: Anything else?

AS: Yes. On the show you see that we live in a townhouse and I’m always like, “Where are they?” They’re on this floor, they’re on that floor. Now I see the beauty of a ranch house, where everything’s on one floor.

EDGE: In Multiple Mayhem, you tried to put the kids on tethers. How did that work out?

AS: The first time we used the “leashes” was Halloween. Oh my God! It was a disaster! One wanted to go to this house, another wanted to go to that house, one wanted to stop and go through the bag. It was hysterical. It was like every comic routine you could think of. Of course, now they put it on themselves, and say, “Look I’m a puppy!”

EDGE: Do they still tend to run in four different directions when you go out?

AS: Yeah, but not as often. They’re explorers. And they’re definitely strong-willed, just like me. Now that the triplets have had a year of daycare, however, they understand rules a little better.

EDGE: Yet we see in this show that the four kids are very different.

AS: Isn’t it amazing how they all have different personalities? Brandon is very advanced and he is very independent. He can do a lot of things on his own. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that he’s only six. Andrew is the inquisitive one. He always has to figure out how something works. He’s always taking something apart and putting it back together. Brianna is the sly one. If she has to do something she doesn’t like, she’ll pretend she’s sleeping, or that she didn’t hear you. Ashley is my little diva princess. She wants it now! What’s great on the show is watching their interactions.

EDGE: When you compare notes with parents of other triplets, how do you find that your experience differs?

AS: When you have a child already, and then you have multiples, I think it’s different. You’ve gone through your anxiety with your first child. You’re more relaxed. When I was pregnant with Brandon, I thought it would be nice to have twins—a girl and a boy—and get it over with. But once he was born I was like, “Thank God there’s just one!” It’s so much work! After that, when we had the sonogram and heard the three heartbeats, Joel and I said, “We can do this.” And we did; we got better at it. We are actually on time more often with four kids than we were when we only had one.

EDGE: What percentage of the child-rearing does Joel contribute?

AS: Raising multiples takes teamwork, but the reality is that in any parenting situation someone ends up giving more—even if it’s 51–49—on any given day. Like, when I have to work on a Saturday and Joel gets all four kids.

EDGE: How much does he age during that one day?

AS: It’s funny. We look at pictures of him from before the triplets were born and I say, “You had a lot more hair!” Even so, Joel looks at other families and just can’t understand those fathers who don’t want to be involved with their kids. He’s fully into it. Do we agree on everything? Absolutely not. Anyone who says they do is lying.

EDGE: A lot of dads draw a line in the sand and say, “I’m just not doing that.” Does that line exist in your home?

AS: I’d say that line was obliterated a long time ago. I don’t think we could survive with that line.

EDGE: What has your experience with fame taught you?

AS: That it’s fleeting. In this economy, we’ve seen people who seemed to have it all lose everything. Being true to yourself, doing what you like to do—that’s the richest reward you can have.

EDGE: Moms will be riveted by Four Kid Frenzy. The question is, what can husbands learn from watching this show?

AS: The importance of teamwork. And also keeping the big picture in mind. Find a way to work with your wife, find balance in your life, and never ever lose sight of what you’re working towards.

A Dozen Dazzling Places to Say ‘I Do’

Toss out your bridal magazines. Delete those online wedding bookmarks. Tell your party planner to take a walk. This is New Jersey! If you’re in the market for an unforgettable wedding, you’re already in the right place. You just have to know where to go. I’m not talking Weird New Jersey here. On the contrary, every venue on this list lends itself wonderfully to traditional ceremonies and receptions. That being said, if you are looking for something simple, special, lo-tech or alternative, you can also count on these places to shine under virtually any circumstances. Finally, don’t fret if you’ve never heard of these nuptial hot spots. Each, in its own way, is one of the state’s best-kept wedding secrets.

The Great Outdoors
These wedding venues take advantage
of New Jersey’s awesome natural beauty.

ANIMAL MAGNETISM
Back-to-nature types love the Mountain Lake House, which offers the ultimate in seclusion and privacy just a few minutes from ritzy Nassau Street in Princeton. Don’t be surprised if Bambi and Thumper join the festivities. Wedding parties are the interlopers on this 90-acre nature preserve; the furry full-time residents merely tolerate their presence.

TAYLOR MADE
Spring and Autumn wedding dates fill up fast at the Taylor-Butler House in historic Middletown. The breathtaking Victorian-Italianate structure sits on five wooded acres and has been lovingly restored to offer eight ornate rooms in which to hold your service and reception.

FARM TEAM
When you’re talking “blast from the past,” there may be no better wedding site in the state than the 1761 Brearly House, which sits in a meadow at the end of a winding, unpaved road in Lawrenceville. The hinges hadn’t even started squeaking on this lovely Georgian brick home when the colonials started taking potshots at the redcoats. Of course, those musket balls wouldn’t have been coming from Brearly. It was a Quaker farmhouse during the Revolution.

TAKE IT TO THE BANK
Before the Cooper River joins the Delaware, it ambles past

the Camden County Boathouse in Pennsauken. It serves as the launching point for some of the state’s finest crew teams. Add them to the people pulling for couples as they recite their vows on the balcony overlooking the river and the natural beauty beyond. It’s like getting married in a Monet painting.

HIGH WATER MARK
No other spot in New Jersey combines sea and sky like the Water Witch Club in Monmouth Hills (above). It offers a sweeping view of the Atlantic Ocean, New York City and Sandy Hook Bay, and is the highest place on the Eastern Seaboard where couples can tie the knot. Nestled in a neighborhood recently placed on the National Register of Historic Places, the Water Witch Club Casino has been in continuous use as a gathering place for performances and celebrations longer than any other in the state.

ANCHORS AWEIGH
For pure firepower, nothing can compete with the battleship New Jersey in Camden. Launched in 1942 and converted to a museum and memorial in 2001, she is the Navy’s most decorated battleship. The New Jersey (aka BB62) has her own events staff to ensure that everything’s shipshape for the nuptials.

ON THE WATERFRONT
If you prefer New York over Philly as your river view, then you’ll want to contact the folks who run the boathouse at Hoboken’s Shipyard Marina. An emerald lawn stretches right to the water’s edge, where guests can arrive by limo, ferry or—for that cousin who still owes you money—PATH train.

Classic Charm
These wedding spots feed the need for timeless tradition

FLOWER POWER
Anyone getting hitched at Liberty Hall in Union (right) will tell you that a rose garden by any other name would not smell
as sweet. There’s just something about an outdoor wedding at this historic site—with its 23 manicured acres and breathtaking architecture—that truly transcends the mere traditional.

HOME JAMES
Catering halls may be off your radar if you’re looking for something beyond the ordinary. However, don’t be too quick
to eschew the James Ward Mansion in Westfield. While it offers the bells and whistles you’d expect from a traditional
wedding spot, it outdoes itself (and the competition) in terms of Old World elegance and sophistication. No smoked-glass
chandeliers here.

THANK HEAVEN
For most soon-to-be-marrieds, it’s an article of faith that the cost and commitment involved in the staging of a glorious
“church wedding” will come in on the steep side. Not so at the Kirkpatrick Chapel in New Brunswick (right). From the
towering candelabras to the chest-rattling pipe-organ music, it’s everything you dream of—only without the religious trappings or the big price tag.

Artful Dodges
A great way to avoid the obvious is to embrace
the creative side of the wedding equation

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
Looking to class up the in-laws on the big day? Look no further than the Newark Museum, which offers three different venues boasting priceless paintings and sculpture. You deliver the guests and the elegant Engelhard Court, the plush Ballantine House and the beautiful Alice Ransom Dreyfuss Memorial Garden supply the cultured surroundings.

WORK OF ART
Bringing form to your function is a specialty of the Grounds for Sculpture, located at the Seward Johnson Center for the
Arts in Hamilton. A favorite spot for exchanging vows is the Nine Muses by Carlos Dorrien, but with so much to serve as
an artistic backdrop, brides and grooms are encouraged to get creative. EDGE

Globetrotting microbes are keeping New Jersey doctors on their toes.

There are some souvenirs you want to bring back from your travels—local handicrafts, beautiful jewelry—and then there are the ones that you don’t. These range from the inconvenient

(Montezuma’s Revenge) to the catastrophic (raging infections). Thanks to ever-adventurous New Jerseyans and newcomers from developing countries, doctors in the Garden State often find themselves treating patients with unusual, challenging-to-diagnose, and even hard-to-cure diseases. By the time they arrive at Trinitas Regional Medical Center, their condition is typically dire. Sometimes, it’s desperate.

The rundown of rare diseases that doctors are currently fighting in New Jersey includes the tropical maladies with which world travelers are now familiar. Interestingly, these are showing up less frequently. Indeed, one would expect that the incidence of, say, typhoid, malaria, and dengue fever might be on the rise. But Dr. Clark Sherer, Chief of Infectious Diseases at Trinitas, says the number of cases of these tropical diseases has remained low for the 20 years he has worked in infectious diseases.

CONFRONTING THE “CLASSICS”

“We’re not seeing more than we’re used to—just a case or two of malaria a year, and a case of dengue fever every few years,” he says.

Dr. Sherer credits the availability of immunizations and preventative medicine with keeping the numbers small. “There are people who go out into the jungle for a week on tour and never get pills to prevent malaria,” he says. “But, if you take the proper precautions regarding vaccinations, food and water, and insect and mosquito control, you can stay healthy.”

When treating some of the rarer cases, like dengue fever and typhoid, the biggest challenge for doctors can be staying abreast of the latest treatments. “Since we see them infrequently, when we make the diagnosis, we have to

familiarize ourselves with any developments in treatment,” Dr. Sherer says. “You don’t feel quite as comfortable dealing with something you only see rarely.”

TB OR NOT TB

Tuberculosis is another disease that people associate with exotic locales. And recently, headlines about drug-resistant strains of TB may have struck fear in people’s hearts. Yet Dr. Sherer says that the incidence of drug-resistant TB is relatively low.

“Tuberculosis has been out there and is still out there, but most of the cases we’re seeing are completely sensitive to treatment,” he maintains.

While the number of cases of TB has grown, Dr. Sherer says there’s little need for the general public to worry. “Most of the cases we’re seeing here are in foreign-born people who are on the younger side. They were exposed in another country where TB is endemic, and later develop active TB.”

BAD BUGS

The most challenging cases the doctors are seeing involve bacterial infections, whether it’s unusual strains of mycobacteria brought back from a trip to a developing country or the homegrown variety of infections that are antibiotic-resistant.

Necrotizing fasciitis—a rapidly spreading infection that can kill off large swaths of soft tissue in a matter of hours— can be especially life-threatening.

“They have to be treated surgically immediately,” says Dr. Morteza Khaladj of The Center for Wound Healing and Hyperbaric Medicine. “We clean and drain the infection. Sometimes we have to remove the bone and large sections of soft tissue. Then patients are treated with IV antibiotics.”

The most troubling new infectious disease—methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA)— started right in our own backyard. MRSA began cropping up in hospitals as people with weakened immune systems began to develop

antibiotic-resistant staph infections in the skin, which often spread to surgical wounds, bones, and joints, and even into the major organs. This new strain of Staph infection has grown resistant to many antibiotics. Then a new strain developed—community-acquired MRSA—which can cause skin infections and pneumonia.

“Healthy people are coming into the hospital with overwhelming staph infections, very resistant strains of E. coli and other bacteria—some are resistant to all antibiotics,” Dr. Sherer says. “It’s a big concern—there are not many new antibiotics out there, so our resources are limited in treating some of these infections. MRSA has become a huge issue that we’re dealing with on a daily basis.”

So should you be worried? Most medical experts say that with the proper precautions, you can get through life safely, whether you’re jetting halfway around the world or driving to the local Wawa for a quart of milk.

“I don’t think the average person needs to be concerned,” Dr. Sherer says. “Just follow the CDC’s recommendations regarding the precautions you should take when you travel someplace where you might be at risk, and you should be fine.”

Ecotourism is all the rage. Even in a gray economy, most Americans say they would pay a premium to travel green. Saying and doing, however, can be two very different things.

With America’s green revolution in full swing, being a savvy traveler now means more than merely ferreting out five-star resorts and
three-star prices. For the globally conscious adventurer, the ideal vacation includes an environmentally sustainable destination and, even better, a rental car that runs on renewable fuels. A truly green traveler will encounter the pollution created by the round-trip flight by donating to solar power.

Limiting your planetary impact is a noble goal and worthy challenge. But just how realistic are these goals?

Good intentions aside, defining what constitutes a sustainable destination—and finding the right lodging or tour operator—can be daunting, especially for newcomers to ecotourism. The first hurdle is sorting out the legitimately environmentally conscious travel purveyors from the so-called “greenwashers,” or those companies promoting green credentials to attract customers, but which engage in little or no environmental protection. Fortunately, there are several information sources devoted to socially and environmentally sustainable travel, available online or in bookstores. Trip planners can use these and other resources to come up with a shortlist of potential resorts, hotels, or tour operators.

“These kinds of resources have made environmentally and socially responsible travel easier than people think,” says Martha Honey, President of the Center For Responsible Travel, a Washington, DC nonprofit. “While we’re not quite to the point of one-stop shopping, there is a wealth of information and it’s pretty accessible.”

When vetting hotels, guesthouses, or resorts, suggests Ronald Sanabria, Director of Sustainable Tourism for the Rainforest Alliance, check to see whether they have received environmental certification certificates from third-party organizations.

While there is no overarching international certifying agency, a growing number of countries, U.S. states, and international organizations review the environmental practices of resorts or operators and award certificates. Australia-based Green Globe 21—one of the best known—has certified over 700 properties and organizations worldwide. In searching for lodging in the U.S., look for a stamp from Energy Star, an EPA program that helps hotels and other companies reduce energy use. Many environmentally progressive countries—including Costa Rica, Ecuador, and Kenya— have strong certification programs. Here in America, about 25 state programs also offer certification.

Because resorts or tour operators with a strong environmental commitment are not always certified, it certainly doesn’t hurt to contact intriguing properties directly and inquire about their environmental policies. Try to determine in what ways they contribute to the sustainability of the surrounding community. Start with a few basic questions: How do you reduce waste? How do you conserve water usage? What chemicals do hotel staff use for cleaning or gardening? Do they hire local workers and use local products in the kitchen?

“The answers to these questions should give travelers a sense of the property’s commitment to sustainability,” Honey says. Offering guests the option of passing on towel or sheet changes is now considered the basic minimum environmental policy for hotels. More serious properties have gone further by switching to alternative energy sources or using organic produce in the kitchen.

After finding a suitable green resort or tour operator, some take steps to counter the air pollution created by their transportation. This is the eco-travelers carbon footprint— the amount of carbon dioxide pollution each person is responsible for producing by flying jet-fueled airplanes, driving car rentals, or taking any means of transport using fossil fuels. To help counterbalance the potential environmental impact, a growing number of carbon trading companies calculate how many carbons travelers burn, then collect funds from them and invest them in renewable energy resources to offset the damage.

What’s that compute to on, say, a flight from Newark Airport to Aruba? Climatecare, a UK outfit that specializes in helping travelers and companies offset the carbon pollution they cause, calculates that a couple will burn 1.38 tons of carbon emissions on this trip. The company will then collect the $20.40 needed to create an equivalent amount of clean energy. They invest the funds in wind power, biomass, or other renewable energy projects, usually in the developing world.

Now, if you can find a rental car that runs on electricity, you’ve accomplished something…namely a guilt-free eco escape!

Editor’s Note: Gary Lee won the Lowell Thomas Award for Travel Journalism for his coverage of 9/11 in The Washington Post. Fluent in five languages, including Russian, Gary served as the Post’s Moscow Bureau Chief. He was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for his articles about Gorbachev’s Russia.

Starting Points

• INTERNATIONAL ECOTOURISM SOCIETY
  (www.ecotourism.org) promotes sustainable tourism, offers a succinct definition of what ecotourism is about: responsible travel to nature areas that conserves the environment and improves the well-being of people. It also links to The Travel Green Guide, which includes tips, approved lodging, and tour operators.
• THE RAINFOREST ALLIANCE has compiled a list of hundreds of environmentally responsible properties and operators worldwide. Log onto www.ecoindextourism.org.
• National Geographic Traveler’s ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SUSTAINABLE TRAVEL. Many country guides published by Lonely Planet include a GreenDex, a quick reference index of sustainable accommodations, and other eco-tips.

Three For Money

These luxury resorts come with impeccable eco-credentials…

Kanantik Reef & Jungle Resort

Set amidst 300 acres of jungle along the southern coast of Belize, this property is a luxurious haven in a sweep of exotic flora and fauna. Guests are housed in 25 Mayan huts with thatched roofs and hardwood floors. A member of the International Ecotourism Society, Kanantik is unflinchingly respectful of the surrounding ecology. No chemical sprays are used on the grounds. A special ecologically sensitive septic system handles waste, and refuse from the kitchen is composted. Meals are made with local organic products. Be advised—there is no shopping or nightlife nearby. But with jaguar-watching in the adjacent Cockscomb Basin, canoeing in the nearby uncharted rivers, 1,300 feet of beach just out the door, and excursions to the ancient Mayan ruins at Xunantunich, who needs modern distractions? The room rate includes meals and some excursions.
877-759-8834 • kanantik.com

Bardessono

Open less than a year, this 62-room Napa Valley property has already become the gold standard for luxury eco-hotels. The spare, low-rise buildings are constructed from walnut laurel bay and other wood salvaged from surrounding Northern California. Solar panels provide much of the electricity used on site. An elaborate system of underwater wells and pumps are used to heat and cool the guestrooms. No
plastic is used on property in order to minimize waste. The environmentally au courant management has even forgone rugs, to cut back on allergens. Bardessono’s Zen-inspired design does allow for creature comforts, including flat-screen televisions, 300-count organic linens, deluxe bath products, a gourmet restaurant, in-room spa treatments, and just about every other perk you’d expect from a five-star destination.
707-204-6000 • bardessono.com

Closer to Home

Just this January, Starwood launched its Element brand right here in the Garden State. The Element
Ewing Hotel is “flawlessly and certifiably state-of-the-art green” according to the property’s opening-day publicity. What exactly does that mean? From the naturally lit lobby to the guest rooms (which feature low-flow fixtures and stylish recycling bins), there is
an impressive balance of energy efficiency and topflight hotel amenities. Eco-friendly materials are used throughout the hotel, right down to the paint and carpeting and the housekeeping staff is armed with an arsenal of green cleaning products. 609-671-0050 • starwoodhotels.com/element.

La Casitas Del Colca

At the end of a dusty road in the rustic Colca valley of southern Peru, this collection of 20 cabins enables guests to experience rich, raw
nature and first-class service all at once. The structures, constructed of local Laja stone and other natural materials, blend seamlessly
into the pristine natural surroundings. Strongly committed to the protection of southern Peru’s delicate ecosystem, the hotel grounds
include an organic garden that supplies the kitchen with most of its fruits and vegetables. Las Casitas del Colca also composts organic waste for the garden and sends wastewater to a treatment plant for purity. The vegetable garden on the grounds is also used to provide produce for the nearby Mission of Sister Antonia soup kitchen. Guests are encouraged to volunteer at the mission. The major draw of the area is the Colca Canyon, located a short drive from the hotel. The 10,725-foot deep gorge offers a front-row seat for some serious condor-watching. That number is correct—it’s twice as deep as the Grand Canyon! The room rate includes all meals. 011-51-1-610-8300 •lascasitasdelcolca.com

According to the Mayan calendar, on December 21, 2012, the world will come to an end. Deep down, no one really buys into this apocalyptic vision. However, it would be nice to think that New Jersey is moving away from impending doom, rather than towards it. So, the question is: Are we?

When out-of-towners think of New Jersey, they tend to picture belching smokestacks, floating medical waste and other less-than-complimentary images. Unfair as that may be, the state does have a reputation for contributing more than its fair share to the world’s pollution problem. More and more, however, we hear that New Jersey is actually a leader in the Green Movement. Everyone, it seems—from cities to businesses to individual citizens—is focused on reducing our collective carbon footprint, protecting our precious resources and promoting sustainability. Granted, there is often a credibility gap between saying you’re green and putting your money where your mouth is. But as this snapshot of “where we are” shows, in many important (and surprising) ways, the Garden State really is living up to its name. Change is never easy, especially when it comes with a price tag. And make no mistake, the initial cost of going green can be steep. Yet slowly but surely, what was once a polarizing issue is becoming a foundational one. The poster child for environmental sustainability no longer sports a beard and sandals. More often than not, it’s a guy like Mike Kerwin. Kerwin is the CEO of the Somerset County Business Partnership and founder of the state’s first Energy Council. He has been at the forefront of leading the effort to make New Jersey green. Whether it’s convincing people to walk, bike, use mass transit, bring their own bags to the grocery store or reuse water bottles, he has been committed to teaching the masses how to live more environmentally friendly. Kerwin himself sees the change. Where he once found himself lecturing people on why it’s important to live green, he now spends a lot of time providing answers to inquisitive New Jerseyans on how to embrace a cleaner, healthier and more environmentally responsible lifestyle. While everyone is still watching their pennies these days, there is a general acceptance that the added cost (and effort) required to achieve these goals is worth it in the long run. “I definitely notice that younger people—starting with my own kids—seem to embrace it,” says Kerwin of going green. “I think it’s going to be a generational shift. I think ultimately there is going to be a demand for some lifestyle changes. And I think the older generation will follow suit. The case has been made that change has to be made.”

OLD DOGS, NEW TRICKS One of the most daunting obstacles to the greening of New Jersey is breaking old habits. The same person who dutifully recycles plastic bags or keeps their tires perfectly inflated may be completely resistant to a resource-preserving technology that simply rubs people the wrong way. Ted Carey knows all too well what it feels like to bump up against logic-defying behavior. His Hillsdale company, C&C Service, markets and installs LaundryPure, a device installed above the washing machine that uses the hydrogen contained in tap water to eliminate the need for hot water and laundry detergent. It saves money. It saves energy. It extends the life of clothing. And from a cost-to-benefit standpoint, the $450 LaundryPure amortizes itself in less than two years. You’d think by now every home would have one, and that Carey would be sipping Mai Tais on some beach overlooking a secluded tropical lagoon. There is just one problem.

“The promise that the unit makes is so great, that there is a natural skepticism,” he says. “Madison Avenue has indoctrinated us to believe that you need bleach and detergent in order to have clean clothes. And when something seems too good to be true, we have a tendency to move away from it.” “We need to give a unit to Oprah,” Carey laughs.

GRIP IT & RIP IT The verdant Hyatt Hills Golf Complex, situated on the borders of Clark and Cranford, was once a condemned brown site. Now it counts among its accolades the NJTA’s Environmental Stewardship Award. Hyatt Hills was reclaimed and transformed into a destination for golfers and their families, with first-rate teaching pros and fine dining.

CAR TALK Perhaps the ultimate test of our willingness to flip the switch on the status quo is the environmentally friendly automobile. America’s car culture is deeply embedded in New Jersey. Look around the next time you’re stuck at a stoplight. Almost everyone is driving something smelly, noisy, big—or some combination of the three. At what point will Garden Staters embrace hybrids like the Prius or Volt, or the batterypowered Leaf? (Note to Nissan: Real men may not drive a car called the Leaf.) The numbers are too premature to draw any lasting conclusions, but what does exist may raise a few eyebrows. Toyota dealerships like the one in Cherry Hill reported that they were having a hard time moving the Prius—and that was before the mother company’s PR nightmare. In 2008, New Jersey ranked 11th in hybrid vehicles sold, with 6,072, despite being the 9th-most populous state. According to the salespeople in Cherry Hill, the vast majority of New Jerseyans are still in love with their SUVs, and have a hard time with the concept of plugging in a car at night. The idea of not being able to go out and just start your car immediately is still viewed as a hassle versus a benefit. Not to mention that there are conversion steps the average home must undergo before it can support a hybrid vehicle.

GROWING PAINS We are what we eat. Countless studies support this old axiom. Although only a small percentage of fruit, vegetables and dairy grown in the Garden State is organic, that number has been rising dramatically as New Jersey consumers are becoming wise to the real cost of food grown with the help of chemicals, or trucked in from thousands of miles away. Business is booming at the state’s beloved produce stands, many of which feature organic goods. Meanwhile, the major grocery chains are devoting more and more space to these products. Some even have organic house brands. All told, sales of organic foods have seen double-digit percentage increases each year for more than a decade, with some years well over 20 percent. It’s a drop in the bucket, of course, but anything that heightens consumers’ awareness of the bigger environmental picture—especially in such personal terms—is a step in the right direction. Stephen McDonald would certainly agree. He founded Applegate Farms, a Bridgewater-based natural foods business, 22 years ago. Back then he and his peers seemed to be fighting a losing battle against that other McDonald’s. Today, Applegate Farms has grown from a niche market in the health-food category to mainstream markets all across the state. McDonald credits the growth of his business and others like it to the fact that New Jersey shoppers are making informed choices about what they feed their families—significantly more informed than even a decade ago. “When you walk into a store you want to understand how it was made, and what’s in it and what is not in it,” he explains, adding that “you can eat less and eat better, and it doesn’t have to cost you any more money. And it’s better for your diet. What excites us is that people are learning and becoming more engaged.”

LEARNED BEHAVIOR

Of course, a major component of changing our longterm relationship with the earth depends on setting a good example for our children. In this regard, New Jersey schools are getting with the plan. Most if not all of the major additions and renovations that have occurred in recent years have embraced some aspect of green sensibility. One of the early trend-setters was the Willow School in Peapack-Gladstone, built from the ground up in 2001. Most of the school was constructed with salvaged and recycled materials. From the wooden beams that hold up the walls to the stonework that graces the steps, much of the physical plant is experiencing a second coming of sorts. Solar pane ls have cut energy bills by as much as 70 percent, while rainwater is recycled in a filtering tank and stored for everything but drinking water. The school even has a lunchtime garden on-site. Head of School Kate Walsh is quick to point out an added benefit to going green: an enhanced learning environment. “There’s sort of a peaceful easiness in our classrooms,” she says. “We keep cool with a lot of natural air and natural light. We don’t have a lot of sickness. It’s a very healthy environment. There are no toxins, so the kids are basically healthy and the energy is really nice. What we teach our children is that they need to be responsible decision-makers as they live in the world.”

FINDING THE RIGHT MIX

Ultimately, the agent for green change in New Jersey will be a mix of common sense and economic survival. As Randall Solomon, Executive Director of the New Jersey Sustainable State Institute at Rutgers, points out, “We want to make sure the foundation of our economy and our standard of living is built on a stable foundation that will last into the future.” As for the Mayans, one might be tempted to say that they could have used a smart guy like Solomon to give them a heads-up when their society began crumbling. Then again, New Jersey might do well to take a hard look back at the lessons learned by that vanished civilization. There are some haunting parallels. Yes, we’ll make it past 2012 all right. But the next time you find yourself complaining about food and water shortages, skyrocketing fuel prices, overbuilding and overpopulation, it might be worth remembering that in responsible, proactive stewardship of the environment lies the key to the future of the state.

Editor’s Note: Zack Burgess is the Assignments Editor for EDGE. He decided to tackle this assignment himself—with assists from architect Bob Kellner and transportation Expert Josh Leinsdorf. For more information on the energySMART program call (866) NJ–SMART.

In 1974, when Alice Waters’s Chez Panisse was a toddler, a young chef named DENNIS FOY opened a restaurant some 3,000 miles from the mecca in Berkeley, California that was setting a new standard for dining in America. Located in Meyersville— thought of in those days as west of nowhere—the Tarragon Tree drew people curious about a way of cooking that was ingredient-focused, seasonal, and dependent on the nearest farmers. Technique was critical but, like Waters and her foraged-food menus, Foy couldn’t, and wouldn’t, write his bill of fare until he’d made the rounds of local farms.

Foy’s philosophy remained the same as he moved Tarragon Tree from Meyersville to Chatham, opened Les Delices in Whippany with his brother, John, and crossed the Hudson to Manhattan, where he widened his audience with Mondrian. There were other restaurants: Toto, Townsquare, casual Shore spots in Bay Head and Point Pleasant Beach, as well as EQ and Dennis Foy in New York, both in partnership
with his wife, Estella Quinones. He often shared his kitchen space, as well as his experience and passion for local fare, with novice chefs—who themselves made serious marks on American cuisine, including the top judge of “Top Chef,” Tom Colicchio, and James Beard Award winners Debbie Ponzek and Craig Shelton. Foy also kicked in his two cents as consulting chef on major restaurants in New Jersey.

Now, after heart surgery and recovery, after a successful series of gallery shows that put the chef’s paintings in the spotlight, Foy’s back full-time in New Jersey. He and Estella last fall bought and re-fashioned the former Lawrenceville Inn, christening it Dennis Foy. This year, the chef and painter added another job to his résumé: student. He’s taking classes at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. ANDREA CLURFELD caught up with him between kitchen shifts and classes

EDGE: For those who don’t know you are the granddaddy of modern American food in New Jersey, talk a bit about your early restaurants

DF: In 1974, when we opened Tarragon Tree in Meyersville, there was a farm nearby where we’d get eggs still warm. That’s what we did— go from this farm to that farm. When we moved Tarragon Tree to Chatham, we kept that focus. In 1978, I also did Les Delices with my brother. Tarragon Tree was a precursor, really, to any modern restaurant in America. Out of that, I built other restaurants that helped to change food in America. It was a great time. The people who came to the restaurants and came through the kitchens were some of the biggest names in food. Critics, chefs. A lot of menus today are written the way I started writing menus back in the 1970s, early 1980s.

EDGE: You gave Tom Colicchio, a Jersey boy, his big break.

DF: Tom was my sous chef at Mondrian. I hired him because I knew him, knew his potential. A lot was happening in those days; I was also opening Toto, in Summit. Still doing Tarragon Tree.

EDGE: And you were hiring Debbie Ponzek and Craig Shelton.

DF: Debbie Ponzek [later the Beard Award-winning chef at Montrachet in New York] did a stage at Tarragon Tree. I just
love her. She’s a great talent, a great person, a great chef. She learned everything, worked hard, and deserves every
bit of her success. Debbie will tell you I drilled her. But she learned how to run a kitchen and how to cook. Craig Shelton[former chef-owner of Ryland Inn, Whitehouse, and anotherBeard Award winner] was a gifted, talented chef. Very bright, well-educated. We all were committed to our belief systems and very devoted to doing it right. I have been very fortunate to always have had a great deal of talent around me.

EDGE: Today, the buzzwords in food are local, sustainable and organic. Does that seem old hat to you?

DF: What’s really wild is that I’m returning to my roots— to what I was doing at Tarragon Tree in 1974. Getting eggs warm from the nest. Finding berries in the woods. Having people bring us things—wild things, berries, mushrooms— because they see what we’re doing. We’ve come full circle. So that is nothing new to me. The seasonality of food always has to be second nature; it has to be a natural reaction. It’s funny to remember this now, but back then, the Frelinghuysen’s used to bring me beefsteak tomatoes from their gardens every summer. My customers just did that, back in Meyersville and Chatham.

EDGE: How are you bringing local farms to your table at Dennis Foy in Lawrenceville today?

DF: The new menu literally is designed to be farm-to-table food. We found a guy who has black honey. Great stuff. We showcase it. Right near us are three farms. Two orchards. I feel almost like I’m back in the pool I first dove into in 1974. I source a lot of my produce through Nature’s Reward, the produce market over on Bridge Avenue in Point Pleasant; I’ve worked with them for years, going back to my places in Bay Head and Point Pleasant. It’s the best. I’ll go out of my way to go there.

EDGE: Have farmers become savvier?

DF: I think they have. There are farmers with serious degrees in agriculture and animal husbandry. New Jersey has some of the top growers. I think that if people become more attuned to what’s happening, the concept of the small farm can be reinvented. You don’t need big spreads. Just the right crops. The bottom line is that the farm-to-table concept is good economy—for both sides.

EDGE: How does all this Jersey bounty influence your cooking?

DF: I buy every day. So it’s basic. Keep it simple, keep it color-coded, keep it organic. It’s like the Depression-era mothers who made the most of their gardens

EDGE: So you think this has legs, that there’s a future to local-sustainable-organic—for the home cook and for restaurants?

DF: Absolutely. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how full circle this has come for me. I’m surprised, but not surprised to be realizing that everything old is new again. Look at it this way: If you have your own victory garden, you’re a step ahead. Having that food in your backyard will make you recalibrate your diet in a good way. That could be a big change. Frankly, I don’t think there’s much new that’s going to come down the road for restaurants. Gradual influences, not major changes. It’s great that so many different cultures are coming to America and adding ideas to menus

EDGE: What’s on the menu these days at Dennis Foy?

DF: I’m cooking more simply, but bringing out more flavor in my ingredients. I spent the past year recovering from
heart surgery. I ate fairly well, and I still eat well. But I’m more focused today. I’d love to have, say, two elements on a plate. Two absolutely pristine things. Sea scallops from Point Pleasant with a parsnip cream. Just a touch of a balsamic reduction. That’s it. Pristine, elegant. I’m not doing frou-frou food. I started getting ice cream, the best ice cream, from Jerry Reilly, who runs Halo Farm [in Mercer County]. I taste his ice cream and I’m totally blown away. I’ve been in New Jersey 35 years and I’m still discovering what’s here.

Editor’s Note: Dennis Foy is located at 2691 Main St., Lawrenceville. Telephone: 609. 219. 1900.

“It is Didier now,” says the gentleman in the Hermes tie and dapper suit as he sands, head bowed slightly in our direction, at the foot of our corner table at Chez Catherine. “Not ‘Sir.’ No more. I am Didier.”

Even Didier Jouvenet’s admonishments can flatter. I’ve just addressed him as “Sir” in a quick series of queries at the end of our dinner, and the owner/maitre d’/sommelier of this intimate and pure French restaurant in Westfi eld is insisting on doing away with distance between diner and proprietor. That’s how the old restaurant pros do it, and the veteran of La Grenouille and The Carlyle Hotel in New York is nothing if not the consummate pro. Chez Catherine has been around a long time in its somewhat incongruous home in the bosom of a Best Western motel near the downtown district. But it’s been reinvigorated by the current stewardship of Didier Jouvenet and his wife, Edith. They have secured the services of chef de cuisine C.J. Reycraft to turn out the French classics. There are very few places in New Jersey where brandade de morue and confit of duck and profiteroles are done with textbook care.

If the foamists have their way, or if designer burgers snatch any more menu space—or if yet another Everything-Asian eatery takes hold in a strip mall—restaurants such as Chez Catherine could find themselves on the culinary endangered species list of New Jersey. We shouldn’t let that happen. The Jouvenets and their kitchen crew give us too much reason to let that happen. The dining room may be a touch too pretty-pink, a tad cluttered and close-quartered. Yet the dishes served forth are precise, heartfelt translations of those that once made France the culinary capital of the planet. They merit attention. Brandade de morue, a soul-satisfying mash of housecured salt cod, potatoes and roasted garlic, is given a lick of olive oil to help smooth it on accompanying toasts. If you’ve ever thought fondue was fun, well, Chez Catherine’s brandade offers the same communal dip-in pleasures, with a different and arguably more intriguing base. Risotto, as popular in parts of southern France as it is in northwestern Italy, is given a creamy lift with the addition of mascarpone, which balances the tannic shreds of spinach nicely. Is a shot of truffle oil overkill? Not in the hands of Reycraft, whose deft hand keeps this often-overused condiment in proper check. It’s background here, wisely elusive. But the foie gras is brawny and bold. A hunk of the stuff serves as the centerpiece of a plate with a rash of partners that allow you to enhance the fatty liver in various ways.

There are pert cubes of Grand Marnier gelee, slivers of toasted hazelnuts, a compote of vanilla-laced pineapple and a swirl of pink peppercorn-infused blood orange. No reason to be shy; lap it all up, for all of it works. Skate, splayed gloriously on a wide plate, showed the wing span of an eagle—and the sure hand of a kitchen willing to let an expertly cooked piece of fish stand just about on its own. A little acid from nibs of citrus was all that was needed. Duck confit, plucked from the annals of the classic bistros of southwestern France, didn’t miss either. This is the dish that defines falling-off-the-bone tender, and Chez Catherine’s rendition is the snapshot for a cookery bible. Factor in a scattering of tart, dried cherries for counterpoint, a pile of wild rice for texture and long-braised scallions for sweetness, and you have an air-tight case for respecting tradition. Chez Catherine’s kitchen also knows how to respect lamb. Fat rib-eye chops come cosseted by a chestnut puree and Brussels sprouts—an appropriately (and pleasantly) bitter sideshow to rich meat. The parade of classics doesn’t let up at dessert. How long has it been since you’ve had a proper profiterole? Here, your new best friend, Didier, will pour from a miniature gravy boat a ration of hot chocolate sauce over and around buttery puffs of pastry with an inner prize of vanilla ice cream. The original molten chocolate cake, done to death at chain restaurants everywhere? It’s here in true French fashion, fastidiously made so it tastes of fine dark chocolate, not something insidiously sweet, and served with a scoop of pomegranate ice cream. The best of the finales may have been the lemon tart, with a curd that resonates sour, spooned into a meringue shell and then set astride flecks of Marcona almonds, a thimbleful of lemon verbena-mascarpone sorbet and a flourish of blackberry sorbet. Mon dieu, do the French know balance, or what?

I do wish, however, that the wine list was better balanced. It weighs heavily in favor of the high-priced (way highpriced) standbys, while all but ignoring the highly nuanced, spirited small-producer bottles from the south of France that would sing with Reycraft’s food. If you’re willing to shell out three figures (or four), you can enjoy a solid Burgundy or Bordeaux. But the $60-to-$80 price range is far too thin, lacking in imagination and educational value, for the list to be considered worth a trip. But the food at Chez Catherine is. It makes me hope France’s life at New Jersey’s tables is long lived.

Dress for Dining Success

Gents, Chez Catherine is a place that doesn’t demand jacket and tie, but certainly deserves to be honored by appropriate attire. While a jacket alone will do, the same clothes worn to accomplish household chores will not. Ladies, workout wear is unsuitable here. This is a place where diners should feel inspired to rise to the occasion, even if that occasion is simply dinner out. Clothes worn to mow lawns and shuffle kids to soccer may do you fine at Applebee’s, but not at Chez Catherine. Will you see inappropriately dressed people dining here? Yes. It would be hard to imagine Didier Jouvenet and his crew treating them with any less respect than his properly dressed clients. It’s known as class. Watch and learn.

Editor’s Note: Andy Clurfeld is a former editor of Zagat New Jersey. The longtime food critic for the Asbury Park Press also has been published in Gourmet, Saveur and Town & Country, and on epicurious.com. Don’t miss her Q&A with celebrity chef Dennis Foy on page 40.

“Popular” may be one of the iconic songs that Kristin Chenoweth has made her own during a hit-filled stage and screen career, yet it falls far short of describing her standing among musical comedy connoisseurs. It is no exaggeration to say that Chenoweth is one of the most beloved performers in Broadway history. From her Tony-winning performance as Sally in You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown to her memorable turn as the good witch Glinda in Wicked—to her portrayal of Mildred, the cranky preacher’s wife in this summer’s joyfully insane Apple TV series Schmigadoon—she has specialized in imbuing her characters with irresistible charm and explosive energy. Can you imagine Kristin Chenoweth sitting quietly on the sidelines during the COVID-19 pandemic? No…and neither could EDGE editor Mark Stewart. Fortunately, he was able to slow Kristin down long enough to chat about her busy 2021 and the just-released holiday album, Happiness Is…Christmas!

EDGE: Can you recall the moment when you were on a stage before an audience and thought, This is for me?

KC: Of course. I was about eight years old and wanted to be a ballerina. I was in a version of The Nutcracker in the Tulsa Ballet and wanted to play one of the mice, but I was too small to fit in any of the costumes. The director said he wanted me to “create” the role of the rabbit. I thought that seemed kind of sketchy. The rabbit just sat there next Clara for all of Act II. It was the second weekend, a Saturday matinee. My family was there. One of the props the sugarplum fairies dance with, a large vine, fell center-stage. It was a pretty big prop. That’s very dangerous for theater and especially for ballerinas. I thought, What would a bunny do? How would it act? So I hopped out, put it in my mouth and hopped back. The audience went crazy. I thought, Hey…I like this feeling! That’s when the bug bit me.

EDGE: Did your parents indulge this desire?

KC: You know, they did. We lived in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma and the nearest town that had anything was Tulsa. My parents were very gracious. They allowed me to take piano lessons at Tulsa University and I studied ballet in Tulsa, as well, where I became a member of the Tulsa Ballet junior dance company. And I sang in church. The first time I sang in church I was little, too, and thought Hey, I like this singing stuff, too. It kind of all happened at once.

EDGE: Florence Birdwell passed away earlier this year. She is someone you’ve mentioned as having played a key role early in your career.

KC: Thanks for asking about her. We had her memorial this October. The only way I know how to describe her is that she was a force—in terms of emotion and technique and knowing how to handle each student in a different way. I was really hard on myself, so I didn’t need somebody else being hard on me. She knew when to be hard on her students and when not to be. Yes, she taught me vocally and technically, but she’s really the one that ingrained in my mind the idea of If you don’t mean what you’re singing, don’t sing it. I still hear her in my head today. And now that’s what I tell my students, at Broadway Boot Camp and other places: “If you don’t mean it, don’t sing it.”

EDGE: I’m thinking of the bunny story in Tulsa and about the idea of creating a role. In the 1999 Broadway revival of You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown, you played Sally. I saw the original and she wasn’t in it. It must have been an interesting opportunity to create a role that didn’t previously exist. Who in the world knew that Charlie Brown’s little sister would be a show-stopper?

KC: Certainly not me! I remember Michael Mayer saying, “I have a surprise for you but I can’t tell you yet.” I had another offer at the time in Annie Get Your Gun with Bernadette Peters. He said, “Trust me, you’re gonna want to do this.”

EDGE: Why couldn’t he tell you?

KC: Because Charles Schulz was still thinking about whether he wanted to give his permission to [add the Sally character]. Somehow, I knew in my heart I wanted to be in Charlie Brown, I just didn’t know why. I followed my gut and took the job. The first day of rehearsal, we were all asked to sit in chairs, in front of the costumes of the characters we would play. When I got to my chair I saw it was all Sally stuff. I thought, Oh my gosh! I get to create this part! It’s rare that a director trusts someone to do that. And obviously, it was the right decision for me and one of the most fun times in my life.

EDGE: Thinking about Wicked (left) and some of the wonderful roles that followed, do you look back at that decision as a game-changing moment for you?

KC: I look back and think of Michael Mayer’s genius of having the idea and how lucky it was that Charles Schulz said yes to Sally. And what a good idea it was to let us play with all of the different sketches when we were out of town to see which ones really worked, and which didn’t, in front of an audience. And finally, the genius of Andrew Lipa to come to me with a song, “My New Philosophy,” which was so character-driven. It was a great experience, but also one I can never repeat because my life changed overnight. I was lucky to be with my Charlie Brown family, and they with me—there were only six of us—because we were together.

EDGE: Do you still have to audition for roles?

KC: Sometimes I have to audition. Mostly for Broadway I don’t. To be honest, we look for jobs that are “me” or they come to me and say this is a “Kristin part.”

EDGE: How do you know you’re good to go with a role?

KC: If I don’t want to see anyone else playing it, then I know that’s my part. I’ve got to have fun and love the person—even if she’s a nightmare, I’ve got to figure out ways to love her. Sometimes I like to turn a part on its ear and not do what people expect. I think I’ve been successful in that respect; I’ve found my niche.

EDGE: Which, I guess, is how you make it look easy.

KC: That’s a very big compliment and I appreciate it.

EDGE: What’s the most difficult thing you’ve had to do professionally?

KC: Schmigadoon was pretty hard because we had to do an 18-page song in one take, with no cuts. In other words, no mistakes. That was a little scary.

EDGE: Do you have a favorite song, one you never tire of singing?

KC: There’s a song, “Til There Was You,” that Meredith Wilson wrote in the movie of The Music Man, which I did years ago with Matthew Broderick. I never get tired of singing that song. I just think it’s one of the most perfect songs.

EDGE: You’ve played opposite some very impressive men and women on Broadway, people like Andy Karl and Peter Gallagher, whom most people know. What I’m wondering is have you ever worked with someone you knew little or nothing about, and they just blew you away in that first rehearsal?

KC: Everybody blows me away [laughs]. I think about the Andy Karls and the Peter Gallaghers and, goodness, going back in time to Brian D’Arcy James…I’ve just been so lucky. With my leading women. With my leading men. I’m grateful because they have all been very giving. In Promises, Promises I was in a role that no one wanted to see me play because it was more on the dramatic side. Sean Hayes, who is one of my closest friends, held my hand and was like I got you. He’ll always have a special place there for me.

EDGE: Tell me about your upcoming Christmas album. I’ve always wondered, how does an artist pick the songs that “make the cut” and belong together? Are they personal favorites? Are they ones that you feel suit your style? To me it seems like a real hand-wringing decision.

KC: Well said. It can be a hand-wringing experience. I really wanted this album to have a particular feel, like it’s in my DNA, which is why I recorded it in Nashville—not Country, but something with intimacy. I chose each song very carefully. We do a version of “Happiness” from You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown where we were given permission to rewrite the words about Christmas. That was a big one because of the history for me. I love Kaye Starr so “Man with a Bag” had to be on there. I love Karen Carpenter, so “Merry Christmas, Darling” had to be on there, too. There’s a song that Barbra Streisand sang a long time ago called “Christmas Lullaby” written by Ann Hanson Callaway that had a huge orchestration to it, but I wanted it to be smaller in nature. A wonderful guitarist out of Nashville named Brian Sutton played it so beautifully. There’s a song that Stephen Schwartz wrote called “We Are Light” and as I thought about the feel and the tone of the record, the idea of “light”—of light at the end of the tunnel, of we’re getting there—kept coming up. It’s a Chanukkah song, but it’s so hopeful that I really wanted to have that on there, too, because a lot of people don’t feel that now. The way we end the record is with Peggy Lee’s “My Dear Acquaintance.” With all we’ve been forced to deal with the past couple of years with the pandemic, that song to me is a real standout because it’s like, “here’s to life” in a way. There’s a lot of happiness on this album.

EDGE: You mentioned Karen Carpenter. To my mind, no one made a happy song sound sadder than Karen Carpenter. How do you make her song your own?

KC: First of all, you quit listening to her [laughs] because I will imitate her. But you can’t help take some of the things she did so beautifully and pay homage to her. Karen had a deep voice, with a kind of cry in her voice, you feel her heart and her pain. On my version you get more of I’ll see you soon baby. I’ll be coming your way and it’ll be amazing. But yeah, you’ll hear a little Karen in there because she is the O.G., the original source.

EDGE: You mentioned Schmigadoon. I look at that cast and see a Who’s Who of scene-stealing performers. How did anyone keep a straight face?

KC: We didn’t [laughs]. We had a lot of do-overs.

EDGE: Usually there’s someone in a cast that really gets to you, and it’s not always who the public might think it is.

KC: Alan Cumming was hard because he’s so silly. And Fred Armisen. They just make me laugh. It’s who they are.

EDGE: Did they give you a “Mothers Against the Future” tee shirt when you were done?

KC: No, but I want one! Don’t you think we should have had them printed?

EDGE: That’s the first thing I thought of.

KC: That actually was the first line I read in the script and I thought, Oh, this is epic. You know, these are all my friends in Schmigadoon, people I’ve known forever and just love.

EDGE: Also, I can’t think of anyone other than Martin Short playing the leprechaun. I don’t think Martin could, either.

KC: I know [laughs]. He’s so perfect in every way.

EDGE: And he’s having a little too much fun, I think.

KC: I agree. EDGE

Editor’s Note: Kristin Chenoweth’s new album, Happiness is…Christmas!, was released in October. National Champions hits theaters November 24th. Schmigadoon is available on Apple TV. For more information on Broadway Bootcamp visit kcbbc.com. For more information on Kristin’s Arts & Education Fund, visit officialkristinchenoweth.com.

We all know someone who is good at everything they try. They instinctively find their groove, never seem to over-reach and succeed again and again where others fail. It makes you a little crazy, but how can you not love their talent and courage? Aisha Tyler has pulled off “good at everything” in the toughest of all spaces—the entertainment business. She has been brilliant as a standup comic, as an Emmy-winning host of The Talk and ringleader of Who’s Line Is It Anyway?, as a star of the beloved animated series Archer, as an unforgettable character on Friends and as a director on the Walking Dead franchise. The next challenge? Her own Brooklyn-based cocktail brand. The challenge for Gerry Strauss was a bit more daunting: slowing Aisha down long enough to cover the vast and ever-expanding landscape of her remarkable career. Is it any surprise that these pages could not contain her?

EDGE: You’ve taken a lot of chances and explored several different directions in your career. This being our “Best Case Scenario” issue, I have to ask: Is there anything that you can think of that you were advised not to do, but did anyway?

AT: I don’t know that I was ever told not to do anything, but I did get a lot of discouraging feedback when I started doing stand-up. I got a lot of This is never going to work. You’re never going to make it anywhere. I’m a grownup and my comedy was always grownup comedy, so my show was always kind of edgy. I had this club owner tell me that I should stop cursing, that my material was too dirty. Then the next guy after me was talking about a little person in the most vulgar fashion and I remember telling this guy he’s a hypocrite. He said, “You’re just a little girl trying to run with the big boys and it’s not going to work.” Later I saw him and he came up to me and he was like, “I always knew you were going—” and I was like, “No, no, you didn’t. No. No, you don’t get to revise history now, buddy. You said I was going to fail.” I’m not a petty person and I don’t hold grudges, but every kid just thinks, Someday I’m going to show them! So I did really enjoy cutting him off.

EDGE: Was standup always a dream of yours?

AT: I wish it was that intentional. As a kid, watching Eddie Murphy’s Raw or Richard Pryor’s Live on the Sunset Strip, I felt like those were magical people that had fallen out of the sky. There was no direct bright line between that and like, Oh, I could do that for a living. I had discovered standup in college but it wasn’t until I got out of school that I realized that comedy could be a vocation. My minor was Environmental Studies and I wanted to work in environmental policy, so I got a job at a conservation group called the Trust for Public Land. I was doing marketing and PR for them. I think the idea was just to take a year or two to work and then go to law school and become an environmental lawyer. In the interim, I realized that working in an office was just highly problematic for me. So I started doing standup, which was obviously the hardest of hard right turns. I was watching a lot of standup on TV and thinking there were some really mediocre comics out there…and I could be mediocre, too. So I tried it once to see if I liked it. I think any standup will tell you that that first set is typically pretty electrifying. Either you fall in love with it right away, or it’s not for you. But just doing it once—and doing it poorly, I might add—I was like, Oh…this is the gig for me!

EDGE: At that point, did success in comedy seem like it would be enough?

AT: Oh, yeah. And it’s not that I’m not an ambitious person. But I found out I could do standup and be able to pay my bills and I thought that might be enough. I was really just focused on trying to be the best standup comic I could be. It was a very mid-level “best-case scenario”—an eh-case scenario, I think [laughs]. It all turned out way better than I envisioned.

EDGE: As you branched out, did you prefer to play fictional characters or find projects, like hosting, where you could be you?

AT: Oh, that’s a good question. Being myself, that’s an easy job, right? For some people, hosting and doing standup live on stage is really discomforting, however I found hosting is a very easy thing for me to do and I quite enjoy it. But I probably preferred acting because I typically like to lean into the stuff that I find most challenging and most difficult. But the host stuff was cake, you know what I mean? Even when I kind of started doing comedy and then I started getting up into drama, I really gravitated towards doing drama. I wanted to do something where I knew I was going to have to stretch myself because I typically prefer the thing at which I’m least proficient.

EDGE: Is that true of directing? I’m thinking of your doing Fear the Walking Dead.

AT: I think so. I find directing to be the most challenging and, on some days, the most frightening—so definitely the most interesting. To go into a space where you’re good at what you do, but you know you have a lot to learn, you know you’re going to be growing and you’re going to constantly be expanding your skillset and your experiences long-term. So yes, it’s definitely true of directing.

EDGE: You won a Daytime Emmy during your time on CBS’s The Talk. What were the biggest challenges of occupying that chair every day?

AT: I don’t mean to be glib, but right from the beginning it was a very easy show to do. As a standup, I was accustomed to speaking contemporaneously and off-the-cuff and being myself. It was a network show and it was for daytime, so sometimes we had to be circumspective and kind of shave off the edges. But as the show became more popular, we were able to speak more freely. I think that’s why it did well when I was there. There was a nice frankness, a kind of emotional openness to the show. It was driven by personal experience rather than politics. I’m a pretty private person, so I did struggle to figure out what about my personal life I wanted to share and what I wanted to keep private. That was always a challenge—to want to be present and forthcoming, to be supportive of the other women, but also wanting to keep some of your life’s details to yourself. I think that’s a normal human inclination, that not everything has to be out there in the open.

EDGE: In regard to your acting résumé, I think your stint as Charlie, Ross Geller’s love interest, is something that will live forever as part of the Friends legacy. Were you nervous inserting yourself into the Ross-and-Rachel dynamic?

AT: No, and I’m sure it was because there was no social media then. I really just didn’t want to suck. I was just trying not to be bad at my job. I will say that there might’ve been a general backlash against anybody who came between Ross and Rachel, but I never had anything but positive feedback, to this day. Charlie Wheeler ended up being a fan favorite. I get 10-year-olds that watch the show now that love her. I think the way that her relationship with Joey and Ross was framed and how it happened, it was all very playful. So yeah, that paleontologist lady, people tended to like her quite a bit. But I was nervous for sure, because it was the best and most popular show on television at the time. It was the peak expression of that kind of comedy and, I think, has held up as a pillar of four-camera comedy.

EDGE: There’s a story out there that you got into acting because of Sam Rockwell—

AT: It is entirely true. We went to the same high school and I thought he was super cute. He went into an improv class and I followed him in there and stayed in there. I mean, not like a stalker [laughs]. I went and hung out with him in improv class and out of school. Luckily, we’re still very close friends to this day, so it all went well.

EDGE: So what’s something about Whose Line Is It Anyway? that most people wouldn’t know?

AT: I’ve said a million times that the guys absolutely don’t know what they’re going to be improvising about until I tell them. There are no cheat-sheets or advanced stuff. So what you wouldn’t know—unless you are in the studio for the taping—is that lots of things don’t go well. They flub a lot. They make mistakes. There’s a lot of stuff that’s not safe for television—a lot of cursing—but it’s always a really playful night. It’s all hilarious. Sometimes it’s perfect and sometimes it’s a mess. But they’re so good at what they do that the whole night is really joyful. Another thing people don’t know is that, in my first season on the show, the sound guy kept complaining because I was laughing too loud. He was like, “Aisha, you need to not enjoy this as much.” I was like, That’s an impossibility.

EDGE: Tell me something that you haven’t done but would like to try.

AT: Two years ago a friend of mine gave me a skydive as a Christmas present. They did that knowing that I was going to be really angry about it, because I do not want to jump out of a plane—but the fact that they challenged me to jump out of a plane means now, of course, I have to show them and jump out of a plane [laughs]. I’m terrified. I’m legitimately terrified to do it. So now there’s just this battle between my ego and my terrified inner child over whether I’m going to ever jump out of a plane. This person knows that I have a little bit of a soft spot and they can just goad me and shame me into doing it, because I won’t be like, You can’t tell me what I’m not going to do. So the skydive is looming on the horizon and giving me palpitations, but we’ll see.

EDGE: Don’t forget a GoPro camera. This can be your next film project.

AT: Or a diaper—I’m not worried about the camera—a large adult diaper. EDGE

The following is bonus web only content:

EDGE: One of your more recent projects is your line of ready-to-drink cocktails, Courage+Stone. Where did you come up with the idea to launch this brand?

AT: I’m a cocktail lover… that’s the easy answer. I would travel for work all the time and I’d go to these great bars—a lot of them in New York—and I would get home and want to have a great drink, but all I would have is light beer in my pantry. I started buying the stuff that you needed to make great cocktails. I quickly was like, This is a lot of work. [laughs] As the kids used to say, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” So I started making them in batches and keeping them in my fridge so I could come home late on a weeknight when I was tired and just have one great drink without having to make any effort. Then I literally was like, Oh, it would be really great if you could buy these in a store—because most people would probably want the same thing.

EDGE: You began working on this in 2014. What needed to happen to make this brand what you wanted it to be?

AT: It starts with the quality of the base spirit. We really wanted to make sure that we had a real distillery partner so it wasn’t random whiskey in the cocktails or random gin in the cocktails. We looked really hard to find a great distillery partner, people who had great taste. We wanted to know who was touching our liquid and that there was a real team behind it. The whiskey base is three-year-old rye whiskey from a real distillery, made by hand, as are our cocktails. I have photos of me stirring the first batch with a paddle. It’s a real product. Then, everything else had to be premium quality, because I wanted to give people a bar-level experience at home—no corn syrup, no stabilizers, no artificial colors, no garbage of any kind of in these cocktails. From the very beginning, my touchstone was that it had to be a natural product. I was a real stickler for what went into the drink. I wanted it to be something that I would drink, something that my bartender friends would be happy to serve. So yeah, it was really an exact thing about what I wanted and making sure that it was something I was willing to put my name on.

EDGE: Why did you go to Brooklyn to create this product?

AT: There are just a lot of really great craft distilleries in Brooklyn. We took a lot of meetings in Brooklyn. It’s a place that has this kind of maker culture there, right? People are doing things in Brooklyn. It’s not a corporate-type place. You walk around, and there’s just all these great little businesses doing super-cool stuff. So when we were looking at small batch distillers there was a high concentration of people that were performing at a very high level in Brooklyn. It made sense for us as a brand. For me, I really want people to know that when we say handcrafted that’s a true story.

EDGE: I understand that meditation was a big part of your family’s life growing up. Is that a practice you continue?

AT:  I really wish that it was. Most people’s moms complain that they don’t call home enough or that they’re not eating well. My mother just complains that I don’t meditate, especially when work is kind of intense. I should meditate, but I don’t. I feel like I have no time to do anything, so sitting still for several moments and focusing on my breathing is way at the bottom of the list. But I should [laughs].

EDGE: Do you think that finding ways to bring your passions into your work has led to a unique brand of success for you?

AT: That’s a really good question and yes, I think so. There’s that greeting card adage about, “Do what you love and the rest will follow” or “Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Yes, I do think that passion for the things that I’m curious about has been what has driven me, pushed me forward and enabled me. Honestly, at times when things weren’t going the way that I would have hoped or envisioned, they were still the best-case scenario, because I was excited about what I was doing, especially as a filmmaker. The reason I’m a director is because I decided I wanted to direct—and I knew no one was going to give me a break out of the blue. I started making films on my own, making short films. I called all my friends who were in a band and offered to make them a free music video if they let me hang out with them for a few days. I just started doing that and I never felt like that was work. I felt like it was an investment in myself and in my creativity. I was building a body of work on my own without waiting for someone to give me permission. I didn’t hire a crew. I just went and rented a camera for a day and shot it myself, learned how to cut it myself, did everything myself. Then as a result, my understanding of filmmaking and the craft of filmmaking was deepened just by me kind of investing in my own growth. So yeah. I have other friends that want to break into certain areas and they’re like, “Well, I got to wait for someone to give me a job.” I’m like, You absolutely don’t! You can just get in there and do it yourself!