Internationally acclaimed chef, bestselling author, beloved TV personality, retail superstar— there isn’t much Emeril Lagasse hasn’t done in the culinary world. So it might surprise you to know that among his 12 award-winning restaurants there has never been an Italian one. Until now. This June, Lagasse opens Emeril’s Italian Table at a casino near you—the Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem to be specific, just over an hour away, a straight shot out Rte. 78. It will be his third eatery at the Sands, joining Emeril’s Chop House and Burgers and More (aka BAM). Emeril’s Italian Table features the chef’s creative takes on the rustic Italian cuisine he grew up on, as well as classic meat, fish and vegetarian dishes, wood-oven pizzas and artisanal cheeses. Diners will get to experience the cooking process up close thanks to a large window into the kitchen. EDGE editor Mark Stewart tracked down Lagasse as he put the finishing touches on his latest creation.

EDGE: Everything you do is accompanied with such high expectations now—do you experience more pressure or anxiety when you are creating a restaurant concept, or after the restaurant opens?

EL: Opening a restaurant is tough but I love it. With Emeril’s Italian Table the feeling is definitely excitement. I’ve got a great team that has been part of my organization since the very beginning. We all work hard and put a lot of energy into the planning and the menu, crafting the right look and feel of the restaurant. Our style of service and hospitality originates from my restaurants in New Orleans and is a huge part of our culture and the Emeril’s experience. In the end, we’re in the business of making people happy.

EDGE: What signature touches will veteran diners recognize at your new place in the Sands?

EL: When I opened my first restaurant, Emeril’s, in New Orleans, we really wanted to take down the wall between the kitchen and the dining room. If you visit today, there’s really no barrier between the kitchen and dining room—you can see us at work and we can see who’s dining, and make sure everything is going smoothly out in the front of the house. Emeril’s Table will include an antipasto bar and a food bar so you get that same experience and interaction up close. The food bar is still one of the hottest seats in the house.

EDGE: You opened Emeril’s Chop House at the Sands a couple of years back, and people swear by it. What goes into making a first-rate chop house—from the menu to service to the atmosphere?

EL: This is our only Chop House, so the concept here is a steakhouse with a little twist on the usual standards – chops, steaks, free-range chicken, seasonal fish, lobster and there’s also some Creole-inspired dishes. We wanted to keep a little sensibility of an American steakhouse, except more open and modern. It’s a really inviting and comfortable atmosphere with great food and great service. Each one of my restaurants has its own personality. My belief is that a restaurant must have heart, soul, and always provide a great customer experience. Great food, great wines, and great service—that’s our philosophy regardless of location.

EDGE: In the pantheon of “celebrity chefs” I think of you as approaching things with a rock-star attitude. Does that come from the days when you were considering a career in music? Are you kind of living both lives at the same time?

EL: Well, I grew up doing both and I still love both. Music was and still is another big passion for me. I was in a local band and played the drums in high school. I was even offered a scholarship to music school, but I decided instead to enroll in culinary school at Johnson & Wales University. I have been fortunate enough to overlap the two along the road.

EDGE: When was that moment when you said to yourself Hey, I’m REALLY good at what I do!

EL: I was probably 8 or 9 years old when I realized that I might want to cook and be a chef one day.

EDGE: You are a proponent of eating local produce, and obviously New Jersey has a lot to offer in that respect. What do you feel is the #1 most misunderstood or underrated vegetable?

EL: Kale. I love cooking with fresh greens, lettuces and kale—whether it’s in a soup or sautéed and served with pasta and clams. Our menus generally rotate about three or four times a year. As we transition into summer we’ll make a few menu changes for the season and incorporate the local summer corn and tomatoes and you’ll really see the seasonal influences.

EDGE: This is our Mind Your Manors issue—manors referring to homes. What are some of the mistakes home chefs tend to make when they try to prepare big, bold cuts of meat themselves?

EL: Under-seasoning. Salt and pepper are a cook’s best tool. Sometimes people are afraid to season, but that’s the secret to a great steak—salt, pepper and maybe a little cayenne or essence. Sprinkle a little more salt at the end, and maybe a drizzle of olive oil and a squeeze of fresh lemon.

EDGE: Can you make a truly great steak at home without a commercial kitchen?

EL: A cast-iron skillet, grill pan, or a gas or charcoal outdoor grill are all you need. A lot of people are afraid of under cooking meat, so a good meat thermometer is a smart investment.

EDGE: How has home cooking—from your family background—expressed itself in your creations over the years? How often do you reach back 40 or 50 years for a little inspiration?

EL: Growing up, I was always interested in food from a very young age. My mom Miss Hilda, who is Portuguese and French Canadian, and my dad, Mr. John, were a huge influence on my life. I learned a great deal from my mom. She taught me how to cook and that started my passion for the culinary arts. I also worked at a local Portuguese bakery while in school. I learned the art of making breads, pastries and cakes. Everything I learned early on shows up in some way in my restaurants.

EDGE: What did you learn from baking?

EL: What I learned is one of the most important foundations of my restaurants: make everything from scratch. Bread, pasta, Andouille sausage, Worcestershire sauce, ice creams, sauce—you name it.

EDGE: No shortcuts?

EL: No. There are no shortcuts.

Editor’s Note: BAM! EDGE readers can Cook with Emeril. Go to edgemagonline.com for an Opening Night recipe from Emeril’s Italian Table.

It’s that time of year again. For Sale signs are popping up everywhere you look. And once again, it’s a buyer’s market this summer. House hunters can afford to be picky, and they should be. Holding out for something extraordinary—price wise, property-wise or both—is half the fun of the hunt! When’s the best time to make your move? When the stars align and you walk into a home with some feature that blows away everything else you’ve seen. A charming front porch. A killer kitchen. The master bath of your dreams. A suburban oasis in the backyard. There are a lot of names for the house that speaks to you in that deep, intimate way. We call it the Home Run.

RECIPE FOR SUCCESS • Westfield The owners of this 1880s bungalow pulled off the impossible—a thoroughly m

Photo courtesy of Shari Holtzman

odern kitchen while maintaining the home’s Arts & Crafts charm and functionality.

VISION IN WHITE • Westfield “Heavenly” isn’t a word one uses to describe a bathroom, but in this case it’s totally appropriate. That claw-foot tub is an updated take on a Victorian classic.

Photo courtesy of Frank Isoldi

FRONT AND CENTER • Westfield Colonial Revival architecture can be kind of a yawnfest, but the curb appeal of this unusual 1920s eye-opener carries through all 12 rooms.

Photo courtesy of Irene Katz

RULE THE POOL • Scotch Plains Every homebuyer needs a tipping point. After touring the interior of this suburban contemporary, it’s the pool that says “Jump right in!”

Photo courtesy of Joan Kylish

CLOCK WATCHER • North Plainfield Technically, it would be incorrect to call this magnificent 1911 converted gatehouse a “timeless beauty.” No winding required.

BEAM ME UP • Westfield Vaulted ceilings, leaded glass, original wood planking, stone fireplaces—we surrender! It’s another gatehouse, this one constructed in Wychwood circa 1928.

Photo courtesy of Sherrie Natko

Editor’s Note: Each of these properties was on the market as of May 15, 2011. For more information contact the listing brokers. All have 908 area codes: Shari Holtzman 233–5555 ext. 210; Frank Isoldi 233–5555 ext. 202; Irene Katz 301–2892; Joan Kylish 301–2043; Sherrie Natko 233–3014.

Nothing says more about you than the interior of your home. Yet so often, we look at our surroundings and think, Is this really me? At moments like these, you may want to consider professional help. A shrink? Probably not. A designer? Most definitely. Indeed, sometimes the task of minding your manor is best left to someone with a keen and objective eye. Enter Clodagh, a legend in the design world who has worked in 90 countries and lent her talents to everything from cosmetics packaging to major hotels. Her inspirational and lifeenhancing designs feature sustainable materials and embrace Feng Shui, Chromotheraphy and Biophilia to create a signature look, structure and flow. Sarah Rossbach, a friend and colleague, connected with Clodagh in her Manhattan offices. There she manages the Clodagh Collection—an online showroom of home furnishings and accessories—and Clodagh Design, her design services studio.

EDGE: How do you feel about the old saying, Neer make friends with your interior decorator?

Clodagh: It’s the absolute opposite. The first large job I got, my client looked me up and down and said, “Come out to dinner.” Other designers had told me, “Never go out to dinner with your client!” But my client said, “I will never hire anyone for anything unless I can sit down at the dinner table and have a conversation and communicate well with them.” And that was a very wise thing.

EDGE: So what kind of expectations should each person have when they start working with an interior designer?

Clodagh: You should expect a designer to work as a travel guide to your own life. Although you may not know it, everybody possesses his or her own innate good taste. The role of a designer is to help you explore how you want to live—how you want to actualize your life in your home, how you want to see your children in a play space, so they can make a mess and have fun doing it. When working with me, you should expect to explore your lifestyle and discuss what you expect in your own home. And when I get those down into what I call a program, then I can start to design the project, and get it built and finished. I approach design using the four C’s: Contemplate your space; Cleanse your life of unwanted and unused things; Clarify your goals, needs and desires; and Create a space that is yours at the core.

EDGE: What is step one when choosing a designer?

Clodagh: The best thing you can do before interviewing designers is to go to a consultant who represents a lot of designers. That person will recommend a match for you. Or you can look at a lot of design magazines and start pulling out photos of what appeals to you, and then find out who designed them. Never analyze it—just know that something appeals to you. Hold on to this visceral reaction to the space. I think the best thing is to look at yourself, your family, your partner and really figure out how you want to live.

EDGE: At what point is the right time to start talking to an interior designer?

Clodagh: As soon as you realize you’ve done enough research yourself and you need some guidance.

EDGE: Is it okay to use a designer you find intimidating or overpowering?

Clodagh: No. Do not use an interior designer who intimidates you. You should never feel afraid to bring something up. Or have to endure a designer flouncing around telling you that you have terrible taste and an object you love “has to go.” At the same time, you do want someone strong, and you need to trust his or her taste. There should be mutual trust. It’s about the conversation. You need to be verbally compatible before you can be visually compatible. Because if you feel any tension, stress or negative reaction, or hidden agenda, it’s not for you. You don’t dictate to them, they don’t dictate to you.

EDGE: What happens when a client won’t part with something god-awful?

Clodagh: Usually the god-awful thing leaves without me having to do anything at all. If it’s been in storage, the client looks at it in the new environment and says, Oh, it doesn’t fit that well.

EDGE: You ask your clients a lot of questions before taking a job. What are the best questions a client asks you— the questions that tell you that the relationship is going to work well?

Clodagh: “Can you help me to live the way I want to live?” or “How can you guide me to have the sort of environment where I can have peace, balance and live harmoniously?” Really, the best thing a client can do for me is describe their ideal lifestyle, and then ask me how I can achieve it for them. And like any good conversation, I interject and suggest. I’m working with a client now who likes working in a really dark office. So I have to balance that darkness with enough light that I feel will be comfortable for him, position his desk properly, add the kind of color that will give the room a boost, and then go with it. And I need to temper his love of darkness with his wife’s love of light.

EDGE: Yin and yang.

Clodagh: Exactly. Another good question people ask is, “How can you do my children’s room?” I find children’s rooms to be over-stuffed and prefabricated in the parents’ mind, with little elephants painted on walls, when actually children are the most artistic creatures in the world. I love children and how their minds work. I install in their rooms chalkboards or dry point boards to use their markers on, so they can enjoy their environment. If it’s a house, I’ll make a room that’s specifically for them. It’s their room where they can make a mess and leave it if they need to—and not feel they have to clean up because Mommy or Daddy is coming. I get the joy that children feel in the spaces I design. I love that they’re empowered.

EDGE: What are the questions a client should listen for from a designer?

Clodagh: A designer should be asking you, “How can I help you live the way you want to live?”

EDGE: That’s a very spiritual approach.

Clodagh: Yes, there’s no such thing as an inanimate object. You’re working with people to achieve a spatial, visual and visceral harmony. And harmony is very hard to quantify. I sometimes tell my clients when they are choosing a chair to close their eyes. Sit in it and close your eyes and feel what’s the sensation. I find most clients focus on the visual. Susan Sontag said, “Sight is the most promiscuous of all the senses.” But in design, our other senses are equally important. So we need to explore all our feelings. For instance, we have a client in Texas who told us she has a very stressed-out life and that soaking every day in a warm tub helped relax her. So we focused a lot of energy and budget on creating an extraordinary bathroom. She brings into this beautiful space flowers and candles, and when she steps into her tub that is her time, where she releases her emotional and physical toxins. It’s a cleanse, where she regains herself.

EDGE: What do you get from creating a home that you don’t get from a corporate job?

Clodagh: With a home, if the family is happy and comfortable, they disappear. If not, you get telephone calls. With a corporate job, years down the road, people still refer to the design. People working in a large music office I designed 20 years ago still tell me how they love working in that space.

EDGE: What does a great client bring to the experience so you have a wonderful collaboration?

Clodagh: Challenge!

EDGE: In terms of interior design, what is the “shelf life” of a Clodagh job?

Clodagh: I’m having lunch today with someone whose apartment I designed 23 years ago. She and it are still going strong. Some old clients will call and ask me to freshen up my existing design after many years. They’ll invite me to have a look around, and then not allow me to touch anything. Just freshen it up. Maybe new sheets, new drapes, new shades. My feeling is good design should not have a shelf life. I work to create a timeless design.

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Well, and limit your exposure to toxins like cigarettes and alcohol. But maintaining mental fitness is often off our radar. We go to medical doctors for checkups and tests, but we’re often reluctant to make time to review and change elements in our lives to maintain our mental health. “The mind is a miraculous and delicate thing,” says Rodger Goddard, Ph.D., chief psychologist at Trinitas Regional Medical Center. “It needs our care, protection and nurturance to continue growing throughout our lives.” Fortunately, preserving and enhancing your mental health requires only a few key lifestyle changes and simple strategies. At the top of the list? Managing stress. Stress causes surges in hormones that can damage your body— and your mind. “Stress increases the cortisol level in our brains, causing the destruction of neurons,” says Patricia Neary-Ludmer, Ph.D., a psychologist and director of Trinitas Regional Medical Center’s Family Resource Center in Cranford.

The fight-or-flight surge of adrenaline that occurs when you’re stressed can cause other damage to your brain, too. “When the lower reptilian brain is aroused by excessive stress or anger, higher brain functions tend to decrease or shut down,” Goddard points out. “Stress, anxiety and depression have been shown to decrease intelligence and cognitive skills.” There are a number of lifestyle tweaks that can improve mental acuity and fight off stress, depression and other mental-health issues. Here are some of the most effective:

Eat Smart You already know a healthy diet is essential for improving your overall physical health—but eating the right foods can improve your mental health, too. Fatty foods, especially those with saturated fats, can clog arteries and inhibit blood flow to your brain, explains Neary-Ludmer. To boost your brainpower, “eat foods like fish and nuts, which are commonly referred to as brain foods.” To further boost your brainpower, consider supplementing your diet with antioxidants and vitamins. “Studies show that diets rich in antioxidants—vitamins C, E, B and beta carotene—can help us to maintain good memory and thinking skills,” Goddard says.

Challenge Your Brain Just as your body needs regular strength and cardio training to keep it in optimal shape, your brain needs a good workout to preserve its prowess. Puzzles, animated discussions and memorization exercises can help improve your mental acuity. Goddard suggests asking yourself questions to strengthen your mind. “In particular trying to discover the causes of events and asking ourselves ‘why’ questions can strengthen our mental muscle.” Neary-Ludmer recommends challenging your brain by learning a new language, or even simply trying to write with your non-dominant hand. The payoff in mental prowess will be rich. “The more we exercise our brain and keep it active, the sharper our minds will be,” Goddard says. “Mental dullness and passivity can erode mental sharpness.”

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Get a Good Workout Exercise isn’t just good for building muscles—it helps build mental acuity, too. “Exercise will increase blood flow to the brain, carrying oxygen and nutrients,” Neary-Ludmer says. A good workout plays a key role in ensuring good mental health. “Physical exercise has been shown to increase brain chemicals that improve memory, reaction speed and creativity,” Goddard adds.

Meditate You don’t have to do a full-on “just say ohm” yoga retreat—but taking a few minutes each day to clear your mind, breathe deeply and relax can have benefits beyond simple stress relief. “Meditation has been shown to increase mental focus, awareness and some thinking skills,” Goddard says.

See the Glass as Half Full Look for ways to increase the amount of fun in your life—whether it’s listening to upbeat music, limiting the amount of time you spend with negative people, or adjusting your own attitude to accentuate the positive. “Studies have shown that thinking positive, loving and caring thoughts can improve neural connections in the brain,” Goddard says.

Get a Good Night’s Sleep You’ve likely heard (and heard again) that a good night’s sleep—about eight hours a night—is essential for good physical health. But it’s also important for keeping your brain at peak performance. “Good sleep habits have been shown to improve brain functioning and mental agility,” Goddard says. Do your best to ensure you get the right amount of rest every night.

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Be Wary of Multi-tasking It may feel like your brain’s firing on all cylinders—and that you’re accomplishing more—by multi-tasking, but the jury’s still out as to whether multitasking is harmful or helpful to your mental health. “It is still unclear whether the multi-tasking demands of our modern world enhance or deteriorate mental sharpness,” Goddard says. “At least for some people, excessive multi-tasking may lead to being more scattered, unfocused and having decreased concentration and memorization skills.” If it seems like your ability to focus has diminished, consider trying to limit the amount of multi-tasking you do.

Break Out of Your Routine “It is easy for all of us to fall into ruts and experience our stress and problems as unchangeable,” Goddard says. But thinking outside the box—and moving outside your comfort zone—gives your brain the kind of kick-start you need to stay sharp. “Traveling, journaling and using personal or spiritual retreats can help us to reflect on our lives and chart new goals.” A quick getaway or a new class can be all you need to break out of the rut—and get on the road to a sharper mind. EDGE

Editor’s Note: Lisa Milbrand is a New Jersey-based writer whose articles on health and relationships appear in Parents, Arthritis Today and Modern Bride. Her blog themamahood.com celebrates the life of a working mother.

Pancreatic Cancer May Not Be A Death Sentence When we hear the words Pancreatic Cancer we shudder. And rightfully so. By the time the first symptoms develop—unexplained abdominal pain, weight loss, poor appetite, jaundice—and the tumor is picked up by a CT scan or MRI, the disease is uniformly fatal. According to Dr. Dan Ramasamy, a gastroenterologist at the Center for Digestive Diseases in Union, Pancreatic Cancer actually can be cured—when caught in its earliest stages. Early stage diagnosis is accomplished through Endoscopic Ultrasound (EUS). A special ultrasound device installed on the tip of the endoscope enables examination from the stomach through to the pancreas. With EUS, the pancreas can be visualized with high-quality ultrasound images, detecting tumors as small as a few millimeters, which can be missed by a CT Scan or MRI. According to Dr. Ramasamy, who performs this procedure, a biopsy can be taken through the stomach wall with fine needle aspiration (FNA) and sent for evaluation. If still in its earliest stage, the cancer is curable by surgery.

Smart Kids & Stupid Decisions Two recent studies, one in the U.S. and one in England, reveal that “very bright” kids are more likely than children of average intelligence to be heavy drinkers when they grow up. The studies—National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (US) and National Child Development Study (UK)—took into account religion, sex, race, ethnicity, marital status, number of children, education, earnings, satisfaction with life, frequency of socialization with friends, depression, number of recent sex partners, childhood social class, mother’s education, and father’s education—and still came up with the same results. Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist and author of Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, offered one interesting theory for this phenomenon. Intelligent people aremore likely to be “early adopters,” so it makes sense they would adopt beer, wine and distilled spirits—which are acquired tastes as opposed to evolutionary staples.

Smoking, Obesity Increase CRC Risk in Women With so much attention focused on urging men to get checked out for colorectal cancer (CRC), people sometimes forget that this is the third most common cause of cancer in women. Adding to the threat is the fact that screening guidelines are not “one-size-fits-all” for men and women. Indeed, according to a May article in Women’s Health, myriad factors contribute to determining the right screening intervals for female patients. The article also cited recent studies that have shown smoking and obesity increase the risk of CRC in women. Screening for CRC increases the chances for early detection of cancer and premalignant polyps, and also decreases morbidity from this disease.

Stamping Out Alzheimer’s The effort to understand, treat and perhaps ultimately prevent Alzheimer’s Disease depends on raising funds and awareness. In May, these goals got some help from Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulski, who introduced a resolution in the House of Representatives urging the U.S. Postal Service to issue a special stamp to help raise money for Alzheimer’s research. Mikulski’s own father was one of an estimated 5.4million Americans diagnosed with the disease. By voluntarily paying more than the normal postage rate for the Alzheimer’s stamp, people would contribute directly to the search for a new treatment or a cure.

In the wedding gown world, it’s all about the dress.

Oliver Goldsmith, the 18th century literary giant who authored the timeless comedy She Stoops to Conquer, liked to say that he chose his wife as she did her wedding gown: “For qualities that would wear well.” Had Goldsmith been born two centuries later, he might have my job—he knew that a bride-to-be’s decision-making process begins long before she says Yes to the dress. Wearability, for lack of a sexier term, is but one of the components that goes into picking the perfect gown. Here are five more:

Personal Time A bride’s personality is what I call “her story.” This is what makes her special and unique. A bride’s story should have a major influence on the look and gown she selects. I have worked with a wide range of brides. Everything from a princess bride to a fantasy bride who had wings fabricated to match her gown. Now that’s a personality!

Location Location Figuring out your wedding location actually goes hand-inhand with selecting a wedding dress. It’s important that your wedding dress and your venue are telling the same story.

Be a Calendar Girl The date or season of the year can greatly affect your choice of wedding gown. Some styles and fabrics should be ruled out simply by virtue of the fact that they aren’t necessarily friendly to certain times of year or day. For example, heavy velvet may not be the best choice for a summer ocean-side wedding. Although you may have a certain look in mind, consider the fact that you want to be comfortable and enjoy every moment of your big day.

Celebrate the Outer You When it comes to body type, I say embrace who you are. The number one question I am asked is What type of dress will be the most flattering for my body? I don’t believe in labeling, changing people or placing them in a group of predetermined shapes or sizes, and then telling them what they should wear.

Eureka Moment This is what we refer to in the show as saying “Yes to the Dress.” It is the magical moment where everything else is put to the side and the girl falls in love with how she looks and feels. At that moment, she knows the dress makes her feel beautiful and she cannot wait for her walk down the aisle. EDGE

Editor’s Note: Randy Fenoli is Fashion Director of Kleinfeld Manhattan and one of the stars of TLC’s hit series Say Yes to the Dress. His first book, It’s All About the Dress, will be published in November by Hachette.

Fashion stylists are fast achieving celebrity status. Imagine a store staffed with them.

You know the old saying It’s not the destination, but the journey? Well, when it comes to fashion, believe me, it’s the destination. The journey? A mere afterthought. Which explains why well-dressed women think nothing of devoting their most precious commodity—the better part of a day—to visit a clothing Mecca called Coco Pari, with outposts in the hip little Monmouth County towns of Red Bank and Deal. Coco is the total package, offering head-to-toe fashion and, more importantly, a point of view you won’t find in any department store. Staffed by young fashionistas bubbling with style, ready to plug a customer in and cover her act from every angle, Coco Pari has created a new breed of saleswoman-meets stylist— a funky hybrid of fashion editor and best friend. Red Bank store manager Briana, Southern transplants Sophie and Faith, playful Lauren and eye-catching Lindsay literally live, eat and breathe fashion. By day, they are consulting with shoppers on silhouettes that flatter each woman’s unique personality and style. By night, they are out and about, texting back and forth about who’s wearing what. They know the trends and they are not afraid to tell customers what looks good, even if they might not be thinking along the same lines. The ladies at Coco Pari have that “it” factor, and it radiates and translates as they work with customers from the trenches to the cash register. What pleases them the most is simply helping women achieve perfection. In the spirit of full disclosure, I should point out that the saleswoman-as-stylist approach is not the main reason why regulars make the trek to Coco to get a fresh new take on their wardrobe each season. That honor goes to Kimberly Landau, the store’s sole accessory, ready-to-wear and evening couture buyer. The sexy, rocker-chic 36-year-old hand-picks and hand-trains each fashion assassin on her floor; she has established a powerhouse retail operation with fans and followers throughout the tri-state area. The ease with which the Coco Pari sales staff pulls outfits is somewhat deceptive. Landau often stays in the store past 2:00 a.m., merchandising like a madwoman, and then game-planning with the girls before the doors open each day. Everything is clean and clarified. Because Landau does the buy, Coco customers can be completely confident that they’re looking at the cherry picked “best of the best.” It’s the key to the Coco Pari experience. “Fashion really is about building confidence for women,” notes Landau, who loves to see women elevate themselves using her store as a workshop. “Coco Pari is not for people who want to stay under the radar. Many people come here with ‘friends’ who won’t give them an honest opinion, but my employees will give it to them straight—one hundred percent.” The actual shopping experience at Coco is difficult to capture in words. To me, it’s like tumbling down Alice’s rabbit hole into a decadent, bejeweled jackpot of Jimmy Choos, Herve Legers and Christian (!) Louboutins. It’s an animal print upholstered, crystallized toy box perfectly fitting for the innermost reaches of the feminine psyche. It’s nice to know that somewhere—in between Lacrosse games, pick-ups and drop-offs, charitable nights out on the town, and everything else that finds its way onto our overcrowded calendars—you can still find a fairy godmother like Kimberly to help women transform their mood, their minds and their hearts.

Editor’s Note: Vicki McDougal is a television producer and photographer who has been working in the fashion industry for more than 20 years. She snapped the photos for this feature. Coco Pari (cocopari.com) is located at 17 Broad Street in Red Bank and at 270 Norwood Avenue in Deal.

 Summer is here. And attention must be paid! 

For those of us fortunate enough to be renting a beach house—whether it be for a few days or a few weeks—there’s no sense investing those big bucks if you’re unwilling to spend a couple more to look your best when you hit the sand. Whether you’ll be making the scene with oceanfront cocktails, hitting a charity gala at that swanky beach club, or just having a family barbecue on the sand, here are some tips to make sure your endless summer has you looking as fabulous as possible. First rule of thumb: you don’t have to get a burn to grab a perfect tan. Physicians Formula Bronze Booster Self- Tanning Bronzing Veil ($15) is enriched with 100% natural oils. It hydrates, protects and helps regenerate the skin for a smooth, flawless finish. Mimicking the effects of a deeply hydrating body butter treatment, this formula is ideal for quenching sun- and wind parched dry skin. Don’t forget to still blend a little with your fingertips after applying to ensure a streak-free finish. This product will leave your skin looking naturally tan, not orange or streaked. It’s quality luxury, and most importantly, it’s safe. Secondly, toner is essential for healthy skin in a warm-weather climate. Yon-Ka Lotion PG Toner ($26) is pretty much as naturally perfect as it gets. It rehydrates dry skin with soothing, nutritious ingredients. This aromatic toning mist is designed for semi-oily skin. It refreshes, soothes, and equalizes, and the amazing scent makes it perfect for a midday

post-beach lift. Thirdly, any summer house inhabitant worth his or her weight in Mimosa needs a quality moisturizer with an SPF. Neutrogena Oil Free Moisturizer is a modern classic that knows no bounds. It’s sheer, odorless, and packs an SPF 30 punch. Not only will it protect you from UV rays, it’ll keep your wallet intact at around $10 a bottle. I recommend reapplying as needed whenever you start to feel dryness. For the same affect on your hair, Frederic Fekkai’s Summer Hair Sun Bandana ($20) is heat-activated to protect hair follicles from the harshness of sun, saltwater and chlorine. Locking in conditioning elements, Sun Bandana is also oil-free, which is a total rarity in the hair mask product world. And it smells amazing. As for the fellas, don’t be swayed by what your buddies tell you! Harsh sun, salt water and chlorine hold the same dangers for your skin and hair as they do for the ladies, so don’t be afraid to moisturize in the manliest way possible. Jack Black’s 16 oz. Beard Lube Conditioning Shave cream ($32) is perfect for summer. It’s a light, non-invasively fragrant, pre-shave oil, shave cream and skin conditioner in one.

KISSY–KISSY No summer would be complete without a little romance, right? That being said, it’s important not to neglect your lips. The more tender the skin, the more vulnerable it is to sun damage. In this instance, it’s best to just stick with a classic. Smith’s Minted Rose Balm ($7) is pretty much as good as it gets. This balm is as smooth as Carmex without the globby, heavy feel. Incidentally, it also manages to taste refreshing and sexy at the same time, which makes it a favorite of surfers and supermodels alike. Speaking of surfers and supermodels, every great summer share necessitates at least one fabulous fete. Great bones make for a great home, for a little extra midsummer’s night flair, fill your house with gardenias and keep bowls of fresh lemons and limes on every table (a Martha Stewart secret). You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how far a little aromatherapy can take a first meeting. The next morning, en route to the beach, revisit the citrus and scrape the skin gently with your fingernails. Sounds funny, right? The Ancient Romans relied heavily on oranges, pomegranates, and other succulent and aromatic fruits to spice up any and all get-togethers. And if anyone knew how to party, it was that lot. However, while it’s always fun to embrace a When in Rome mentality, moderation is the order of the day, so sparingly massage the essence into your hair and body. You’ll be making new friends in no time at all. As the days get longer, remember that every carefree, sunny day is to be enjoyed to its fullest, and each balmy night that follows deserves a steamy story. Hopefully, between looking the part of a bronzed, summertime beauty—with help from the sun, sand, and science—this will be the most fantastic and fruitful of all your summer escapes.

Best-selling novelist Kristin Hannah discusses her new book…and the challenges, choices and rewards of parenting a high school senior.

Timing is everything. Indeed, in her latest foray into the women’s fiction market, New York Times bestselling author Kristin Hannah explores the complex dynamic created when a family with high school- aged twins opens its home to a disadvantaged teenager. Night Road unfolds during a time in the twins’ lives that challenges even the most steadfast parent: senior year. This is the story of the Farradays—mother Jude, father Miles and teens Zach and Mia—and Lexi Ball, a former foster child. When Lexi moves into the Farradays’ small, close-knit community, she quickly becomes Mia’s best friend—and, eventually, the object of Zach’s affections. But the inseparable trio’s world is shattered when a reckless decision tears the Farraday family apart, changes the entire course of Lexi’s life, and grief forever transforms Jude’s ability to be a mother. The book raises profound questions about the resilience of the human heart and the courage it takes to forgive through the haunting story of a family shattered by tragedy, and their struggle to put the pieces back together. Hannah didn’t have to look far for the inspiration she needed to infuse her book with the emotional turmoil parents experience when teenagers first begin vying for independence. She was inspired to write Night Road after experiencing the ups and downs of her own son’s senior year. “We’ve always had a really close relationship, and he’s a really good kid, but we suddenly found ourselves battling constantly about the decisions he was making and the dangers waiting out there in the world for him,” she says. “I didn’t realize until quite some time later that I didn’t sleep much that year…and I started writing Night Road when I could look back and reflect upon that stressful time in the life of any family.” Night Road’s powerful maternal force, Jude, in many ways epitomizes the term “helicopter parent” for the micromanaging role she plays in her twins’ lives. Hannah says her most recent book is much like the 2008 novel Firefly Lane (which explores the friendship between two women as they pursue the often opposing goals of fame and family) in that the story was largely drawn from her own personal experiences. “The challenges, the choices, and the questions that arose during my son’s senior year of high school really informed the writing of Night Road,” she explains. “There’s a lot of myself in the character of Jude—but then there’s a little bit of me in all of my characters. What writers bring

Photo courtesy of Deborah Feingold

to the table is a collection of our experiences and world views, our moral codes and philosophical beliefs…and all of that is often tangled up within our characters.” Like Jude, Hannah’s own personal journey was fueled by the influence of motherhood. She originally had her sights set on becoming an attorney, but when her mother was diagnosed with cancer during her final year of law school, the pair began working on a novel together. Though her mom always insisted that Hannah was destined to be a writer, she didn’t return to the uncompleted manuscript again until she was placed on bed rest during her own pregnancy, desperate for an outlet to pass the time. Jude Farraday’s tendency to always put her children’s needs before her own probably mirrors Hannah’s desire to keep motherhood the utmost priority, even if it meant putting her own writing aspirations on the backburner from time to time as she established her career as a fiction author. “I was in this interesting position of being a working mom who stays at home,” she recalls. “It did require a lot of balancing, but quite honestly I’ve always put motherhood first. As my son got older he needed me around less and less, so I’ve been focusing on my career a lot more in the past ten years.” Indeed, Hannah had already penned 18 novels, most of which delve deep into the complex relationships between women (friends, sisters, mothers, daughters) and how they guide our lives. “These are the relationships that determine how we’re going to live and who we’re going to be, and that has always fascinated me,” she says. Night Road explores the friendship between two teenaged girls and, eventually, the all-consuming passion of first love. Still, Hannah remains true to the maternal character of Jude by repeatedly averting the reader’s attention to her classic inner struggle: what it means to be a good mother. She provokes readers to reflect upon the decisions they make as parents, and how to strike that delicate balance between protecting your children and helping them spread their wings. “It’s a coming-of-age story about kids trying to break free at 18, but it’s also about how we, as mothers, try to keep our children safe,” Hannah says, adding that Night Road really is about motherhood. “Writing it did give me a lot of time to think about the decisions and challenges that 18-year-olds and their parents face. I hope the book could spark a discussion between parents and their kids.” The best piece of advice Hannah has for moms? “Remain open and honest,” she says, and “create an environment where conversation can occur.”

Editor’s Note: Special thanks to Tanya Farrell, Susan Belfer and Nicole Rotunda. Night Road was released this spring by St. Martin’s Press.

A Trio of Westfield Winners 

If at first you succeed, why not keep at it? It’s hard to remember a time when Theresa’s wasn’t around to feed families who realize they can’t make meal ends meet in between soccer and homework. Or couples who commute and, on occasion, want more than takeout rotisserie chicken and strip-mall Chinese. Or 20-somethings just off the train who are looking for a gathering place with more eats than drinks. The successful formula at this Italian-leaning, something-for-everyone restaurant on Elm Street encouraged founder and guiding force Robert Scalera to open a Southwestern-style spot called Mojave Grill, a mere blink away in downtown Westfield. Now folks craving a good bowl of black bean soup, quesadillas with punch and pizzazz, and chile-infused main courses had a downtown alternative in the same come-as-you-are vein as Theresa’s. And when it seemed there was a niche not yet explored, Isabella’s American Bistro was born in yet another storefront on Elm. It borrows culinary themes now and again from its siblings, but does have a much-loved jazzed-up meatloaf, wasabi-crusted seafood specials and a fruited bread pudding locals can’t do without. In other words, bistro style with an American-food attit      ude. An old friend from Westfield told me her four kids might have gone hungry during their high school days if not for Theresa’s and Mojave. They were at one or the other— sometimes both—every week. They’d all zero in on their favorite dishes, order and feel sated. Tara King, catering manager for all Scalera’s restaurants, says the faithful indeed do pop in two, three nights a week. And that doesn’t include lunch stops, since they all serve midday meals as well. Curious? Come dine with us then. We took in dinner at each of the Westfield mainstays to catch the individual flavor of each place. Neighborhood joints though they may be, there’s a sense of pride in the crafting of dishes that’s not always apparent in restaurants with a similar purpose and point of view. Ingredients are fresh. Stocks are made in house, not purchased in vats from food distributors. Though there are no ahead-of-time reservations to be made, there is a nightly call-ahead system that keeps table waits to a minimum. The restaurants routinely are packed to the gills, but on most occasions, there’s commendable flow from kitchen to table. Scalera’s restaurants are well run.

THERESA’S The always-smart partnership of shellfish and beans makes for a simple, yet engaging starter. Shrimp are marinated, then grilled, and plated with a white bean salad. The pair is united by a sweet flash of roasted red pepper and the herbal kick of a pesto-laced oil. Flashy and fussy? No. Soulful and satisfying? Yes. So is a local favorite pasta dish, the now-classic penne with vodka sauce. It’s so often tired and trite, laden with massive amounts of sauce that prompt giggles among teens, who think they’ll get a buzz from a sauce labeled “vodka.” Sorry. There’s a vaguely astringent quality to the spirited sauce, but what gives Theresa’s version of the dish a lift above the norm is the carbonara-like addition of crumbled pancetta and sweet peas. Potent in a non-alcoholic way. It’s possible that riots would ensue in genteel Westfield if the asiago-crusted chicken ever were taken off Theresa’s menu. Our polite server on this night said there was no chance of that. Folks love the cheese-on-cheese aspect of the dish, what with mozzarella layered in the mix. It’s all balanced by a dose of tomato and a garlicky cream sauce. If you’re looking for a sweet-tart sensation, give the balsamic-and apricot-glazed pork tenderloin a go. It’s got the appeal of something barbecued as well as a couple of hearty standbys on the side in garlic-licked mashed potatoes and a tangle of spinach. The dessert of choice? A dense, yet light, flourless chocolate cake that demands, and receives, a dollop of vanilla gelato.

MOJAVE GRILL There was a special soup on tap the night of our visit that intrigued: caramelized onion and potato, punctuated by the freshness of scallions and topped with crisped onions that have been shot through with cayenne. Of all the Scalera concepts, I’ve liked Mojave the best. There’s bolder seasoning and more of a distinctive personality on the plates, particularly on the specials’ roster. This soup crystallizes why?: The onion-potato soup is thick, rich and calls for counterpoint, which it gets in the rawness of the scallions and the heat of the crunchy cayenne’d onions. The signature black bean soup needs its jalapeno spike, as well as the luxurious lime crema, chunks of avocado and chopped, spiced tomato. Extra dimension in a dish is why we eat out, so we can experience what we might not do for ourselves at home. We tend not to make tuna ceviche at home very often, either, which is why Mojave’s faithful snag the chunks of yellowfin made brazen by ginger and pasilla chilies and then soothed by cooling cucumbers and avocado. Tune into the pulled chicken enchiladas and, if you’re in the mood for comfort food, for the ancho mole, red rice and black beans with a swath of cotija cheese and sultry crema. They’re just about as harmonic as a chorus from The Mamas and The Papas. If you’re craving quesadillas, nab the blackened chicken number that comes cosseted with a Monterey Jack-esque cheese and a generous slather of avocado-basil aioli. I wasn’t taken with the yucca-crusted grouper, a nightly special, for the grouper was overcooked, the taste of the yucca not doing a thing for the fish, and the red pepper puree overwhelming. The one-two punch of seared flank steak topped with a vigorous chimichurri hit on all cylinders, though—and it just might make you whip up your own take on the parsley-garlic-hot pepper-vinegar sauce this summer when you’re grilling a flank steak in your backyard.

As I scooped up the last of the spiced walnuts in the orange-and-arugula salad at ISABELLA’S, I sensed an impatience on the part of my dining companion. It took no special powers of deduction for me to realize my pal wanted our bacon- Cheddar meatloaf now. It soon arrived and began to disappear. I managed to score two bites and reasonable enough spoonfuls of mashed potatoes and creamed spinach, both of which benefit from gravy chunky with shallots. You’d think meatloaf is only served in this country when the moon is full on a fourth Tuesday the way some people attack slices of the stuff. There’s no denying the appeal of Isabella’s meatloaf. (Which has a lot to do with an abundance of bacon, I suspect.) While the attack on the meatloaf was taking place, I took advantage of an uninterrupted spell communing with the night’s special ravioli: pasta pockets stuffed with goat cheese and roasted red peppers, then drizzled with a vibrant tomato-pesto sauce. There’s an accord reached on the fettuccine tossed with baby shrimp, corn, sweet peas, sundried tomatoes and mushrooms, all of which is bound by a chipotle-charged cream sauce. This is vintage Scalera and what I think his restaurants do best: Take a bunch of familiar ingredients, a concept that’s not off-putting, then jazz it all up to the level of food you expect when you go out to eat. My wish for Isabella’s? That it would pair a cut of beef other than filet mignon with a crust of peppercorns. That intense coating would work much better with a chewier, heartier flavor, such as strip steak or rib-eye, than it does with a mildmannered filet. But all ends well here with a banana-studded bread pudding streaked with caramel and served with vanilla ice cream. It usually does at Westfield’s trio of winners. EDGE

Editor’s Note: Andy Clurfield is a former editor of Zagat New Jersey. The longtime food critic for the Asbury Park Press also has been published in Gourmet, Saveur and Town & Country, and on epicurious.com.

A glamorous golf getaway is closer than you think.

As a rule, it’s wise to steer clear of playing 18 holes with any golf course owner who tells you one of two things: 1) His handicap is higher than the national debt; 2) He rarely gets in a round at the course he owns. Why is it prudent to avoid such a fate? Chances are, when you walk off the 18th green and settle up, your wallet will be noticeably lighter and you’ll feel like you just spent four hours in an overgrown cow pasture. That being said, Ken Wang isn’t your normal golf course owner. And Pound Ridge Golf Club in Westchester County is hardly your normal course. “It has a sublime rhythm,” says Wang, a married father of three sons, MIT grad and brother of famed fashion designer Vera Wang. “You remember every hole individually. The course has a certain harmony and serenity.” “May and June are beautiful here,” adds Todd Leavenworth, the general manager at Pound Ridge GC, “but you can’t beat the fall. That’s the best time of year for the course.” When Pound Ridge is green and lush, it’s a sight to behold. Designed by the legendary Pete Dye, the course is about 90 minutes away from Central New Jersey. It’s distinguished by unique rock formations and breathtaking views, including several of the Long Island Sound. In typical Dye fashion, there is an exquisite logic to the course, a quality that appeals to the mathematician in Wang. “It’s hard to pinpoint my favorite holes,” he says. “I love number 7, number 10 and number 11. They are gorgeous.” Leavenworth gushes about the par-3 15th hole known as Headstone. “It’s spectacular,” he says. “There is white marble behind the green that slopes at about a 20-degree pitch. You can actually hit to the marble and have the ball roll back toward the hole.” One feature of Pound Ridge GC that golfers of all levels love is the number of tees per hole—a staple of any course designed by Dye. There are at least five tees on every hole, and some have six. “Pete is sensitive to the fact that all golfers don’t play at the same level,” says Wang. “When you play Pound Ridge from the correct tees, it’s a very enjoyable experience. The course is unusually fair to women.” There’s a good reason for that—Dye’s wife, Alice. The winner of nine Indiana Women’s Golf Association Amateur Championships, she has her husband’s ear every time he starts work on a new course. “Pound Ridge was a family affair,” says Wang. “Alice gets extremely involved whenever Pete is designing a course. She makes him more in touch with how women play the game.” “This is a really fun course for women,” he adds. “Probably more so than any other course I know.” Dye also puts a premium on exactitude. To score well at Pound Ridge GC, you have to hit the ball straight and the correct yardage. “The first time I played Pound Ridge, I felt like I had stepped into a math problem,” Wang recalls. “There’s an elegance to the course and artistry to the environment.” That’s a good way to describe the area surrounding Pound Ridge, as well. The closest neighboring towns are Bedford in New York and Greenwich and New Canaan in Connecticut. Close enough for a day trip, the surrounding area also offers enough to build a romantic weekend or ladies overnight around a round or two of golf. There are great restaurants, charming inns, lots of antique stores and all manner of shopping. Soon, says Wang, golfers at Pound Ridge GC won’t have to leave the course for a good meal. He has been working with architects on building a clubhouse. “It’s a funny project,” he says. “We’re talking about a ‘destination course’ in a residential area. We get local members and people flying in from London and Japan. We have several audiences to please.” With the current trend in clubhouse construction trending toward downsizing, Wang has shed his notions of what a traditional design looks like. Fortunately, he has a sister who knows a little bit about style. “Vera is pretty hip,” Wang says. “I defer to the higher power. She reminds me that the world isn’t filled with wood-panelled walls.” There’s always a chance that visitors to Pound Ridge GC will bump into Vera. According to Ken, she plays there severaltimes a year. “Vera is a pretty good player,” he says. “I’m probably better on the first ball, but she likes to throw down a second sometimes. She’s usually better on that one.” Ken’s sister isn’t the only celebrity who frequents the Pound Ridge area. Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins and Mike Myers are among those who claim residency in and around the town. Gere also owns a cozy place there, the Bedford Post Inn (above). While Wang prefers to stay out of the spotlight, he can’t deny the legacy he has created at Pound Ridge GC. “I didn’t use to think of it in those terms,” he says. “I started playing golf as a kid. The idea to buy the Pound Ridge property came after my father built a house in town in 1980. When we decided to turn the course into 18 holes, it took nine years to get all the approvals. Now we have a glamorous golf course that is very sensitive to the environment. It’s unlike any other course in the area. It’s nice to know that you’ve built something that will be around for a long while.” EDGE

Editor’s Note: Mike Kennedy is EDGE’s Business Editor. Born and raised in Ridgewood, he is the best golfer on the magazine staff, which is how he pulled this assignment. Mike writes often about the business of sports, and has also authored several children’s books.

Mike and Suzanne are what some would call the classic suburban power couple. They are generous, good-natured and successful. Both are fit, focused and—when it comes to sports— fearsome competitors. Naturally, their teenage sons have followed in their parental footsteps. Michael (15) is a member of a state championship swim team. George (17) is nationally ranked at two miles and a member of the winning 4 x 800 prep relay team at the Millrose Games in Madison Square Garden. Along with their growing collection of ribbons and trophies, the boys have also acquired the less than- charming adolescent swagger that comes with the realization that they can now best Mom and Dad in almost any sport they choose. One notable exception? Operating an automobile. Neither yet has the means (nor the license) to prove what, to them, is a foregone conclusion: that they are “better drivers” than their mother. This is the same woman, lest they forget, who has chauffeured them flawlessly to and from more practices and meets than they can, or she cares to, remember. Water under the bridge, Mom. It’s all about what you can do, not what you’ve done. And so it was with considerable enthusiasm that Suzanne accepted the opportunity to put her two backseat drivers in the front seat for a Family Race one Thursday evening in March at Pole Position Raceway, the indoor karting venue located near the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City. She admits she was itching to teach Michael and George a lesson as all three pulled on their helmets and strapped themselves into their karts (which—because of Michael’s age—were limited to a still-speedy 30 mph). Suzanne also admits to underestimating the fact that her sons work together like Velociraptors. With their three vehicles lined up one behind the other to start, the boys insisted she have the honor of taking the lead kart. In almost any race, both teens knew, you want your adversary ahead of you so you can choose the time and place of their ultimate defeat. In other words, she was dead meat before they started their engines. The flag dropped and the three roared into the first turn. Moments later, Suzanne found herself in third place. A nudge from George and then a stronger bump from Michael sent her into the black-and-yellow padded barrier. By the time she got back up to speed, she was playing catch-up. She never did close the gap on her sons, who showed her no mercy and gave her no daylight. They were too busy fighting for fraternal supremacy. George edged Michael at the finish line, with Suzanne a few heartbeats behind. “I should have realized they would never let me win,” she says bemusedly. “Even though I’m their mother, they will still win at any cost. The mistake I made was that I never should have started in front of them.” In the days that followed, as Suzanne returned to chauffer duties, mother and sons had something new to discuss: the fact that they were now officially, indisputably and undeniably “better drivers” than she—against a wealth of evidence still to the contrary. Suzanne reminded Michael and George that she had nearly caught up to them after they sent her into the wall. They corrected their mother, informing her that she had actually fallen a full lap behind! Shifting gears quickly, Suzanne pointed out that handling a kart at 30 mph takes considerably less skill and experience than zig-zagging through Turnpike traffic at 75 (although for the record she has never done that). Blank stares. Exasperated, Suzanne said that intentionally running your materfamilias off the road doesn’t make you a “better driver”—it makes you a dangerous one. Michael and George refused to dignify their mother’s accusations of collusion and dirty driving. Both maintain that Suzanne was the unfortunate victim of an unlucky accident. Looking back, Suzanne says the only humiliation she actually suffered that evening was being photographed on the victory stand with her boys (now both six-footers) towering over her. Otherwise, it was a tremendous experience. “It was very entertaining,” she says. “We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It’s a great place. We hung out for an hour after the race. The people there couldn’t be nicer.” Okay, down to brass tacks. In a return engagement, does Suzanne think she would avenge her defeat? “I do,” she says with a competitive smirk. And just how? “No way I’m divulging my strategy! Let’s just say that Mom’s still got a few tricks up her sleeve.” EDGE

Editor’s Note: Pole Position (polepositionraceway.com) is located off Exit 14B of the New Jersey Turnpike and is open seven days a week. Family Races are run Monday thru Thursday. Direct:

The fast-food Drive-Thru has transformed our lives. Well, that’s one way of looking at it.

Fast food giant Taco Bell recently became embroiled in a high-profile lawsuit, during which it was compelled to respond to allegations that its “beef filling”

contained— what’s the delicate way of putting this? —twice as much “filling” as “beef.” The media seized on this story, as did the late-night comics. Unfortunately, everyone missed the point: The crime is what’s in fast food, not what isn’t. “Fast food poses a huge threat to the American public’s health, along with smoking and substance abuse,” says Ari Eckman, MD, chief of the Division of Endocrinology, Diabetes & Metabolism and director of The Diabetes Management Center at Trinitas Regional Medical Center. “Fast food meals are high in fat, sugar, salt, starch and calories, and very low in fiber and nutrients.” Indeed, the convenience of grab-and-go meals is far outweighed by the dangers that await us after we make that final hard left to the pickup window. Study after study is showing that reliance on heavily processed foods could be costing us our health. In a 2005 report published in The Lancet, healthy young adults who consumed fast food more than twice each week gained 10 more pounds and had twice as great an increase in insulin resistance—a precursor to type-2 diabetes—as their healthier eating counterparts. Fast foods are rich in trans fats, those manmade fats that have been shown to wreak havoc on the human heart. “Trans fats are terrible for one’s cholesterol,” Dr. Eckman says. “It’s dangerous to eat these foods if you have high blood pressure

e or high cholesterol.” Fast food isn’t just a nutritional nightmare. With the constant push to supersize, fast food portions are warping our sense of when to say when. “People are not at all in touch with the reality of how much they’re eating,” Dr. Eckman says. “The portion sizes are encouraging people to eat more. Burgers 50 years ago were only one ounce, and now they’re six ounces. You buy a 64-ounce soda, which is a half-gallon— and contains 48 teaspoons of sugar.” As a result, Dr. Eckman maintains, our society is becoming supersized. “Over 60 percent of our population is overweight, and 30 percent is obese,” he says. “And the children’s statistics are even more mind-boggling—nine million American kids were considered obese, a rate that has nearly doubled in the last 20 years. It’s getting out of control at an epidemic rate.” Fortunately, there are measures you can take to fight back—even if you have to eat fast:

• Check the labels. Most fast-food restaurants offer nutritional information on their websites or on pamphlets, which enables you to make a more informed decision about what you order. “Try to stay away from the foods that are highest in cholesterol, saturated fats, sugar and salt,” Dr. Eckman says. “Choose low-fat options, if they’re available.” Keep in mind that that healthy salad may come with a not so – healthy dressing, so resist the temptation to squeeze the entire packet onto your greens.
•  Cut down on your portions. Avoid the push to supersize your meal—those value menus may be a better dealfinancially, but could cost you your health. “To help spread out the calories, consider eating half of it and giving the other half to your partner or taking it home for another meal,” Dr. Eckman advises.
• Turn your kids into educated eaters. The fast-food commercials—and those little plastic toys—may entice your kids into clamoring for a drive-thru run, but you can fight back. “Making a healthy dinner at home can be a fun activity you do with your kids, that can help encourage them to eat healthier,” Dr. Eckman suggests. “You can also talk with your kids about the problem of obesity and some of its long-term effects on health, so they can become educated and make healthier choices on their own.”
• Moderation. Dr. Eckman suggests limiting fast food to only one meal per week, at the most. “Enjoy it once in a while, but this really shouldn’t be a weekly or biweekly event,” he says. “You don’t want to sacrifice your health for convenience.” EDGE

Editor’s Note: Lisa Milbrand is a New Jersey-based writer whose articles on health and relationships appear in Parents, Arthritis Today and Modern Bride. Her blog themamahood.com celebrates the life of a working mother.

  At the Union County Kennel Club Show, there’s competition at both ends of the leash.

The problem with a bright idea is that sometimes it becomes a do-it-yourself project. During a fit of `insomnia last January I found myself watching a silly late-night cable show called Animal Champions. It got me thinking about what makes an “official” champion in the animal world. A few days later I assigned a writer to attend the 101st Union County Kennel Club Show—held near the southern tip of New Jersey, at the Wildwood Convention Center—and try to capture the spirit of competition in a fun and lively story. Alas, the original writer, having been stuck in one too many snowdrifts during the winter that wouldn’t quit, bowed out after hearing rumors that the top two-thirds of the Garden State Parkway might be a sheet of ice on the morning in question. With one child in college and another getting close, a gruesome highway death didn’t seem to have the same downside for me, so I agreed to go in her place. In the spirit of full disclosure, I should point out here that I am not a dog person. And they seem to know it. Even “my own” dog—the one my wife and daughters outvoted me on 3-to- 1—is careful not to irritate me. I’ll spare you my troubled history with canine-Americans. Not that it isn’t interesting. It’s just that I can’t stand it when other people yammer on about their childhood this and childhood that. Upon arriving at the convention center, I was greeted with open arms by show officials, who cheerfully tolerated me as I got my facts straight and asked a lot of stupid questions over a quick lunch. Then it was out onto the floor. My goal? Quietly observe, form an opinion, and then dig-dig-dig until I understood what it means to compete at a real dog show. What surprised me after watching several breeds go through judging was that the dogs were not eyeing one another or trying to intimidate each other, at least not that I could tell. They were completely absorbed by their work. And make no mistake, they treated it like work. It’s a job they love, of course—a champion show dog has to enjoy the experience. However, there was no interplay between the animals even when they were standing inches apart in the ring. It was a little weird, but I got it. These were the “pros” of canine competition. Whatever makes my dog run in crazed circles around vehicles exiting—but not entering— our driveway had been bred out of these animals. Still, this was a competition, with money and prestige at stake. Someone in the building was driven to win. I just had to find out whom. I decided to cruise the aisles between the different handlers. Each had a space staked out, with dogs in crates, dogs on grooming stands, and dogs on their way to and from the judging rings. An unattended Cocker Spaniel eyed me with suspicion and I returned its glance with a raised eyebrow. I hadn’t lost my touch. The animal leaped off the table and ran down the aisle in front of me, causing a brief panic. I felt bad, like I’d broken something in an antique shop. Since the dogs clearly were not going to help me, I turned my attention to the people preparing them for competition. I’m better with people anyway. Among the many top handlers and trainers present at this event was one who towered over the rest, at least figuratively. His name is Kaz Hosaka, and he is to the poodle world what Michael Jordan is to basketball. Smooth, clever, elegant and nearly unbeatable. (And he’s been on Charlie Rose, so take that other poodle handlers!) Based out of Greenwood, Delaware, Hosaka attends as many as 150 shows a year and has been honing poodles like samurai swords for three decades. You do the math. The important number is #1, and he has racked up a bunch of ’em during his career, including the #1 toy poodle in 2010. Hosaka is a “finisher” of dogs. In other words, if you think you’ve lucked into a great poodle, Kaz is the man who knows how to transform it into a champion. He won’t take a dog unless he truly believes it can be a winner. Often he must break the bad news: This is a wonderful pet, but not a show dog. That being said, Hosaka will consider animals that other handlers have turned down because they may be too difficult. “I am the last stop,” he smiles. “If I can’t do it, nobody can.” Like many in his profession, Hosaka (left) is a handler of owners, too. Most ship their dogs off like boarding-school kids, dropping in occasionally to monitor their progress at important shows. The bulk of handler-owner contact is accomplished over the phone. When one does appear at an event, Hosaka’s rule number-one is don’t come near his set-up and throw your poodle off its game. Helicopter parenting may be tolerated in the human world, but during shows it is definitely frowned upon. One owner who left her dog alone was Charlize Sutton, and the strategy paid off. Her confident little Norwich Terrier went out and blew the fleas off the competition, grabbing Best in Breed. Charlize had more pressing matters to attend to, barely acknowledging the victory. She had her nose buried in an iPad, watching Dora the Explorer. Charlize is two—by far the youngest owner I could locate, though probably not, a neighboring groomer whispered to me, the least mature. Charlize (right) was stationed in a portable playpen in the midst of a dizzying ballet involving three humans, 17 dogs and a seemingly endless array of clippers, snippers, brushes and blowers, each of which was wielded with maximum expertise and minimum effort. Her parents, Jessy and Roxanne, along with assistant Tom Durst, have a first-class operation back in Narvon, Pennsylvania, and they get paid well for the work they do. The Suttons were on a winning streak when I barged into their little corner of doggie heaven. Miles, a regal, self-possessed Rhodesian Ridgeback, was returning from the judging ring with, yawn, another Best in Breed nod. Miles looked like he could stare down a lion (which, apparently, he was bred for), and so did Jessy. He handles the working breeds at shows, while Roxanne works her magic with terriers. “We are sticklers for conditioning,” Jessy responded when I asked what gave his dogs an edge. “When an owner hires us, it may not seem cost-effective right away, but the constant work we do pays off in the long run, because we finish dogs quickly.” Is the flip side of this equation, I wondered, that owners apply a huge amount of pressure? The Suttons confirmed this after getting off the phone with Miles’s owner, reporting the Rhodie’s win within seconds of the judge’s decision. “The owners who hire us believe they should win every time,” says Jessy, adding quickly that “it’s okay, because that’s the attitude we have. We want to win every time, too. Of course, not even the number-one dog in the country wins breed in every show—if they did no one would show. It would be boring.” After talking to a half-dozen handlers I began to wonder how often owners actually show their own dogs. The people I asked offered wildly varying percentages, but I could tell the number isn’t high. Basically, owners who can afford show dogs tend to work for a living and therefore rarely have the time to show them. Those that do are more likely to participate in a weekend show as opposed to mid-week ones like this one.

It is accepted wisdom, however, that owners don’t “shine” the way top handlers do, meaning they are not as adept at pushing a dog’s best attributes to influence judges. What is the price tag for a top handler? Hang on to your teeth. To take a dog from obscurity to the Westminster Kennel Club Show can easily cost $250,000. One breeder described the animals that reach Westminster as “Yale pHd’s.” My first thought was that a quarter-million is a bargain for any kind of advanced degree from Yale, even for a dog. (And believe me, I know a few.) Then I wondered how much of that goes to the handler? The answer is a lot, but also not as much as you’d think. A huge chunk covers the endless travel and other costs that mount up at this level of the game. That being said, dog handlers with a winning track record do generate handsome six-figure incomes, especially when they work with several championship dogs at once. This was something of a revelation to me. I was frankly astounded. Although, when you sit down with a pad and paper (as I did) and actually work out the huge amounts of time and travel involved, it makes a lot of sense. They may make a nice living, but they definitely earn it. Suddenly it dawned on me where the true competition was at these shows. For my first four hours I had been looking at the wrong end of the leash. Follow the money, right? Every win is a notch in a handler‘s belt, and every notch has a dollar value attached to it. More wins demand higher finishing and showing fees, and at the big shows there is serious bonus money, too. Come away from a few shows empty-handed and the phone might stop ringing. Simply put, the real competitors at these shows are not the dogs. They are the handlers. The competition is 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It’s deadly serious, yet only in the rarest circumstances could it be considered cutthroat. You get that after you’ve talked to a few handlers. They are focused and tense and totally on their games. But they honestly adore what they do and adhere to a strict code of conduct and ethics. Apparently, there are enough owners, enough shows and enough money to keep everyone happy. Including my friends, the dogs. EDGE

You’ve probably heard that NASCAR has become a really big deal. You may even know a couple of closet racing fanatics yourself. But let’s be honest— New Jersey is hardly a breeding ground for stock-car racing talent. Well, just don’t tell that to the folks in Ocean County. Every weekend they root for one of their own, MARTIN TRUEX JR., to take the checkered flag against the likes of living legends Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon and another “junior”—Dale Earnhardt. How does a world-class racer go from the dirt tracks of South Jersey to the legendary ovals and super speedways of NASCAR? Turns out, it’s all in the family.

EDGE: Your father was a short-track racing legend in the northeast, and also the local “Clam King”—the owner of a large seafood business here in New Jersey. What do you learn from a family culture like that?

MT: Well, it’s a little bit different from what most people grow up around. My dad was a businessman who raced as a hobby, but he was very serious about it. He had aspirations of moving up and running in the big time—which he did, but he never had the equipment to drive for a living. Obviously he put a lot into it. His passion for racing is one of the things that made him successful in business, because he knew he had to make money to go racing.

EDGE: So you understood the connection between passion and work ethic?

MT: Yes, I did. My dad worked really hard so he could go racing. That’s what I learned from him, that you have to work hard for something. And that to be a racer you really have to want to do it, because there are thousands of people who want to do it, too. You won’t get that chance without working hard and taking it seriously.

EDGE: When you and Martin Sr. talked about racing, did you focus much on the danger of the sport?

MT: No. As a racer you worry about how you can go faster, how you can do better than the guy in front of you. I don’t think anyone who has raced for a long time worries about the danger of it. You’re passionate about winning, and all that other stuff is just secondary.

EDGE: How was the competition in South Jersey when you were growing up?

MT: When I was racing in Jersey it was never what I’d call a “hotbed.” There were only a few places we could go. But there was good competition. So I was able to learn the ropes and refine my techniques at a young age. That had a lot to do with why I became successful.

EDGE: Did you feel at home behind the wheel when you first began competing as a teenager?

 MT: Racing was something I was interested in long before I got to do it. The will to get into racing was there for a long time. I was able to learn a lot from my dad—I didn’t just go and watch him race. I really paid attention to what was going on. I hung out in the shop, worked on the cars and tried to learn as much as I could. When I first got into a race car it was second nature. I felt I’d been doing it all my life. It felt natural to me.

EDGE: Your younger brother, Ryan, has gotten off to a fast start in his career. Do you think you two had a similar feel for racing?

MT: Yeah, I think we did. One day he came to my father and me and said, “I want to race.” We’d never really appreciated his interest in it, but once Ryan started, we could tell that he really knew what he was doing. He had been paying attention, he had been learning—almost with no one even noticing it. Right off the bat he was fast, and right off the bat he’s been winning. When Ryan got into a car, he clearly understood racing. He’s going to be running some Nationwide races this year and he’s only 18! That tells you how quickly he’s learned and how well he’s been able to adapt to different cars in different situations.

EDGE: You won back-to-back Busch championships in 2004 and 2005. Obviously, at that point you knew you could be successful at the top levels of auto racing. Looking back, what was your Eureka Moment—the time when you first thought to yourself, “Oh, man. I can do this!”

MT: As soon as I got in [Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s] Chance 2 car in 2003, I knew right away. The first time we ran, no one was expecting much and I had a shot at winning that race. I knew at that moment that this was my opportunity, and that I had to take advantage of it. I knew we could do it. With the crew we had and the equipment we had, I knew it was possible to win. From that moment on I was able to focus on what I needed to do as a driver and as a member of a team. And I had a great team. So we went into 2004 with a ton of confidence. We knew we could win races…and we ended up winning the championship.

EDGE: At the Daytona 500 in 2010, you were right there at the end, leading the race.

MT: Yeah. We had as good a shot as anyone. We were leading right up until the end. It’s hard to be the leader at the end of the restrictor plate races because you’re kind of a sitting duck.

EDGE: That’s an example of how razor-thin the difference is between winning a race and coming in, say sixth, which you did—just a couple of seconds behind the winner.

MT: It all comes down to circumstances. It takes not only your decisions but the decisions of the other drivers to determine the outcome. If two or three other guys had made different moves, and then I had made a different move, the outcome would have been completely different.

EDGE: Do you look back and say I should have done such-and-such differently?

MT: It’s really hard to second-guess, hard to look back. Obviously I wanted to win the race—that’s what I was there for—but there were 10 or 15 guys who could have won that race! So it’s a little bit of a crapshoot. That’s just the way it goes. You don’t think too much about the past, you just learn from it—and hope you do better the next time and win.

EDGE: One of the great challenges in any sport is filling the shoes of a legend. In 2010, you were hired to replace one of the all-time greats, Michael Waltrip, a two-time winner of the Daytona 500. And you were hired by Michael Waltrip— talk about pressure!

MT: No, working with Michael has just been a blast. When he got out of the car, he wasn’t looking for a guy who was “as good as me”—he was looking for someone he thought was better, because he wants his car to run up front. To have him pick me, that was a cool feeling. To be honest, it reminded me of when I was 18 and my dad was still racing in the Busch North series. We were planning on running a few races together and seeing what happened. We ran one race and he retired. He said, “I realize you’ve got a great opportunity to do what I always wanted to do. I’m going to quit right here and put all I can behind you to get you ready to go.”

EDGE: It’s the NASCAR version of the Circle of Life.

MT: I guess. But I can’t imagine stepping out of the car and handing over the keys, per se, to someone I thought would do a better job. It just blows my mind. I love racing so much, I can’t imagine being in a position where I’d do that. And for my brother Michael, racing’s all he’s known and done. He is so passionate about it. So that really showed his true character—and made me very proud. It makes me want to do a good job for him.

EDGE: The main sponsor of your car is NAPA. Do you have much interaction with them?

MT: NAPA Auto Parts has been a huge part of this sport for a long time, so it’s an honor to drive the race car for them and be the face of NAPA. Being a part of the company, of the storeowners and employees, that part’s actually been a lot of fun.

EDGE: Does winning a race ever get old? Do you still get the same thrill you did when you were a teenager?

MT: To be honest, these days, at this level, wins are so much more difficult to come by that it’s better. The harder they are to get the sweeter they are!

EDGE: When you return to New Jersey for the holidays to visit friends and family, is there any one place that is special to you?

MT: The Jersey Mike’s in Manahawkin. My friends and I spent a lot of time in there. You know how on TV you have those restaurants the high school kids use as their hangout place? That was ours. That place will always be special.

EDGE: A lot of people who grow up in Jersey don’t truly appreciate it until they’ve left. What is it about the Garden State that you remember most fondly?

MT: The thing I appreciate, having grown up at the Jersey Shore, is the natural diversity of the state. Where I lived in Ocean County I could go five minutes and be out on the bay fishing, or go five minutes in the other direction and be out in the woods hunting. But with my family being in the seafood business and me loving to fish, the salt water is what I miss the most. Jersey sometimes has a bad reputation, but if you ask me, it’s a pretty great place to live.

Knowing how to get into the ‘best possible college’ starts with understanding what that actually means.  

We have all consumed the Kool-Aid. We all crave and covet the translucent rear-windshield sticker announcing to the community what a great job we did getting our child into a name-brand college. In doing so, however, we are committing a heresy of emphasis; we have become so obsessed with the outcome that we have overlooked the whole point of the process. As a Certified Educational Planner with many years in the trenches of the “admissions game” (as one colleague playfully refers to it), I have accumulated an abundance of two things: anecdotes and raw data. The data speaks for itself; in the end, numbers are numbers. But the anecdotes—the “data” lived out through the hearts, hands, and hormones of respiring teenaged beings—is why I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. It is this passion that is incendiary with my students; it is the invisible permission slip for each of them to permit themselves to dream of a life and future that is so meaningful, so gratifying, so spectacularly promising, that they cannot help but begin to vision what it might be. Which is why nothing makes me cringe like hearing a parent say, “WE want to apply to…” My philosophy is this: Focus on the student’s process of growth and self-discovery in the college application process, and the ideal college match will be the beautiful consequence. Your child’s “reach” school may not even be on your radar when you begin. Thus your first and most important effort should be to identify the best possible destination—not just for those four wonderful years, but for the rest of his or her life. I may be uttering heresy to those Type A’s among us (myself included) who cleave to the Machiavellian means-to-an-end mentality of Why do anything if it doesn’t get you to the next level in life? But the experts back me up. Steve Antonoff, of Antonoff and Associates in Denver, Colorado, says this about people in my profession: “The treasure the consultant has is not the list, the treasure lies in figuring out who a young person is and helping them discover what colleges will be the best fit for them.” What Antonoff is gesturing at is that a great consultant—or a great guidance counselor, or a wise mentor—will do whatever it takes to: 1) cut through the teen peer-pressure culture that oppressively enforces conformity, 2) focus on students for who they are, and 3) mirror back to them the unique gifts with which they have been blessed. In my own practice, I encourage each young person not to put his or her light under a basket, but to hold it aloft so as to illuminate the room, the school, the community and, I daresay, the globe. Only then does a true picture begin to emerge of the “best possible college.” Only then can a young person start building an application strategy to get into that school. In that spirit, consider the experiences and outcomes of the following four students…

JANET: Almost Famous Janet attended a “magnet” public high school. She excelled academically and acquired along the way a specialization, due to the unique coursework and curriculum of her specialized high school. With a friend (and following the promptings not of her single parent, but of her passion), she began a music and entertainment web site. This enabled her to obtain press passes, which she and her friend used to gain backstage access at various performances and concerts. What would have been fun and games for her peers was work for Janet. She spent countless hours preparing questions for interviews and then sitting with musicians pre-performance. But Janet’s love of this subject made this work feel like play. She would then blog about her interviews on the website, which developed a devoted readership (à la Almost Famous). When Janet came to me to select colleges, her mother was concerned about pursuing too narrow of a focus in music industry management. Herein lay the folly. While I understood her mother’s apprehension, Janet was perfectly poised, based on her industry exposure and connections to be an ideal candidate to such coveted programs as the Clive Davis Department at the NYU Tisch School of the Arts and Drexel University’s Music Industry program. These are specialized and, as such, require specialized students who  “make sense” to the admissions reader. Not only was Janet accepted to every college to which she applied, she received copious amounts of merit aid to incentivize her to come hither.

JULIA: Model Applicant Julia, a print-model blonde go-getter with a husky voice, possessed perhaps the healthiest self-esteem I have ever encountered in a young adult from a public high school. My preconceived notion of the modeling industry’s impact on a teen was that the vulnerability, competition and rejection based on the mercurial whims of anonymous PR marketers would crush a young person’s confidence and spirit. However, Julia not only developed real empathy for the outcast and socially ostracized, but a “centeredness” wherein her confidence emanated from an aquifer within. The resilience she learned from the endless industry “go-sees” amplified her determination and attenuated her fear of failure—a debilitating attribute of today’s Millennials. She got passionately involved with a buddying program that pairs special-needs adolescents with their peers. Julia shot high, landing among the stars, at a small liberal arts college that is providing her the raised academic bar that she did not always receive during her high-school experience. She is “opening it up” as they say on the Autobahn and seeing just how fast those horses under the hood can take her. Yet it wasn’t without a fight. Julia aimed very high and was waitlisted. She did not have a final answer until the summer months. However, when she received that all-important call back, she immediately seized the opportunity! Fortuitously, the waitlist situation provided an opportunity for all the eager adults in Julia’s life to clamor on her behalf to the admissions representative reading her application—evidence that the squeaky wheel does get the grease. Julia’s tenacity, her “nothing ventured, nothing gained” attitude—combined with persistence and patience—earned her acceptance to her “reach” school.

ADDIE: Academic Goddess Addie is a gifted scholar with the intellectual Midas touch. Her challenge lay in discerning a focus, as she truly excelled in every subject area—in addition to being a concert pianist and visual artist. I often wondered if she descended directly from Mount Olympus or, at the very least, possessed a divine bloodline. I encouraged Addie over the course of our two-year consulting relationship to begin to explore “insights,” those tenuous moments of epiphany in which an overlap or connection between two or more seemingly disparate disciplines collide and novel and nascent ideas are born. She researched a summer program in London that amalgamated her love of art history with her burgeoning interest in the fashion industry. Leave it to Addie to design, for her culminating assignment, contemporary street wear employing medieval monastic and Tutor-inspired hoodies for the common hip-hop man on the street! Upon her return, we explored the conundrum of the typical fashion studies program: Fashion minus intellectual rigor. The notable exception was Cornell’s Fiber Science and Apparel Design Program in the College of Human Ecology. Addie scheduled a visit, and with her stellar grades and the ideal programmatic fit, she was ushered in Early Decision and could not be more elated to this day.

ROGER: Mr. Clutch Roger is another story entirely. A lovable guy, Roger stood 5’ 5” in cleats. Conspicuously smaller than his teammates, Roger chose the topic of being the runt underdog and had lots of fun with himself throughout his personal statement. He came across as affable, humble and perseverant—three characteristics that we brainstormed during his second foot swinging session in my office’s pair of worn leather chairs. Roger also conveyed depth. His father’s work revolves around cars and Roger had developed an abiding passion for all things automotive, including a deference for Lee Iaccoca. He wrote a moving essay tying the current event of the American car-maker crisis to the future of business in America, which earned him an acceptance off the waitlist at a notable undergraduate institution with an accomplished undergraduate school of business. Roger channeled his passion and, through his voice, translated his ardor for cars and the automotive industry into a profoundly passionate plea to be admitted. He succeeded. It was a testament to colleges wanting doers a well as believers.

Pop Quiz: What’s the common denominator that enabled these kids to first identify and then successfully apply to the best possible college? If you answered passion, you have cracked the proverbial code. Bravo. Now, for the extra credit. What have you done to model that level of passion for your own student? Have you drawn out of yourself or your child a love so profound, an interest so strong that as much of your free time as possible is spent gathering information about that passion without counting the hours? Or have you encouraged résumé-padding or highlighted the “because it looks good for college” rationale? If you are raising a recalcitrant leader, soul-search as to why. Do you have the tendency to swoop in and take over school projects or science fair experiments? Do you occasionally or frequently send the message You are not actually capable of doing this yourself, therefore, I must help you? We Type A’s do so unwittingly—from the moment we tie their shoes— because we don’t have the patience to wait for them to do it themselves. And besides, it has to be a certain way, doesn’t it? If passion is the birth, then ownership is the conception. You hear your child needs a “hook” to get into college, so you steer him toward Habitat for Humanity. But can he swing a hammer? Does he have a heart for the homeless or disenfranchised? Listen intently to him. What does your child find outrageous? Enervating? Inconceivably unjust? What website (besides Facebook) does your child most frequent? Remember when he was into dinosaurs and you took him to the museum, and reread him that book ad nauseum? Remember when she loved those Pokemon characters and you listened as she recited the hundreds of different permeations she had memorized? What about that train kick, or that vampire phase? Perhaps, over time, you have fanned the flame of their curiosity. Do so now. Do so always. But avoid seizing the stick and flint and attempting to ignite it for them, because unless they can own the process, they can never fully or truly own the outcomes. EDGE

 Editor’s Note: When Erin is not authoring articles, she runs Avery Educational Resources (averyeducation.com). She also does pro bono work with children who lost parents on 9/11. A Division I varsity athlete and a competitive Irish step dancer, she holds two Masters degrees from Oxford and Yale Universities, respectively.