Business has never been better at many of NJ’s traditional wedding venues. A peek behind the scenes at the Park Savoy shows why.

Photography by Light Impressions Photography ©2012 Courtesy of The Park Savoy Estate.

Every bride begins her matrimonial journey with one thought: Make my wedding day a day to remember. There is more than a little wiggle room within that sentiment. Theoretically, you could have an unforgettable service and reception in a field of daisies, the upper deck at Yankee Stadium, a tropical resort, or your college roommate’s uncle’s backyard. To the out-of-the-boxers we say more power to you. Theory is one thing, however, and practice another. Which is why, despite all those “do-it-yourself” receptions you hear about, the demand for formal wedding halls has never been greater. It also explains why the folks who brought you Naninas on the Park—those original take-charge guys Barry Maurillo, Joe Maurillo and Vito Cucci—had over 250 weddings booked (no, that’s not a typo) just a couple of weeks after reopening The Park Savoy Estate following a $6 million renovation that began last December.

It doesn’t take an expert to spot where the money went. Every square foot of the 19th century mansion—which at various times played host to everyone from Charles Lindbergh to Jean Harlow to Lucky Luciano—was re-conceived to deliver the utmost in luxury, comfort and opulence. The entire property, indoors and out (they stopped counting at 30,000 sq. ft.), is devoted to one bride and groom at a time, and can comfortably accommodate over 400 guests. Weddings typically take place Thursday through Sunday, in the afternoon and evening, with an average of three to five a week. Guests flow from a spacious reception area and wood-paneled barroom to the veranda and landscaped grounds and ultimately to a grand ballroom. There is also a separate bridal retreat with its own martini bar (ask and the Park Savoy will create a “signature drink” for bride and groom). If you’re picturing a typical “wedding factory” then you’re missing the point. For those few magical hours, the Park Savoy is meant to feel like home. “People walk through the front door and they fall in love,” says Joe Maurillo. “They sense right away that there’s something different happening here. It’s not just the beauty of the space, it’s how we interact with them. They’re not clients, they’re family. We treat all of our guests that way. We even treat our employees like family.” All of this comes at a price, of course. The Park Savoy represents the gold standard of formal wedding venues in New Jersey, and it’s not for every budget. That being said, at roughly $135 to $250 a head, it is more than competitive in the current marketplace.

Photography by Light Impressions Photography ©2012 Courtesy of The Park Savoy Estate.

What’s on the Menu? Everyone has a different idea of what “wedding food” should be. When booking a venue, it is absolutely critical that your expectations are in synch with the kitchen’s. If chicken parm and pasta does it for you, fine, no need to pay for a CIA-trained chef. By the same token, if you expect the food at your event to meet the standards of your favorite four-star restaurant, then make that determination before you sign on the dotted line. The Park Savoy happens to have a CIA-trained chef, George Atieh. Among the favorites on his extensive passing menu are brie and pear tartlets, lobster bon-bons, grilled scallops with orange-saffron aioli, and spinach-and-feta “cigars.” Favorite main courses include porcini-encrusted Chilean sea bass, asiago chicken in a shitake-lime sauce, and a filet mignon with a secret rub (which Atieh will probably take to his grave).

The advantage of booking a wedding at the Park Savoy— or just about any other first-rate wedding hall—is that every aspect of the event is handled seamlessly by the staff. The bride and groom and their families are free to enjoy the day without sweating the details. That peace of mind can be absolutely priceless. “Our management becomes your wedding planner,” explains Sales Manager Melanie Clarke. “We have three different house bands, we have DJs, photographers, videographers, florists, and we can even make hotel arrangements for guests.” The process for booking a formal space is fairly standard throughout the industry. The initial meeting usually takes an hour and involves a tour of the facility and a sit-down with a sales manager. It’s helpful to have a few items squared away before you call, including the time of year you plan on tying the knot, the number of guests you’re considering and whether you intend to have the actual ceremony on-site or somewhere else. Be aware that every venue has a minimum and a maximum number of guests it can accommodate.

Also, afternoon weddings typically come with a generous discount, so consider that option to a prime-time evening affair. Part of the initial meeting will almost certainly involve a discussion of food. Every place has a set menu, often with a mind-boggling range of choices. Be prepared to think about hors d’oeuvres, chef’s stations, main dishes, and desserts—and whether you want waiter service or a lavish buffet. Some places will even handle your wedding cake, or at least point you in a reliable direction. If the executive chef is on hand, see if he or she can join the meeting. Often they will ask you things a salesperson won’t, and can guide you through the menu and answer questions. Most places will happily tweak their dishes to address dietary or cultural preferences. Alas, the rule of thumb for choosing a formal, do-it-all wedding venue is that there is no particular rule. It’s your day and your dollar, so pick a place that promises a memorable experience. If you get a good vibe when you walk in the door, trust it. If the chef speaks your language, listen. And if that final number is reachable, grab it and go!  

Editor’s Note: Special thanks to George Atieh of The Park Savoy Estate in Florham Park. The property’s web address is theparksavoy.com.

My 30-day affair with Twitter 

I am a cyber shut-in. I’m all about stamps and dial tones. I am an analog anomaly, the subject of eye rolls and exasperated sighs from techie teens, two of whom live under my roof. I am part of the generation whose fingers did the walking across yellow pages decades before they touched a keypad. To me, Twitter “tweets” seemed like 21st century postcards—an old idea shrouded in new technology. Go to any antique store (or to eBay if it’s easier) and read the flipsides of those ancient souvenirs. Same number of characters, same depth of thought and feeling. Am I the only one who sees this?

Apparently I am. Nevertheless, one day my inner narrator whispered, “Look how much fun everyone is having as they fast-track through the ether world. Don’t you want to have fun, too?” So with deep skepticism and almost no eknow-how, I decided that I was going to give myself one month to figure out what Twitter was all about. My first hurdle was setting up my Twitter account. I felt an overwhelming surge of prickly heat before I even found the Twitter home page. Forget it. Too complicated. I listen to my body and it was telling me in every way that this was a stupid idea. Three days later I was enjoying a meal at the home of a friend who spends a good portion of his day inside the virtual world.

Normally I don’t have much to contribute when dinner conversation requires a degree in cyber-speak. Which is why everyone was surprised when I turned the topic to my brief and unsuccessful dalliance with Twitter. A Twitter account? Really? My host chuckled and said it takes about two minutes to set up. He’d do it after dinner. And that is how I had the Senior Chairman of the Visual Effects Society, the founder of the Visual Effects Awards— the special effects supervisor of countless big-budget movies—usher me into the world of Twitter. He even wrote my first tweet: Hi – I’m here. Sadly, it was probably my best.

My next step, I was told, was choosing people to follow. By the time we said our goodbyes, I had my own account, six people to follow, one tweet (or is it Tweet, upper case?) and had already absorbed a quirky story about New Jersey’s own Danny DeVito. If you didn’t know, Danny likes to tweet. Whenever he goes someplace new, he likes to take a picture of his bare foot and post it on Twitter. When asked why he does this, Mr. DeVito replied with a shrug, “People seem to like my feet.” I verified this story (with a couple of phone calls) and it’s true; Twitter @DannyDeVito and you can see photos of his foot. With a bounce in my step and a song in my heart, I announced to my teenage sons that I had a Twitter account. Silence.

Then, in concert, “No one will follow you, Mom. You don’t have any friends.” Yes, I do. “Are they on Twitter?” No, I don’t think so. “So, who’s going to follow you?” I slumped away. Before turning in for the night, I returned to the Twitter web site and discovered the How To Promote Your Profile option. I clicked on it, started reading, and promptly fell asleep. This is not how I learn. I needed to dive right in and get my hands dirty. I posted my first solo tweet: Writing this article for Edge magazine. How to tweet? The next day I had two followers. I felt great. I was liked! So, I tried another tweet to get more people: What happened with Katy Perry and Russell Brand? Is anyone surprised? I now hang my head in shame. What an awful tweet. Asking questions? Really? I later learned this was an efaux pas. Or a faux epas.

Apparently, another breach of etiquette is tweeting a response to a dinner invitation. You text that. Texting is conversational and more intimate; tweets are statements. I learned this from watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, my guilty pleasure. Still, I had two followers, which is two more than I’d had 24 hours earlier. They looked young in their pictures, and sounded young in their tweets. I decided I should try to pull in more young adults, because they seemed to really like me. Then it hit me. Is Twitter a popularity contest? This was just the kind of garbage that went on in high school, and I was right back in it.

The only difference was that the entire world could witness my fumbling, not just a contained environment like a school. Whatever unfiltered idiocy that spilled out of my brain and onto a page would not only be broadcast for the entire world to see, but stored for eternity in some cyber-warehouse. I know that people find this kind of “immortality” appealing. I don’t. What did I have to say that was worth saying at all, much less saying in 140 characters? The question is almost metaphysical, isn’t it? So naturally I turned to my older son, age 17, for sage advice. “Write what you’re feeling, or doing,” he said. “Write something people would appreciate.” Then he turned his back on me and resumed doing his homework. The meeting was over, but I wouldn’t leave. He mumbled something about status update. “What’s that?” I asked. Now, he spun back around and glared at me. “Why are you even on Twitter?” “Because I have to,” I answered. “I’m writing a story. Can I follow you?” “No!” Other people tweet with confidence. I’m not talking about the Oprahs and Kelly Ripas of the world, celebrities who use Twitter as a tool to promote their talk shows. Or Conan O’Brian, who broadcasts mildly amusing quips. Or George Clooney’s tweet about going to a baseball game and then saying goodbye because he has to change his user name. (By the way, did you know that Lady Gaga has more Twitter followers than the Pope, the President, and Katy Perry—combined?)

No, I’m talking about average folks, like my very first follower, who sometimes tweeted three or four times a day! She followed me because she wanted me to follow her, and I did; sometimes in horror, other times in awe. My follower “friend” tweeted that her mother called her an ugly weed so that she was never aware of anything until she was older. I wasn’t t sure exactly what she meant, but it sounded so sad. My very next tweet was from Barack Obama. It said In America we don’t give up, we get up. Yes, I thought, even ugly weeds can become flowers with a “can-do” attitude. Then the President tweeted that he was going to sign the payroll tax cut extension into law. My follower tweeted I’ve been out of work so long that I’ve forgotten how to hate people. Funny, but weird! The pressure to write something great was compounding by the hour.

I was riddled with performance anxiety. I would never have the guts to say something like “Color is an intense experience on its own,” and send it off into the universe unprotected. As a rule, if I am going to say something moronic, I want to be able to see how it lands on my listener’s face (because that’s half the fun in uttering banalities) or, at the very least, be able to defend myself. Tweeting, I was coming to understand, is like the speed-dating version of a blind cocktail party. Everyone is trying to impress everyone else, with nothing to back it up. However, it wasn’t until my younger son, age 13, began looking closely at my coterie of Twitter pals that total disillusionment set in. The young and attractive blonde woman who tweeted about all the racy things she wanted to do to other people, to herself, to me was not the flirtatious scamp I imagined her to be. Nor was my other follower all she seemed to be. I had wondered why she was always telling me about all the cool free stuff she was scoring—Playstation 3, Guess jeans, gift cards from Ikea and Best Buy, and CA$H—just by clicking onto a particular website or email. “Stop!” my son bellowed. “Mom, stop!” He demanded to see my Twitter account. I handed him my phone and after a few seconds he informed me that my friends were fake. “Definitely the blonde one is fake because all she talks about is sex and it’s an advertisement.” It is? He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head. “It’s hacked,” he said. “If you see a person post a link asking you to visit it, don’t do it!”

He repeated this warning to reinforce its seriousness. He refused to tell me what would happen if I did click onto these other links. Instead, he looked me in the eye, shook his head and murmured, “It’s bad, very bad. Don’t go there.” “Okay,” I said obediently, “I won’t.” But was he absolutely sure my friends are fake? Yes. Even the first one? The nice chatty one? Noting the disappointment in my voice, he tried to soften the blow. “Well, I’m not 100 percent sure about her.” But I knew he was right. She was a fake, too. Then, to add insult to injury, follower number one dropped me while my son was holding the phone. “Snap, crackle, pop,” he smiled, “you’ve been dropped!” Of course I was dropped.

If you have nothing to bring to the table, who is going to invite you to dinner? Alas, in my month on Twitter, the most followers I had at one time was three. And near as I could tell, only one was real: ABC News. I am still waiting for the dinner invite to ABC’s house, and will text my RSVP. The fact that I even cared about the number of followers I had ticked me off. It really did stir up all those 10th grade emotions and insecurities. Three decades after completing my secondary education, I not only had slipped back into the worst part of high school, but had discovered the worst part of Twitter.

I actually felt lonelier when I was on Twitter than I did when I was off-line. As my month on Twitter drew to a close, I decided the two things I liked most about it were the news feeds and traffic updates. But, what’s the catch phrase? Oh yeah, there are Apps for that. So is there a need for Twitter? Socially, there is a place for it, but a need? I don’t think so. As a promotional tool for celebrities and event planners? Maybe. My read is that this is a moment that is happening, and people are lapping it up. It’s an easy way to be heard even if you have nothing important to say. It is freedom of speech if you can crush your thoughts into 140 characters. Perhaps, deep down, what appeals to people most about Twitter is that it is evidence that you exist.

Hi – I’m here. See, proof that I’ve lived. I tweeted a total of six times. Technically, I suppose the number was four. I did not write the first tweet, nor did I author the last one. My oldest son wrote my final tweet, and although it is something I would never say, I posted it because he finally came around and tried to help me explore this cyber world that seemed so vast and so alien to me. With that in mind I give you my final tweet exactly how my son wrote it: – omg i think i might be obsessed with this new thing called #internet shopping. “There’s a pound sign in front of internet,” I pointed out, ever the editor. “Mom, that’s a hashtag.” “What’s a hashtag?”

Editor’s Note: J.M. Stewart lives and works in Southern California. She interviewed Joe and Gia Mantegna for the Hot Stuff issue of EDGE and is working on an EQ vs. IQ feature for the upcoming Gray Matter issue.

All Photos credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

As one patient learned the hard way, time does not heal all wounds.

Henry Schroeding, a 66-year old Delaware resident, was one of the more than five million Americans who deal with chronic, non-healing wounds. He tried self-treating a leg injury he incurred in the summer of 2009, employing over-the counter remedies for about 6 months. But the infection only became worse. Schroeding then opted for professional help at two reputable wound care centers in Delaware, where he underwent various treatments, including a vascular closing and a skin graft—unfortunately without much permanent improvement. In fact, a trip to the beach the following summer resulted in the wound festering still further into a situation so serious that it could easily have become limb-threatening. Out of sheer frustration and in near panic, Schroeding resorted to doing his own research on the Internet and identified two out-of-state hospitals with highly renowned wound care centers: Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and Trinitas Regional Medical Center in Elizabeth. The Hopkins website cited a 60-70% heal rate, whereas Trinitas claimed more than 90% overall. That made the choice easy.

Within two days of his initial phone call (and much to his pleasant surprise), Schroeding had an appointment at The Center for Wound Healing & Hyperbaric Medicine at Trinitas. His attending physician was Dr. Morteza Khaladj, DPM, FACPPM, Chief of Podiatry and Director of the Podiatric Surgical Residency program at Trinitas since 2006. Dr. Khaladj assured Schroeding that the Wound Center, which opened in 1997, is acknowledged to be one of the finest in the country, having received the Robert Warriner III, MD, “Center of Excellence” award from Diversified Clinical Services (DCS) in recognition of its excellent clinical results and its record for successful healing outcomes and overall patient satisfaction.

Dr. Khaladj attributes the center’s high ranking to its ongoing research, its challenging residency program, and its internal product testing and evaluation system. “That’s what keeps Trinitas in the vanguard of healing centers,” he says. The Trinitas Wound Center specializes in treatment of very serious and chronic wounds, many of which have undergone failed treatments elsewhere. It offers therapeutic treatments using three of the latest wound technologies: • Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy or HBOT: administered typically to patients presenting with non-healing wounds from conditions such as gangrene, carbon monoxide poisoning or unsuccessful skin grafts. This involves placing the patient in a special chamber that delivers a healing 100% oxygen-rich environment through the bloodstream to the wound. • Apligraf Living Skin Device: utilizes a biological dressing produced under laboratory conditions that was first used in New Jersey at Trinitas, bringing relief to many patients suffering from limb-threatening venous leg ulcers and other types of hard-to-heal wounds. • Vacuum Assisted Closure (VAC): exerts controlled negative pressure, which helps to remove infectious material and promotes the growth of new blood vessels in preparation for successful grafting. Each patient is different, of course, but when pressed for an average healing time statistic at the Trinitas Wound Center, Dr. Khaladj indicated it typically might range from 4-6 weeks up to 2-3 months.

He affirmed that any individual suffering with a wound that shows no improvement within two weeks should be examined by a medical professional. For individuals with serious chronic conditions such as diabetes, any significant wound should be examined at least by a general practitioner as soon as possible. If the wound persists despite medical attention, then a wound treatment center should be consulted to benefit from their expertise and technologically advanced treatment alternatives. In Schroeding’s case the VAC therapy was determined to be the best treatment. After initial testing and final diagnostic assessment, he was admitted to Trinitas for a surgical procedure that involved removal of some affected muscle tissue. He continued to undergo weekly VAC treatments for the next 2 months. He also underwent a second skin graft, which this time was a total success.

Throughout his treatment, Schroeding did experience some pain, but at a level that was manageable with daily doses of aspirin and sometimes a more serious pain killer. Finally, after a total of almost 10 months of treatment, his wound was no more. As an overall assessment of his experience at the Trinitas Wound Center, Schroeding says that it was “way over 10 on a scale of 1 to 10”—and that his stay was the best time he ever spent in a hospital. “When I hit the call button, someone actually came right away. Amazing!” In short, although Trinitas was approximately 160 miles away, Schroeding gladly made the weekly 300-mile roundtrip that totaled more than 14,000 miles over his more than nine months of treatment. Dr. Khaladj adds, “Through all of our ongoing research and successful patient treatments, we know what works and what doesn’t work.” That would account for the center’s heal rate of 98%…and Henry Schroeding’s response to the question How are you doing? “Terrific!”

EDGE Editor’s Note: Henry Schroeding was interviewed while undergoing his treatment. Both he and Dr. Khaladj can be seen on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=LfjrlDVbTwQ. For more information on the Trinitas Center for Wound Healing and Hyperbaric Medicine, call 908-994-5480 or www.WoundHealingCenter.org.

When relationships go from hopelessly devoted to just plain hopeless, it may be time to talk to a professional. Psychologists Dr. Rodger Goddard and Dr. Patricia Neary-Ludmer look at the ins and outs of Couples Therapy. 

Goddard: Marriage and long-term, committed relationships pose intense challenges. They are strained by drinking, infidelity, parenting differences, stress, overwork, house-chore inequality, unresolved fights, emotional wounds from one’s childhood, anger, abuse, financial stress, instigation from in-laws, drug use, grudges and many other problems. The divorce rate in the U.S. is extremely high—estimates range between 45 and 55 percent. If you were to factor in break-ups in other committed relationships, there would be no telling how high that number might climb.

Neary-Ludmer: In isolation—in other words, just the one-on-one aspect of a relationship—couples generally communicate and connect fairly well. Otherwise they would go their separate ways. However, once they commit to each other the challenge begins. I believe most couples know how to communicate. If there is a problem, it’s likely due to the external pressures of life.

Goddard: Good communication skills are definitely essential. Couples should strive to be each other’s best friend. They need to be able to talk things out, articulate their inner feelings, and share their stress, emotions and thoughts with each other. Too often the hyperactivity of modern life, work and responsibilities do not leave time for enjoying each other’s company. Laundry needs to be washed, dinners served, children chauffeured, floors cleaned, shopping done, homework finished and hundreds of other chores carried out before affection, intimacy, friendship and romance can take place.

Neary-Ludmer: A common error couples make is focusing on building a beautiful marriage and family life without securing and feeding the foundation. They characteristically will sacrifice themselves to make sure their children’s needs and wants are being met, often at the expense of their own relationship. They forget about the importance of balance. A child needs to have parents that are happy and healthy. Otherwise the family structure will begin to crumble.

Goddard: I call it BC and AD. BC (Before Children) a couple focuses on each other. AD (After Da Kids) presents new challenges. The connection between couples now becomes a triangle pointed downward with a focus on the children. The connection between the couple can suffer. A new and revitalized couple connection needs to be reestablished and strengthened.

Neary-Ludmer: In our practices we see challenges to marriage that are very difficult and often require clinical intervention. They include coping with infertility, raising children with special needs, various types of addictions, the loss of a child, mental illness, and caring for elderly or sick parents. All of these put incredible stress on a relationship. For instance, untreated substance abuse or mental illness can be very detrimental to a marriage and family. Often it leads to lies, disappointment, betrayals and financial ruin. It causes the healthy spouse—and the family—untold pain and suffering. If the impaired spouse is unwilling to address the problem it often leads to divorce.

Goddard: Couples therapy is often extremely useful. Infidelity is an issue that often necessitates couples therapy. I enjoy doing couples therapy because it can be very easy to get a couple to remember what they love about each other, and how to treat each other special. Couples therapy is extremely helpful because it can provide a referee who lays down the rules of the game. A good therapist calls fouls and levels the playing field into one that supports both parties. Job number one is establishing guidelines for good communication. Sports and life necessitate effective game rules (e.g., no hitting below the belt, no clips, bring-downs, take-downs, or offensive fouls). It is critical for couples to focus on the specific things that they want from each other in the present and future, and not on all those horrific things that the other person did to them five, ten and 15 years ago. Too often couples get into endless nobody-wins power struggles.

Neary-Ludmer: Arguing and shutting down creates a disconnect; communication breaks off and the relationship suffers. Reestablishing that connection opens communication back up. And that happens by showing compassion and love. I believe that time is key. Make time to connect, just as you might schedule a music or tutoring lesson for your child. And protect that time. I encourage “date night”—not to focus on problems, but rather to laugh and talk and rekindle. Words are not necessary. Go to the gym together, garden together. Communication will follow.

Goddard: Among the most common important relationship problems I find is that couples often hold onto resentments, grudges and irritations with an iron grip. Another is the frustration that people feel when their viewpoint or emotions are not recognized or affirmed. It seems incredibly easy for two grown-up people to figure out who should take out the garbage on what day. And yet they do not, because… “He just doesn’t understand all the things I do around here” or “She just doesn’t understand that I need to unwind when I get home” or “He doesn’t show me decent respect when he speaks to me” or “Everything is a criticism from her” or “He is never available” …and on and on. Of course, these things need to be resolved. But a critical ingredient involves the other person feeling that their emotions, thoughts or desires are being understood. It is almost a primary motivation of ours to feel understood. When this need is not satisfied, bad things tend to follow.

Neary-Ludmer: Building a life together in today’s times requires hard work and discipline. It becomes quite the challenge to find time and energy for each other. And that work should really begin before committing to a long-term partnership. Ask yourself if you are being realistic about your relationship and being in love. Are you addicted to, or searching for, those early-on “honeymoon” feelings. Remember that falling in love is generally based on excitement, sexual energy and a desire to become one— to fill our loneliness and secure a future. Ask yourself, “Is this love? Is this really sustainable?”

Goddard: For a marriage to work, couples need to be able to “fight clean.” All too often when conflict arises, a spouse is likely to fight dirty—criticize, blame, shame and name everything the other person ever did wrong. When arguing, try to first “feed back” what you think the other person feels and wants. Change from being defensive— trying to overpower the other person, getting on the witness stand and arguing your point—to listening better, accepting the other person’s viewpoint and admitting imperfections. Let the other person feel they have a right to their emotions and what they want.

Neary-Ludmer: Almost every long-term relationship goes off the tracks at one time or another. If you’ve been doing the work all along, it’s much easier to get things back on track. Some of the guidelines I think are helpful include: • Be comfortable in your relationship…but do not take your spouse for granted. • Voice concerns…don’t build resentments. • Focus on the positives of your spouse…substitute critical thoughts with positive attributes. Remember that nobody is perfect, and the grass always seems greener on the other side. • Try to preserve trust… surviving lies and infidelity is very difficult. • Avoid trying to control…search rather for satisfying solutions that are mutual. • Allow yourself to be vulnerable…wearing emotional armor keeps out hurt, but also keeps out love and connection!  

Editor’s Note: Dr. Rodger Goddard is Chief Psychologist at Trinitas and Director of the hospital’s wellness program, which provides companies, agencies and schools with on-site programs to improve health and productivity. Dr. Patricia Neary-Ludmer is the Director of the Family Resource Center in Cranford, an affiliate of the Trinitas Department of Behavioral Health and Psychiatry.  

News, views and insights on maintaining a healthy edge.

Don’t Walk Sign Are you a sleepwalker? If so, you’re definitely not alone. New research by the Stanford University School of Medicine found that somnambulism is far more prevalent than previous studies suggested. About 3.6 percent of American adults are prone to nocturnal wandering. That translates to 8.4 million. The same research suggests that sleepwalking is linked to anxiety and depression. A subject of humor and silliness in popular culture, this disorder can actually have serious consequences. Sleepwalkers have been known to injure themselves and others. They are also prone to psychosocial disorders. The Trinitas Sleep Disorders Center deals with sleepwalking and other problems every day. For information call 908-994-8694.

Oh, Canada The never-ending legal debate over medical marijuana acquired an intriguing new wrinkle in May after a report in the Canadian Medical Association Journal on the results of a new study on patients with Multiple Sclerosis. A group of MS sufferers with muscle spasticity (hard-to-control muscles) who had not responded well to traditional treatment showed a 30% reduction in spasticity and a 50% reduction in pain after smoking marijuana over a threeday period. The side effects were hardly a surprise. Patients showed a drop in cognitive ability and experienced some dizziness and nausea. A few reported feeling “too high.” The study only looked at short-term effects on the MS patients, but results were encouraging enough to warrant more extensive research.

New Options for Hospice Care One of the greatest concerns in hospices is preventing sudden and deep depression. Standard antidepressant medications are only marginally successful in this setting, as they take time to achieve their desired effect—and time is something hospice patients don’t have. That explains the buzz at the recent annual meeting of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine when it was reported that methylphenidate and oral ketamine are showing considerable promise as extremely rapid-acting, safe, and cost-effective treatments. Ketamine in particular is a drug already used in hospices to deal with pain. According to Dr. Scott Irwin, director of psychiatry programs at the Institute for Palliative Medicine at San Diego Hospice, more research is needed. Clinical trials are problematic in hospices because of the high death rate, as well as informed consent issues.

Answering the Call A college student who lives in New Jersey has filed a patent for a smaller, less invasive implantable cardioverter defibrillator—the battery powered device used to prevent sudden cardiac arrests in people who suffer from arrhythmia. Benjamin Strauss, a volunteer ambulance crew chief, came up with the idea after two calls to the same patient in Bergenfield in a span of two months. A biomedical engineering major at Cooper Union in New York, Strauss delivered the student commencement address this past May. The one-inch square defibrillator, which he dubbed iRescue, was created as his senior project. “I wanted to do something that would enable me, at some point, to actually contribute to making people’s lives better,” Strauss explains. “And I didn’t find anything that made this kind of treatment less invasive.”

Another Link Between TV & Obesity From the “Wait, Didn’t We Know that Already?” department comes the news that kids who watch a lot of TV have poorer overall diets than kids whose exposure to television is limited. “The more TV you watch, the less likely you were to eat fruits and vegetables every day, and the more likely you were to eat things like candy and soda, eat at a fast-food restaurant and even skip breakfast,” says study author Leah Lipsky of the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. The research doesn’t prove that TV watching influences what kids eat, but strongly suggests a link between TV, snacking and a lack of exercise. Add questionable parenting to the mix and you have yet another contributing factor to America’s epidemic of childhood obesity. The average age of the children in the study was 13.

The film version of Grease—loved by some and ignored by others—has achieved classic status.

Photo credit: Paramount Pictures

Timing is everything. In the late spring and early summer of 1978, not a whole lot was competing for the attention of young people in this part of the country. Certainly, it was nothing like the summer of 1977. Lest we forget, one year earlier Son of Sam was running amok, the metropolitan area was plunged into darkness during the blackout, Reggie Jackson was the talk of the town and everyone was seeing Star Wars for, like, the fifth time. Into the media and entertainment lull of June 1978 burst the muchanticipated film version of the Broadway hit Grease. Everyone went to see it, and everyone walked out with an opinion. To those who’d seen it on the Great White Way during the 1970s—and so many of us did—something seemed a little lost in the Hollywood glitz and glamour. The fact that Danny, Sandy, the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies had been transported to the sunny suburbs of Southern California took off a bit of the edge that made the live show so much fun. On the other hand, to those who had only seen Grease performed by their high school drama club or had purchased the zillion-selling album or 8-track, the film was utterly fantastic. Looking back, what almost everyone can agree on is that, in defining the 1950s for a 1970s audience, Grease the movie defined in many ways who we were at the end of the 1970s. It was a confusing, dispiriting time of gas shortages, post-Vietnam-post-Watergate cynicism, serial divorce and unbridled narcissism. Everyone needed something uncomplicated to transport them to a time and place that clearly never existed, but was just real enough to provide a cherished escape. This was both the greatest strength of Grease, as well as its most glaring weakness. Perhaps the lyrics of Frankie Valli’s title tune said it best by saying nothing in particular: Grease is the word. It’s got groove it’s got meaning. Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion. Grease is the way we are feeling. To be sure, there was nothing particularly profound about Grease. And yet, all these years later, the movie has become a classic…and as such is deserving of a closer look.

Photo credit: RSO/Polydor

THE CAST With Hollywood musicals on the downtrend, producers Robert Stigwood and Alan Carr set out to assemble a cast that would appeal to virtually every member of the human race. John Travolta (Danny) was the reigning Hollywood heartthrob, not to mention the unofficial king of disco. Olivia Newton-John (Sandy) was the goldenthroated Australian beauty who pumped out pop hit after pop hit during the 1970s. She had a readymade international audience and also pulled an older demographic into the multiplexes. Stockard Channing (Rizzo) reminded audiences of Grease’s Broadway roots. Never mind that she and Newton-John needed spatulas full of makeup to look Travolta’s age. Jeff Conaway (Kenickie) provided another tie to Broadway, where he won raves playing Danny. Conaway offered the added advantage of being one of the stars of the critically hailed television series Taxi, which went on the air in 1978. The supporting players were also hand-picked to please. Didi Conn (Frenchy) was coming off a starring role in You Light Up My Life, where she charmed audiences as an overachieving underdog. Eve Arden (Principal McGee), Frankie Avalon (Teen Angel), Sid Caesar (Coach Calhoun), and Alice Ghostley (Mrs. Murdock) were among the many veteran actors whose names and faces were as familiar as breathing. Even Sha Na Na, the revival band largely responsible for bringing back the ’50s during the ’70s, got into the act.

THE CRITICS To devotees of the Broadway musical, Grease the movie was a pale, predictable comparison. Critical reviews were somewhat mixed, but mostly positive. It received just one Oscar nod, that for Original Song — “Hopelessly Devoted to You.” Those who liked Grease agreed that it succeeded as a sweet, fun fantasy of American teen life in the 1950s. It grossed just under $9 million the weekend it opened in June 1978, and over the years returned many times its $6 million production cost at the box office. To date the movie has grossed over $150 million in the U.S.

Photo credit: Upper Case Editorial Services

THE SONG Grease the movie reprised most of the key songs in the Broadway original, while adding three significant others, “Hopelessly Devoted to You”, “You’re the One That I Want” and the disco-inspired title track by Frankie Valli. Olivia Newton-John’s recording of “Hopelessly Devoted” soared to #3 on the Billboard charts in 1978. “You’re the One That I Want”—a duet with Travolta—topped the U.S. and British pop charts. “Grease” was written by Barry Gibb of Bee Gees fame, and was a hit on both the pop and R&B charts. “Hopelessly Devoted” was nominated for an Oscar but lost to Donna Summer’s “Last Dance”. It was also up for a Grammy but lost the Best Female Pop Vocal nod to Anne Murray’s “You Needed Me”. Newton-John had won the same award four years earlier for “I Honestly Love You”. She sang “Hopelessly Devoted” at both the Oscars and Grammys in 1979, and her performance at the Grammys brought down the house. “Hopelessly Devoted” and “You’re the One That I Want” were written by John Farrar. Farrar first worked with Newton-John when she appeared on Australian TV in the late 1960s on the American Bandstand-inspired The Go!! Show, where he was a member of the house band, The Strangers. They reunited a couple of years later at London’s Abbey Road Studios, where he worked as a studio musician on Newton-John’s string of hits in the 1970s. He wrote for and/or produced several albums for her, including Let Me Be There, If You Love Me Let Me Know and Have You Never Been Mellow. Farrar was one of several songwriters asked to submit new material for the film version of Grease, which needed more musical numbers to work on the big screen. In the 1980s, Farrar produced Newton-John’s double-platinum Physical album. In 1994, the British pop siren Sonia took over the role of Sandy in a West End production of Grease. Her version of “Hopelessly Devoted to You” turned on a whole new generation to the song, thanks in part to an edgy music video shot against an urban backdrop.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

John Travolta • Danny Zuko After Grease the law of gravity seized hold of Travolta. He began picking flops over blockbusters, famously turning down An Officer and a Gentleman and American Gigolo. He packed on a couple of pounds but kept his soft-spoken charm and good looks, which helped a resurgence that began with his Oscar-nominated role in Pulp Fiction. Since then he’s turned in memorable performances as good guys (Phenomenon), bad guys (The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3), and even a stage mom (Hairspray).

Olivia Newton-John • Sandy Olsson The sexy turn in Grease did little to impact Newton-John’s music or film careers. However, her timing couldn’t have been better a few years later when she released “Let’s Get Physical” at the beginning of the fitness boom and music video craze. In 1992, a comeback tour was derailed when Newton-John was diagnosed with breast cancer. She recovered and became an advocate for breast cancer research, adding this to a long list of humanitarian causes she has supported.

Stockard Channing • Betty Rizzo Channing’s fortunes skyrocketed after Grease —not bad considering she was in her mid-30s when she played Rizzo. Her acting résumé encompasses stage, screen and television, with countless nominations and awards, and a notable turn as First Lady Abbey Bartlet on The West Wing. J

eff Conaway • Kenickie On Taxi, Conaway played a handsome actor who could never quite catch the big break. The role was painfully close to the truth. By the end of the show’s first season he was overshadowed by the other members of the ensemble cast, including Danny DeVito, Judd Hirsch, Tony Danza, Christopher Lloyd, Andy Kaufman and Marilu Henner. Conaway spent the next two decades taking sporadic guest starring roles, before landing a regular part on Babylon 5. He gained some notoriety in 2008 when he was featured in the reality series Celebrity Rehab. In 2011, Conaway died at age 60 of pneumonia.

Photo credit: Paramount Pictures

Didi Conn • Frenchy Conn reprised her role in the unfortunate 1982 Grease II sequel, and then went on to starring roles in the TV series Benson and Shining Time Station. The mother of an autistic son, Conn became a celebrity spokesperson for Autism Speaks.

Frankie Avalon • Teen Angel Avalon appeared in a handful of films and television shows after Grease, playing himself (or some version of himself). His iconic status—and timeless good looks—helped him launch a cosmetics and skincare line. In 1987, Avalon appeared with his old buddy Annette Funicello in the movie Back to the Beach. In 2007 he crooned “Beauty School Dropout” for the finalists on the reality show Grease: You’re the One That I Want. And in 2009, at the age of 70, Avalon performed on American Idol.

Sid Caesar • Coach Calhoun Caesar stayed active in movies and television through the 1990s and beyond. In 1983, he hosted Saturday Night Live. He received a standing ovation and was made an honorary cast member in recognition of his contributions to live TV. Three years later, Caesar performed with the Metropolitan Opera. He turns 90 this September.

Eve Arden • Principal McGee Arden was a television, film, theater and radio giant long before she set foot on the Grease soundstage. Her final silver screen appearance came in Grease II. Arden passed away in 1990.

Annette Charles • Cha-Cha DiGregorio After Grease, Charles earned a handful of bit parts in television and movie productions. Although she stayed close to Hollywood, she didn’t quit her day job: speech professor at Cal State Northridge. Charles passed away from cancer in 2011 at 63.

Eddie Deezen • Eugene Felsnic Deezen’s performance as geeky Eugene established a blueprint for every film nerd that followed. Ironically, he was not cast in Revenge of the Nerds a few years later— although he is still asked about that movie on a daily basis. Deezen remains one of the busiest voiceover actors in the business. S

ha Na Na • Johnny Casino & the Gamblers Yes, they are still touring. And original members Donny York, Jocko Marcellino and Screamin’ Scott Simon are still with the band. Sha Na Na was at the height of its fame when Grease was filmed, with its own TV variety show that ran into the early 1980s. The popular front man Jon “Bowzer” Bowman went solo in the 1980s and still performs today around the country. For many years there was an urban legend that Bowzer attended Juilliard. It was actually true.

EDGE Editor’s Note: Mark Stewart attended the critics screening of Grease in 1978. He liked the new songs but didn’t think much of the movie—despite a family connection to the Travoltas.

On this night, the roasted chicken was infused with tarragon, snuggled under the skin during its time in the high-temperature oven.

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If there’s a single dish more satisfying than a properly roasted chicken, I’ve not found it. Skin crisped by intense heat and tinged with the taste of an herb, maybe subtle, maybe bold. Breast meat juiced by a little oil, a little butter, and hinting of the same thyme or tarragon that streaks through the skin. Dark meat starting to fall from bones, bones that have shared their soul, deepening and enriching what clings to them. Cavities from which you can pull extremes of flavor, perhaps strands of meat, moist to the point of almost drenched, perhaps a sliver of lemon attached to an out-of-the-way part of the bird. A roasted chicken is a contemplative dish, right for a Sunday when obligations either have been escaped or accomplished and supper can be a quiet affair that starts with all good intentions (a fork) and ends with a bit of rascally table behavior (hands) apropos for the food in front of you. Chicken soup has nothing on roasted chicken for me. I prefer chomping to sipping. Roasted chicken also brings to mind three vivid food memories, one actually experienced, one watched from a distance, one merely read about in a magazine.

The magazine account validated the culinary instincts of then-food writer, now-movie maker Nora Ephron as she traveled with friends in Europe. Passing the entrance to a small restaurant, I think it was in Italy, Ephron had the car stopped, stepped out, took a look and a sniff and said something to the effect of, “I bet they do a good roasted chicken here.” Upon which she and her party decamped and learned that indeed the restaurant did a splendid roasted chicken. The chicken-from-a-distance unfolded in a series, as I gawked again and again almost 20 years ago at the spit-roasted birds twirling about open-air markets throughout Provence. This was well before American supermarkets figured out selling already-roasted chickens would lure customers, and I was drop-jawed with awe at the spectacle. Never bought one in Provence, though, preferring to tinker around with raw ingredients. Stupid of me.

The actual experience came during a birthday trip to San Francisco a couple years ago, when all I wanted to do was lunge at chef Judy Rodgers’s roasted chicken bread salad at her Zuni Café. I did. Make whatever reservations you need – plane, train, blimp – to experience Rodgers’s perfect balance of chicken, bread cubes, greens and juices. Until Zuni, there is Verjus, in Maplewood, where roasted chicken has been on the menu since 2001, when the French restaurant opened for business, and where it might be taken more seriously than at any other restaurant in New Jersey. This is serious praise. The chef-owner Charles Tutino knows his birds. He not only roasts chickens every day Verjus is open, he roasts duck. Both often come in half-bird portions, which may seem an extreme amount of food to anyone who is not an aficionado of expertly roasted birds. The only reason I’ve ever found to stop eating once a roasted chicken (or duck) is set before me is to save something for the next day’s lunch. This requires belief in the benefits and joys of delayed gratification. When the bird is properly roasted, that is not always possible. It was not possible at Verjus. Let’s back up a bit, and give you some background as well as appetizers. Tutino is a classically trained chef who worked at French restaurants in New York before coming to New Jersey and setting up shop with his wife Jane Witkin in an understated space they decorated in a style that would mirror the food. There are cloth-covered tables, dark blond wood chairs, silver and stemmed glasses. There are, perhaps, a couple dozen tables. The scene is hushed, adult. You can converse.

Escargot, to start, are textbook, in the Burgundian manner: white wine, butter, a little garlic, parsley and anise. I adore the braised endive, a pert gratin of elegant spears bathed in lemon and sprinkled with a mix of romano and parmesan cheeses, because the vague bitterness cleanses for something richer. Like the duck liver terrine. Talk about a way with bird dishes: Tutino’s compact layering is cut deftly by his accompaniments—cornichons, cranberry compote, a slash of Dijon mustard. Though I wouldn’t restrict my starter to a mere toss of baby greens, even with Verjus’s signature barely-there vinaigrette, I admire the in-season salads here. Dandelion or morels and mache in the spring, frisée and roasted beets in the fall. Soups, too: Count on spinach in the spring, pumpkin in the fall. But roasted birds, always.

On this night, the roasted chicken was infused with tarragon, snuggled under the skin during its time in the high-temperature oven, and served with carrots glazed by ginger-charged honey and garlicky mashed potatoes. The roasted Pekin duck is positively high-toned, compared to the chicken’s simplicity, skin lacquered but not blackened by silly sweet stuff, as is too much the fashion elsewhere, and plated with black rice and braised red cabbage. There’s a flourish of saucy cranberries, a tart note expertly played. Sure there’s meat and there’s fish (beef Bourguignonne with a soothingly tame mushroom sauce; lightly crusted salmon with lentils), but what you most need to remember is there’s rosé here, from Bandol. A nice Rhone Valley red wine always does right by roasted chicken for me, but there’s something restaurant-special about real-deal pink vino with birds. I wasn’t so impressed with the desserts at Verjus—we tried a serviceable ice cream terrine anchored by fig ice cream and quince sorbet and an apple tarte tatin that, frankly, needed more apples—but I figured anyone who knows chickens as well as Tutino also might know eggs, so I came back for Sunday brunch.

Why not eggs Benedict, poached, set atop English toasts in a pool of Hollandaise? Or an omelette, with poached salmon and a pile of twice-cooked potatoes? There’s even a dessert reward at this time of day and week of very eggy crème brulée, with a suggestion of lavender. As I paid the bill for brunch, I thought about when I could return for another of Verjus’s properly roasted chickens and ducks. I thanked the server and said I’d enjoyed the eggs almost as much as the roasted birds at dinner. A gentleman at the next table leaned over and whispered a tip: “If you like the chicken here,” he said, “you’ll love the chicken salad they do at lunch. With tarragon mayonnaise and a ciabatta roll.” My eyes widened. I’d need to pick up a chicken on the way home. Couldn’t make it through the day without chicken salad.

Why Did the Game Bird Cross the Road?

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The longer I live in New Jersey, the more I am struck that it is a state of contrasts. As I drive by the belching smoke and stench of Linden’s refineries, I can’t help noticing that I am surrounded by license plates trumpeting the fact that I am in The Garden State. Wishful thinking? Not for those who venture beyond the toll roads to discover acre upon acre of corn, tomatoes, eggplant and squash, orchards of apple, pear and peach trees. To be sure, much of New Jersey may not be a fresh produce Eden. Yet to the epicurious, there are wonderful pockets of natural and sustainable farms worth investigating and patronizing. Among the state’s most praiseworthy resources are its naturally raised poultry farms, chief among them the idyllic Griggstown Quail Farm. If the ubiquitous, bland and rubbery-to-the-touch national chicken brands don’t excite you, it’s time to head out to Griggstown. Not only do they raise young succulent chicken and tasty marinated poussin, they also offer seasonal treats: Capons and Red Bourbon and natural turkeys at Thanksgiving and Christmas, pheasants and quail in the fall and winter, not to mention Mallard and Muscovy ducks.

Griggstown’s game birds are so good that at least three times a year, I drive 90 minutes to the Princeton area—a sort of culinary hadj—to stock up on pheasants, butterflied and marinated poussin, quail eggs, chicken pot pies and homemade soups. I know I’m almost there when a runaway pheasant skitters across Bunker Hill Road like a Park Avenue matron in spiked heels tearing toward a pre-sale at Bergdorf’s. Sometimes these free-range birds fly the coop and make a fast getaway, relocating into suburbia. However, it’s a sad, but delicious, fact that the majority of unlucky quail, poussin and pheasants—raised in acres of fenced-in, open-air habitats—are headed to Zagat-rated restaurants, gourmet butchers and trendy dinner parties, pleasing foodie palates around the Tri-state and beyond.

The story behind their unlucky fate stretches back over 40 years. It’s an inspiring tale plucked from entrepreneurs’ annals of vision and success. It started with a teenage lawn boy with a dream named George Rude and the farm owner, Peter Josten, who also happened to be in the restaurant business. On returning from Vietnam a few years later, Rude, then in his twenties and a game hunter since childhood, approached Josten with the idea to raise game birds as a business. Josten supplied two acres, his contacts with high-end New York restaurants and, voila, Griggstown Quail Farm was born. Today, the farm has grown to 70 acres and Rude has not rested a day since raising his first quail. His business has grown selling his produce—poussin, chicken, quail, pheasant, turkey and capons—both retail and directly to customers at farm markets. In 2002, he built a small market on the farm and in 2004 hired Matt Systema, a young chef, who trained at the Culinary Institute of America, Café Boulud in New York and the Ryland Inn in New Jersey. Chef Matt creates a range of prepared products including chicken salads, a variety of chicken sausages, turkey burgers, turkey and chicken potpies, quiches, fruit pies and homemade soups.

In addition, farm-laid chicken and quail eggs are also sold. Stay tuned, as they are building a 4,000-square-foot kitchen with bigger plans for the farm vegetable produce and someday perhaps an eat-in area. A separate off-shoot company (Rudy’s, which is owned by Rude’s brother Peter), delivers game birds nightly to gourmet restaurants that stress high quality and locavore trends. Griggstown chicken, quail and pheasants have been sighted on menus of New Jersey dining spots ranging from Eno Terra in Princeton, Nicolas in Red Bank, and Hamilton Grill Room in New Hope to The Blue Bottle Cafe in Hopewell and the Bernardsville Inn. In a rush? Today you also can find some Griggstown products such as chicken sausages, chicken pot-pies at farmers’ markets as well as at your local fine-food purveyor. Bob Sickles of Sickles Market in Little Silver has carried Griggstown products for five years. “You can’t beat the quality of their pot pies,” he says. Sickles also orders from Griggstown his family’s Thanksgiving Red Bourbon turkey, which can be purchased “oven-ready” and is a revelation in juiciness.

If you are one of the many daunted by the mere thought of cooking game birds, some—like the marinated poussin—come in air-tight bags with cooking instructions so easy that my husband, a self-professed grill-o-phobe, barbequed them with confidence and great results. (I did take five minutes off the cooking time because our grill’s heat is more intense than the norm.) Even our dinner guest, a hunter and picky gourmet famed for returning nearly every meat entrée he orders at restaurants to the kitchen, was pleased and impressed. The cook felt like crowing!

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That suburban sea of emerald lawn may make your neighbors green with envy. But birds will give your yard the cold shoulder.

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  Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Birds will do more than fill your yard with their songs. Their skills at hunting less-desirable insects and cross-pollinating plants make them the kind of neighbors you really want. Given that New Jersey is a stopping-off point for dozens of migrating species—not to mention our year-round feathered friends—transforming your backyard into an avian Welcome mat is well worth the trouble. Open lawns are rather barren and sterile for wildlife. So says Scott Barnes, the Programs Director for the Central Region of New Jersey Audubon. “The more trees, shrubs, and perennials you can plant in their place, the more likely you are to attract birds.” According to the experts, attracting your favorite songbirds requires little more than some patience and planning.

• Plant the right things. If you want to attract birds, you need to cut into that swath of green lawn—most bird experts recommend transforming at least 25 percent of your grass coverage into lush gardens to attract birds. The key, according to landscape designer Jose German, is to appeal to a bird’s palate. “Planting bushes and trees that produce berries is the first step, especially if you want to feed them naturally,” he says. “That’s the easiest way to provide the foliage, nectar, pollen, berries, seeds and nuts that many species of wildlife require to survive.” He recommends shrubs and bushes such as serviceberry, elderberry, winterberry, viburnum, blueberries and raspberries, to provide plenty of food and a place to perch. Flowers and plants also attract birds, but the key to appealing to the local bird population is selecting plants that are native to New Jersey. Consult the experts at your local garden center if you want to ensure that the plants you choose are common to your area. “The key element for anyone trying to increase and benefit birds in their yard is planting native vegetation,” Barnes says. “Native plants with flowers or berries provide important food for many species of wildlife, including birds.”
• Provide water. “Water features are magnets for wildlife,” says Barnes. Birds need fresh, clean water for drinking and bathing—whether you go with a simple birdbath or a more elaborate pond or other water feature. You should change the water in your birdbath every two to four days—or as needed to keep the water replenished and fresh. Keep in mind that smaller water features will be more likely to attract the smaller birds, and a more elaborate pond with waterfalls and multiple pools will be more likely to attract a wider variety of birds.
• Give them shelter. Birds need a place to call home— and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a prefab birdhouse from the local home improvement store. “Wildlife require places to hide in order to feel safe from people, predators and inclement weather,” German says. “You can convert your yard into a heaven for birds if plant bushes and shrubs that will feed and protect them from predators.” If you do want to invest in a birdhouse, choose one that suits the kind of bird you’d like to attract. There’s a big difference between what the robins want (a simple, covered shelf where they can build a mud nest) and purple martins (a grander, multi-roomed shelter).
• Share a snack. While many birds can thrive on insects and fruit, others are looking for a different kind of feast— and an appropriate feeder can help you attract the birds you want, and avoid the pesky squirrels you don’t. “Selecting the right seed and the right feeder is important,” says German. “For example, nyger seed is high in calories and oil content seed, loved by finches and other wild birds. It is really small, so squirrels and big birds are not attracted to it.” The Audubon Society recommends using a variety of targeted feeders and feed mixes—such as a special hummingbird feeder stocked with one part sugar to three parts water—to attract the greatest variety of birds to your door.
• Keep it au naturel. While chemical fertilizers and weed killers may make your lawn look golf-course perfect, they can damage the environment and the birds that live there. But fortunately, there are techniques for keeping your lawn lush without harming the environment. “You can have a beautiful lawn without all of the chemicals,” German says. Step one is having your soil tested to determine its composition, so you can develop a specific plan of action to amend the soil for a healthier lawn. Aeration is also key, especially if your lawn is heavily traf
  

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  ficked. “Organic fertilizers are highly recommended at the beginning and the end of the landscaping season—it should be rich in organic material, like compost or compost tea,” German recommends. And to help control weeds, German suggests overseeding the lawn. “A thicker lawn reduces the opportunities for the weeds to grow.”

• Go a little wild. Letting parts of your backyard become a bit overgrown and not-so-manicured—including allowing a few weeds into the mix—can help support a larger and more varied bird population. Long native grasses offer seeds and shelter for various birds, and other weeds can attract certain species. “A weedy garden with plant stalks and seed heads to search for insects in will help attract hummingbirds,” Barnes says. Leaving some dead leaves and twigs can help foster nest building for birds—or provide homes for insects. “A decayed trunk is good because it will host caterpillars and insects,” German says. Consider it a smorgasbord for your favorite feathered friends.
  

  Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

  

  Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

RARE BIRDS Beyond creating a safe and inviting habitat for birds, perhaps the biggest reward for the backyard birder is spotting a rare or exotic species from the back porch or kitchen window. Some are year-’round residents of the Garden State, but many more are merely visiting on their way north or south. It is an absolute certainty that, at some point, you will spot species you’ve never seen before and want to know more about them. So expect to familiarize yourself with the local Audubon web site, and buy a couple of field guides. Your largest additional investment is likely to be a new pair of binoculars. A lot of “backyard birders” keep them hanging by the kitchen sink or living room picture window. In recent years, optical companies have produced an overwhelming number of binoculars aimed at the bird watching market. Once you’ve completed your backyard project, it’s time to go shopping for a new pair. What are the rules for sorting through so many choices? Stick to these pointers for your first pair and you should be in good shape:

• Pick a magnification. Unless you have a multi-acre property, 7X should do just fine.
• Read online reviews. Pay particular attention to comments about the quality, brightness and sharpness of each model. This is what you’re paying for, right?
• Do you wear glasses? If so, some designs are friendlier than others. Rubber eyecups typically don’t work as well as turn-and-lock eyecups. Glasses-wearers also tend to find compact models problematic.
• Pick a price point that suits your family budget. If you need a new refrigerator, don’t spend $1,200 on binoculars. Price is determined largely be quality. The “mid price” for good binocs is around $300. If you want to test the waters with a cheaper pair, that’s okay—there are some decent ones available on sale for $50 to $100. Just know that you may be making another investment in a year or two. In terms of brands, you can’t go wrong with Bushnell or Nikon—and at the higher end of the spectrum Zeiss, Leica and Swarovski—but do 10 minutes of research before pushing the BUY button.

Better yet, instead of buying online, find a store that carries the models you’ve pinpointed as possibilities and try them in person. There is no right and wrong way to hold binoculars—everyone handles them differently. Feel the shape and weight in your hands, sense how they fit your face, and trust your instincts. This is especially true if you wear glasses.

Genius loves company. That may be the simplest way to account for one of 2012’s most ambitious and successful album releases, Let It Be—a reinterpretation of Beatles classics by Roberta Flack. For someone whose musicianship covers every genre from Classical to R&B to Jazz, however, nothing is simple about the 12 songs that made the final cut. Each one is like taking hold of Flack’s hand and finding a new walkway through lyrics and melodies that are as familiar to most of us as breathing. As Tetiana Anderson discovered, for the fourtime Grammy winner it’s all about the journey. Indeed, from Flack’s early years as a music prodigy through the twists and turns of a fascinating and celebrated career, she has become quite adept at discovering the path less taken. And, the title of her new album notwithstanding, Roberta Flack has never been one to simply let it be.

Photo courtesy of Roberta Flack

EDGE: You really want people to make connections through your songs. Where did that come from?

RF: I don’t know where that came from. But I can tell you that connecting through songs is what I am all about, period. I was watching recently some footage of Bill Cosby introducing me at a jazz fest back in the ’70s. He was telling the audience that Roberta Flack tells stories so you can understand them. I think that is a true description of how I feel about music. It speaks to me. I try to speak back and once I get the conversation going—and figure out what the whole point is—I’m ready to dig in and come up with a very individual interpretation of a particular song.

EDGE: Your own story is incredible. You were the youngest person to ever enroll at Howard University, and later the first black teacher at an all-white school. Do you think of yourself as someone who breaks barriers?

RF: No. But I do believe in destiny and fate. If you are practicing five or six hours every day—and that’s all you live for as a child because there are no other options—if you are able to grasp that and hold onto it, it will tell you where you are supposed to go. I did go to Howard early. And I did become the first black teacher at an all-white school in Chevy Chase, Maryland, which was a little tighter wound in terms of the people and their personalities than Virginia. When you’re a child and you have the gift of music, the gift of art, the gift of conversation, nothing stops you.

EDGE: What impact did the church and gospel have on your appreciation for music?

RF: I belonged to an interesting church and my mom was the church organist. The choir director was a Howard University graduate, and many of the choir members were people who had graduated Howard or gone to school with him. That church, as we would say as young kids, was “uppity.” It was uppity because the church that Mahalia Jackson, Sam Cooke, the Soul Stirrers and the Five Blind Boys visited was not our church. That was Macedonia Baptist, down the street. I spent a lot of time as a young person going between churches. Actually, the first genre of music I was exposed to was not gospel music; my background was actually classical. But I loved gospel. What is there not to love? It doesn’t have to be something where people are shouting. It can be a song’s subtle embellishment, it can be the malisma that Whitney Houston brought to her pop music. Melisma is a gospel characteristic when you take a note that’s supposed to be da and go dahahahahahaha and add all those other notes up and down the scale. That is a beautiful experience and it’s also very moving. Your soul cannot help but be stirred when you hear Aretha Franklin sing “God Bless the Child” or “Amazing Grace.”

EDGE: Do the classical works of Chopin and Bach give you the same goose bumps as gospel?

RF: Yes. Yes. I can play some Chopin for you that would make you say Girl, that ain’t Chopin! I’ll tell you who uses the melodic flow of romantic composers like Schuman, Brahms, Chopin, Shubert and Beethoven: Stevie Wonder. When you hear him sing, when you hear him play any of those songs that are so melodic, like [singing] A Ribbon in the Sky for our love…he does a lot of that.

EDGE: You worked on songs with Stevie Wonder but are perhaps best known for your partnerships with Donny Hathaway and Eugene McDaniels. What did you learn about the craft from those two?

RF: I was humbled by their talent. I’ve been watching a performance Gene and I did in the studio of a song that Gene wrote for an Eastern Airlines commercial. It was called “Chasing the Sunshine.” How clever is that as a title? This is the same guy who wrote “Reverend Lee,” “Feel Like Making Love” and “Compared to You.” He was a profound writer, Gene McDaniels. Absolutely, absolutely brilliant. Donny and I cut “You’ve Got a Friend” in 20 minutes, which isn’t hard to understand. I am a musician, not just a singer, so you don’t have to teach me something. I have the presence of mind and the ambition and the appreciation for my craft to sit down and practice. So I practiced, came to New York, and Donny and I did “You’ve Got a Friend,” which went to the top of the charts. So they said Let’s do an album. Okay, so the next thing we did was “Where Is the Love.” Donny and I finished that first album in three days! I should say that I did whatever Donny asked me to do as a duet partner. In terms of putting it together, sketching it out, bringing all the pieces together so that everybody understood what was happening—that was Donny, that was the kind of mind he had. Three days.

EDGE: You accompanied Donny on piano on the classic “For All We Know.”

RF: Yes. When we finished that album the producer asked, “Ro, you got another song?” I said, “Donny do you know this song?” He said, “Yeah I know the song but I don’t know the words.” So I wrote down the lyrics of “For All We Know.” I played it and he sang it and we recorded it. You know, I had really cut my chops as an accompanist. I’d played piano while I was teaching school in DC at the Tivoli Opera Restaurant. I mean we were doing Aida and Madame Butterfuly, we were doing Tosca and La Traviata and Verde and Chelini. Oh, it was just so wonderful. Here I am this little girl from Black Mountain, North Carolina. I’d never read that stuff but my musicianship, my gift—thank you, God—allowed me to do it with the same kind of comfort that I’m playing for Donny. I just looked at him and listened to the way the song was developing. When we did that together it was one of the highlights of my recording career.

EDGE: You also worked with Bob Marley. How did you meet? What was he like?

RF: Beautiful. Fine. Sexy. He was a friend. We were both Aquarians. I am on the 10th and he’s on the 6th. When he got sick I was so upset. I lived for seven years in Jamaica accidentally. That was part of that Eastern Airlines – Gene McDaniels thing. Part of my payoff from the airline was to close my eyes, pick from their map any place, and my finger landed on Montego Bay. I stayed for about two days and said, Now I want to go to Kingston. I was with a couple of guys. We went to Kingston and ran right smack into some Rastas who said, “Sistren let me take you, let we go see brother Bob.” So he and I became friends and as a matter of fact I brought down later my band and we went into his studio and worked on “Killing Me Softly.” Then I came back to the States and recorded it, and of course that was a hit for me, too. But Bob was a wonderful friend. He spent several hours in my apartment in New York sharing musical ideas and good vibrations and was just a beautiful person. When he was sick I tried to find some holistic doctors for him to see. I was able to introduce him to a few, but it was a little bit past the time where they could help.

EDGE: You’ve seen more than one great talent leave this earth before their time, whether its Bob Marley or Whitney Houston. That’s got to be tough for you.

RF: It is tough. I think about it especially since Whitney died. I think about it a lot. A couple of days ago I found myself rattling off names of people that I have known and worked with, or knew musically in a very special, intimate way, who are gone. I said, Okay I gotta stop this. You start to feel your own vulnerability.

EDGE: You mentioned “Killing Me Softly,” which went to number one. What do you recall about that?

RF: When “Killing Me Softly” was released as a single I was performing in Germany. My one source of Englishlanguage entertainment was the army base radio station. I had it on and woke up to Well, here it is again, Roberta Flack’s next big single, Killing Me Softly! I remember thinking Oh, boy! But at the end they finished by repeating “…killing me softly with his song” over and over and then fading out. I said “No, that’s not it!” I called the producer and asked, “What did you do?” He said, “Oh I just faded it.” I said, “No! No! No!” He said, “Man, only like a million three hundred fifty thousand of these have been sent out all around the world. Can’t you live with that?” I said, “No.” So they changed it.

EDGE: Let’s fast-forward to your new album. One of the interesting things about the Beatles is that they evolved so rapidly and had such a huge effect on popular music. When you went back and sorted through their catalogue of songs what are the things that made you go Wow?

Atlantic Recording Co./David Redfern

RF: When I was looking at “I’m Looking Through You,” which is the first song we laid down, there is the line Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight. Disappearing overnight. Every time I sing that it makes me almost want to cry, because love does have a nasty habit of vamoosing overnight. You can be ever so intense and sincere and real, then all of the sudden it’s like Who is this person? What am I into? I’m married to who? What and why did I do this? Because the love you thought you identified as love was something else, and wasn’t based on something that could stand all the pressures of being, of becoming, Roberta Flack. I was married to a wonderful bass player who worked with Roland Kirk, the great jazz horn player. Roland thought I was a great musician and he’d say, “Ro, come on, you need to play some jazz girl. Come on.” My husband said to me one day, “You can’t do this, because if you do, you’ll change.” I asked him, “How will I change?” He said, “I don’t know, but women always change.”I told him I wasn’t going to change, that I’d been playing the piano and singing and helping other people play and sing all my life—so this is just another format, another audience. I’m doing it. I want to do it. He said, “If you do, we can’t stay together.” I said, “Okay. Bye. See you later.”

EDGE: You chose your music.

RF: Of course! How could I not? I had no choice. I wasn’t selling my body. I wasn’t prostituting. I wasn’t doing anything except making music, which I had been doing all my life!

EDGE: So back to the Beatles, is what grips you their lyrics?

RF: No, it’s everything.

EDGE: How did you decide which songs to include and which to cut?

RF: It wasn’t easy. I listened to myself and I listened to my heart mostly. I think if you’re a trained musician like I am, or like Alicia Keyes or Stevie Wonder or Donny Hathaway, it helps. You have the ability to see how a song is built from the bottom up. And after you see the song and you fall in love with the song, then you get inside of it and break it down again. It’s an incredible process.

EDGE: Still, the process took five years.

RF: Yes, well the longer I worked on the songs the simpler they became, and the easier it became for me to hear them in their finality. Even though I hadn’t finished them, I could still hear what was going to be the final song. I could hear my voice singing the lyrics and singing the melody and putting it all together, and the accompaniment underneath. I wanted mostly guitars, because I think of the Beatles as guitarists. There were three major players in their band—John, George and Paul—so I wanted it to have that sound.

EDGE: Do you think songwriting and popular music has changed dramatically since the Beatles were around?

RF: It has to. Can you imaging doing the Hand Jive? Can you imagine doing the Charleston? Can you imagine every song sounding like something Billie Holliday had to sing? Weren’t we glad when Esther Phillips came out and sang “What a Difference a Day Makes?” The world must evolve and everything must change, especially music. If it doesn’t, where do we go? I can’t imagine doing all of the Beatles songs the way they did them.

EDGE: I have to ask—you crossed paths fairly often with John Lennon when both of you had apartments in the same building on Central Park West. Were you buddies?

RF: He invited me to the studio, and I did work with him a couple of times on stage and stuff like that, but it was never like buddy-buddy. It wasn’t buddies, no.

EDGE: So what’s next for Roberta Flack?

RF: I really wish I knew what was next. I have an album of songs I’ve done with a group of young people. We all call ourselves the Real Artist Symposium—symposium meaning a group of very musical people. We’ve come up with an album we want to release under the title: Real Artist Symposium featuring Roberta Flack. Not because I want to be featured, but because using my being a member of the group will attract interest and people won’t have to look at something and say What’s RAS? Maybe they’ll be curious enough to check out the music of these other young artists who are with me. I’ve done some of the music already and I am excited about it.  

Editor’s Note: If Tetiana Anderson’s name is familiar, it’s probably because her face and voice are, too. A television reporter who has chased storms for the Weather Channel and covered Operation Iraqi Freedom from Baghdad for MSNBC, Anderson is currently a freelance reporter/ producer for organizations including NY-1, CBS Newspath and CNN. Needless to say, she knows her way around an interview.

The only people crazier than celebrity-obsessed fans are the dog-obsessed fans of celebrities. They drive countless web sites and have created a new breed of photographer: The Pup-arazzi. We kid you not. EDGE invites you on a walkie with some of the world’s most celebrated dog owners…and unleashes its picks for history’s greatest canine celebrities.

Five Fascinating Celebrity Dog Owners

Jessica Alba

Breed: Pug

Names: Sid and Nancy

Fun Fact: Owns a third dog named Bowie

Peter Dinklage

Breed: Undetermined

Name: Kevin

Fun Fact: Point Pleasant native gave a shout out to his dog-sitter during Golden Globes acceptance speech…but forgot to thank his manager

Angelina Jolie

Breed: Bulldog

Name: Jacques

Fun Fact: Resisted overwhelming temptation to get a Pitt Bull

Barack Obama

Breed: Portuguese Water Dog

Name: Bo

Fun Fact: Malia’s allergies dictated a hypoallergenic breed

Photos: Timmy & Lassie autograph courtesy of Upper Case Editorial Services; Barbra Streisand copyright 1966 Time Inc.

Barbra Streisand

Breed: Coton de Tuléar

Name: Sammie

Fun Fact: Streisand and her dog Sadie graced the cover of LIFE in 1966

Honorable Mention

Ellen Barkin

Breed: Who cares? Could there possibly be a better celebrity dog-owner name!

Burning Question What about Bob Barker?

Top 5 Celebrity Dogs

Toto

Breed: Cairn Terrier

Claim to Fame: Appeared in The Wizard of Oz and 11 more films

Did You Know? Made more per week than the highest paid Munchkin

Rin Tin Tin

Breed: German Shepherd

Claim to Fame: Made 25 movies and had his own radio show

Did You Know? Rinty scored a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame

Balto

Breed: Siberian Husky

Claim to Fame: Annual Iditarod traces the path of the 1925 journey that saved Nome from a diphtheria outbreak

Did You Know? Has a statue in NY’s Central Park, near East 69th street

Lassie

Breed: Collie

Claim to Fame: Lassie TV series ran for 20 seasons

Did You Know? First dog to play Lassie was named Pal

Photos: Timmy & Lassie autograph courtesy of Upper Case Editorial Services; Barbra Streisand copyright 1966 Time Inc.

Eddie

Breed: Jack Russell Terrier

Claim to Fame: Offended Frasier Crane in every imaginable way

Did You Know? During the show’s 11-year run, Eddie was played by Moose and his son, Enzo

Enters a New Dimension

Labib E. Riachi, MD, Interim Chairman of OB/GYN at Trinitas, has the distinction of being one of the busiest robotic surgeons in the Northeast United States. He has completed over 250 robotic cases during the last two years.

Doctors ‘Doubling Up’ with the da Vinci System Two heads are better than one. That old saying holds especially true when the topic is robotic surgery. The da Vinci Surgical System, which enables doctors to sit comfortably at a console and operate remotely with incredible dexterity and precision—and a super-magnified 3-D view—has proved invaluable for a wide range of minimally invasive procedures since arriving at Trinitas Regional Medical Center in 2009. Indeed, during that time, Trinitas has become the busiest hospital on the East Coast for gynecological surgeries using the da Vinci, not to mention the first place in New Jersey where robotic bariatric surgery was ever performed. Beyond the headline-generating benefits of da Vinci, however, is the growing realization that the system‘s dualconsole set-up creates a stunning array of new possibilities both for doctors and patients.

For example, if a complication arises during an operation, a second surgeon can literally “sit in” and assist in his or her specialty without missing a beat. “We also have realized that the two consoles enable us to schedule ‘hybrid’ procedures, where two surgeons work together at once,” says Dr. Labib Riachi, Interim Chairman of the OB/GYN Department at Trinitas. “With a single console, one surgeon would have to step away to allow another surgeon to step in. With two this is not an issue. The benefit to the patient is immeasurable.” Another advantage of having two consoles is in training doctors in robotic applications. “While one surgeon performs a procedure,” Dr. Riachi explains, “the other can appreciate both visually and manually what we are doing. There is also amazing simulator software that enables trainees to teach themselves on a ‘virtual’ patient.”

All of this happens, he adds, in three dimensions—with 10X magnification and 360-degree rotation. This enables doctors to identify structures (such as small blood vessels and nerves) they couldn’t fully appreciate with traditional laparoscopic methods, and also perform suturing more efficiently. According to OB/GYN physician Dr. David Herzog, who uses the system for a number of procedures, including hysterectomies, the da Vinci has truly revolutionized surgery. The movements of the robotic instruments perfectly mimic the surgeon’s hand movements, allowing doctors to cut, cauterize and sew with the same freedom as if the patient were wide open. “The robot has allowed us to perform complex surgeries through tiny incisions which, in the past, would have necessitated large, painful incisions,” Dr. Herzog explains. “These tiny incisions make the recovery process quick and comfortable. So in the case of a hysterectomy, this enables my patients to return to work usually within one week, as opposed to eight weeks after the classic incision procedure.” The technology is constantly improving, he adds. “And that translates into excitement for the doctors and great care for the patients.”

Trinitas psychologists Dr. Patricia Neary-Ludmer and Dr. Rodger Goddard get to the bottom of getting steamed.

Goddard: Anger is a serious issue. Stories of road rage, shootings, domestic violence, workplace assault and bullying fill our airwaves. Movies and television shows are populated with dangerous, angry, vengeful, criminal characters. Anger, aggression and violence are ever-present in our lives. Anger fuels violent crimes, rapes, murder and war. The model of dealing with threat that we see in the media is one of threatening back, upping the ante and retaliation. We often ascribe to the Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry Go ahead make my day school of conflict resolution.

Neary-Ludmer: We become angry when we—or someone we care about—is threatened, or when another person has wronged us or those we care about. Anger also can be the result of frustration when our needs, desires, goals are not being met, or when we feel a lack of control.

Goddard: We may experience anger in dealing with our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers and work relationships. We experience anger in our bodies, thoughts, urges, heart and soul. Anger can express itself on a continuum of intensity ranging from annoyance, tension, dislike, frustration and resentment, to fury, rage, aggression and violence. Anger makes us do and say horrible things. Anger makes the heart pound and thoughts race. Anger infiltrates our daily lives in the form of stress, frustration, dissatisfaction, anxiety, argument, discomfort, illness and relationship problems. Anger is unhealthy. It takes a toll on the quality and quantity of our lives. Living with chronic states of anger injures our immune system and contributes to heart disease, stroke, ulcer, stomach problems, headaches and countless other illnesses. We hold anger in our bodies. It leads to subtle and sometimes intense muscle tightening that we may have for days, weeks or years. Many of us have favorite body areas for holding our anger. We may constrict the muscles of our lower back, forehead, neck, jaw, face or stomach. We can begin to reverse the negative effects of anger by first learning how to tell how tense our muscles are, and secondly, by learning how to release our muscles tension.

Neary-Ludmer: One of the ideas I try to convey to the people I see with anger issues is that anger does far more damage to them than to others. I try to explain that it’s okay to forgive—it doesn’t mean you have to forget. Just breath in, breathe out, and move on. Often I will use quotes to help people understand their anger. There are three in particular that are really effective. Buddha said that holding onto anger is like “grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else—you are the one who gets burned.” Gandhi observed that “an eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.” And Ralph Waldo Emerson pointed out that for every minute you remain angry, “you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind.”

Goddard: Anger and frustration often come from not being in control—not getting something we want or not getting our way with others. Regaining control in our lives is an important key to overcoming chronic anger. Many people do not understand the difference between anger and aggression. Anger is an emotion. Emotions and anger are actually good. Emotions are a sixth sense. They tell us very important things about ourselves and others— what we want and what we need. Emotions, however, can be used, experienced or expressed in positive or negative/constructive or destructive ways. Aggression, on the other hand, is a negative action that is harmful, destructive, threatening and/or violates the rights of another. Anger can give us important messages and can be positive fuel which can provide us with the motivation and energy to make needed changes.

Neary-Ludmer: There are some basic steps involved in getting anger under control. First, a person with anger problems has to admit he/she has a problem. This is a fundamental step in addressing virtually all self-destructive behavioral issues. Next, a person needs to learn relaxation techniques that target the emotional and psychological components of anger; feelings of anger protect us from other more vulnerable feelings, such as hurt, insecurity, anxiety or fear. Part of anger control also involves learning to challenge the thinking that creates hostility and inflammation. Finally, a person with anger problems must develop the positive communication skills of assertiveness and conflict resolution.

Goddard: Two skills that I give to my clients and audiences concerning anger are the MAD skill and the SURF Method of Assertion. The MAD skill involves, M for Muscles Relax, A for Ask Nicely for What I Want and D for Do Not Insult or Drop It. SURF Assertion involves S for Specifics, U for Understanding, R for Repetition and F for Firmness or Find a Compromise.

Neary-Ludmer: Knowing how to deal with someone else’s anger is also a valuable skill. Rule number one is to remember that it takes two—do not take the bait! Do not respond to anger with anger in kind, or it could set off an escalation process that could turn violent and even deadly. Adopt a non-escalation policy by being the emotionally mature person. For instance, if a driver believes you slighted him by cutting him off, taking his parking space or looking at his girlfriend, defuse the situation. Apologize even if you don’t mean it. You never know whom you may be dealing with. Be the bigger person. Show empathy for their feelings.

Goddard: If someone you know has serious difficulty with managing anger, there is no quick or easy solution. Confronting this type of person can definitely be dangerous and is often not helpful. Chronic aggression or anger indicates a serious problem and needs to be dealt with by getting professional help.

Neary-Ludmer: Something that has definitely hit the Anger Management radar in recent years is the role technology plays. Rage-induced emails, texts and tweets require the mere tap of a Send button and they are on their way. Many a job, marriage and friendship have been lost over impulsiveness with this type of technology—not to mention the legal problems this communication can cause. If you are angry, don’t hit Send. Reread, rethink, reconsider, sleep on it. Chances are you won’t send it.

Goddard: The point is not to eliminate anger, but to understand and manage it. Anger is an important part of life. Anger is fuel, energy and power. Like any hot and powerful energy we need to learn how to handle and channel it. We can get a message from our anger, control it, embrace it and use it in positive ways. Or, we can let it control us, take us over and allow it to injure our health and relationships. Dealing productively with anger necessitates building self-calming, assertion and anger management skills. The next time you get angry try identifying exactly what you want and use the MAD skill or SURF Method of Assertion to calm down, relax your body tension and get what you need from yourself or others.

Neary-Ludmer: To deal successfully with anger, it’s also helpful to recognize a few of the myths about it. Anger isn’t inherited. The expression of anger is learned. That’s good news, because it means that appropriate ways of communication can be learned, too. Intense anger does not automatically trigger aggressive behaviors. One can develop skills to challenge hostile, negative or irrational feelings and beliefs. And contrary to earlier beliefs, “venting” anger in aggressive ways—such as screaming or punching a pillow—is not a good idea. It merely reinforces aggressive behavior.  

Editor’s Note: Dr. Rodger Goddard is Chief Psychologist at Trinitas and Director of the hospital’s wellness program which provides companies, agencies and schools with on-site programs to improve health and productivity. Dr. Patricia Neary-Ludmer manages the Family Resource Center in Cranford, an affiliate of the Trinitas Department of Behavioral Health and Psychiatry.

What’s Up, Doc?

News, views and insights on maintaining a healthy edge. 

Smoking While Pregnant: Are Friends Actually Foes? Most people are aware that smoking and pregnancy don’t mix. Yet expectant mothers continue to puff away, or live in smoking environments. A recent study published in the journal Addictive Behaviors looked at some of the reasons this situation persists. It was no shock to find that nearly half of pregnant women who smoke had a partner who also smoked. It was a surprise, however, to find that women who had close friends that smoke were far more likely to smoke themselves. In fact, the influence of friends was actually higher than the influence of family members. The study, conducted by researchers at SUNY Buffalo from 2006 to 2011, will continue, and focus on generating data on the children of pregnant smokers.

 Cold or Allergies? One of the toughest calls for a parent to make is whether their runny-nosed child is fighting a spring cold or suffering from spring allergies. Both can involve sneezing and congestion, making that call even trickier. Knowing some basic differences can help parents decide how to proceed. For example, the severe part of a cold only lasts a few days; allergic symptoms tend to persist. Allergies are often accompanied by itchy eyes, while colds are not. According to the Children’s Hospital in Boston, if you suspect your child is suffering from a seasonal allergy, close the windows, turn on the AC, vacuum your rugs and carpets, and consider running a humidifier or non-ionic air purifier. Kids with bad allergies should also shower after playing outside, so as not to transfer pollen to pillows, where it will irritate them all night long.

Good News on Concussions If you happen to be a hockey fan, you know that NHL superstar Sidney Crosby nearly lost his entire season to a concussion. What finally helped him get back on the ice was the diagnosis and treatment of a soft-tissue neck injury that accompanied the concussion. This was no surprise to the doctors at the MMTR Health Clinic in Guelph, Ontario, which has been treating hockey concussions for years. They have found that many symptoms attributed to the lingering effects of a concussion actually correspond to specific neck muscles damaged at the time of the original injury. Once treatment is individualized and the muscles repaired, patients experience speedy postconcussive recoveries.

 The Skinny on Modeling Role models play a key part in the world of eating disorders, with skinny fashion icons ranking among the major culprits. In Israel, a law passed recently dictates that models appearing in advertising must have a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 18.5 or more. A media storm ensued, with critics of the law saying the government should aim its efforts on health as opposed to weight. Indeed, some models now disqualified are naturally skinny and completely healthy. Should they be prevented from earning a living without knowing whether they are actually unhealthy in some way? The Israeli government points to statistics that show 1 in 50 teenage girls suffers from an eating disorder, and stands by its position.

Is There an Autism Epidemic? A March study released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 in 88 children born in the U.S. suffers from a disorder on the autism spectrum. The last study estimated the ratio to be 1 in 110 and one done in 2002 suggests that the number of autistic children has doubled since then to around one million. Does this mean there is an “epidemic” of autism? Most doctors and researchers believe this is not the case. Instead, the numbers reflect better diagnostic screening tools and earlier detection. There is no “test” for autism, such as a blood test; it is detected through observing behavior of children typically around the age of eight. “One thing the data tells us with certainty,” says CDC Director Dr. Thomas Frieden, “is there are many children and families who need help.”

  …there’s not necessarily a way when it comes to estate planning for pets.

Trouble, they say, comes in all shapes and sizes. When Leona Helmsley passed away, Trouble came with a $12 million price tag. That was what Helmsley bequeathed to Trouble, her cherished Maltese. Leona’s grandchildren convinced a judge to slash that figure to $2 million, but Trouble still managed to live out his dog days in the lap of luxury at that bargain-basement price. Nothing, it seems, ruffles the feathers of one’s heirs quite like money diverted to pet care. The amount of media play the Helmsley case received only underscored this point. Not surprisingly, the result was a surge in pet estate planning. New Jersey attorney Rachel Hirschfeld happens to be an authority on the subject. She was one of the first attorneys in the country to focus on what is now known as Animal Law. “I have done contracts for dogs, cats, birds, iguanas, snakes, ferrets and other exotic pets, and I have done contracts for whole African Safaris and Cat Colonies,” she says.

Hirschfeld even does estate contracts for horses, though she says these can get tricky due to their expensive care and their space problems. Hirschfeld moved the focus of her estate-planning practice in the direction of pet trusts and pet protection agreements about seven years ago, and now offers both counseling and document preparation to help pet owners protect their four-legged loved ones. She writes up some 200 agreements and trusts a month. Hirschfeld has appeared on numerous television programs, including ABC Nightline and The Today Show. She is also regularly quoted in media outlets ranging from The Wall Street Journal to Fox News to The New Yorker. Hirschfeld’s book (Petriarch: The Complete Guide to Financial and Legal Planning for Pet’s Continued Care) was published in April 2010 and sales remain robust two years later.

Donald Trump called it a “terrific guide.” Hirschfeld’s mission is to ensure that every pet finds a loving home and is guaranteed a secure future. That commitment began around the time she lost her beloved dog, Soupbone, in 2005. A decade earlier, she had saved the two-year-old mixed-breed from being euthanized. “He changed me,” a wistful Hirschfeld recalls. “He was funny and so smart. We talked to each other and he never left my side. He was just so human.” While mourning Soupbone’s demise, Hirschfeld began wondering what might have happened had the tables been turned? Who would take care of her pets if she were no longer around? This dilemma led her to what she describes as her most important life’s work.

She has created the Pet Protection Agreement and the Hirschfeld Trust, both legally binding protection contracts for a pet’s continued care. Although some attorneys think that including provisions or directions in a will for a pet’s care will suffice, Hirschfeld stresses that intentions in a will do not have to be followed, and can be negated by probate of a court. In fact, she advises that more than one guardian be named in a trust to prevent misappropriation of funds or other abuses. “By naming several guardians, a close eye can be kept on how directed monies are spent,” she says, adding that a pet protection agreement or a pet trust is the “ultimate love letter to beloved pets.” The difficult part of the process for pet owners is the emotional one. “Most clients worry that whoever they appoint as guardian won’t love their pet the same way they do,” she explains. “I had one woman who wanted to name her husband as guardian to her much-loved pet, but he refused. The distraught woman soon found a horde of people willing to take on the responsibility, including her close circle of girlfriends, the owner of the corner store she frequented, and her doorman. Her husband oversaw the funds, and the care was in the hands of a whole community of people who loved both the woman and her pet.” A mother of three and grandmother to five, Hirschfeld adds that she loves people, but all animals hold a special place in heart. With a dog at her feet, another at her side, and a cat curled up nearby (all are rescues) she speaks about her work with great conviction and fervor. “I aim to make every animal’s life better,” she says.

Editor’s Note: Rachel Hirschfeld is pictured above with Swizzle and Adam, both rescue dogs. She has been working with Asbury Park Mayor Ed Johnson and Councilwoman Sue Henderson to create a year-round area where dogs (and their owners) can socialize. The Pet Protection Agreement, once the province of the rich and famous, is now affordable and can be completed online—without a lawyer—for as little as $39. A Pet Trust Agreement is a bit more involved, and like all trusts, requires funds. To get your paws on more information, log on to pettrustlawyer.com.

Jim Dratfield will do anything to get his shot.

Jim Dratfield and Sawyer

Jim Dratfield has been known to sing an aria to an Italian Greyhound, rub shoulders with a cheetah and transform a bathroom sink into a photofriendly backdrop for a finicky house cat. “I’ll do whatever it takes to get an animal to respond,” says Dratfield from his farmhouse in upstate New York. “I don’t expect animals to be models.” Improvisation comes easily to this former actor who has been called the Dr. Doolittle of animal photographers. His theatrical career hit a prophetic note in 1980, when he was cast as an aspiring photographer in a Broadway revival of The Man Who Came to Dinner. Born and raised in a pet friendly household in Princeton, Dratfield spent his childhood performing and mingling with aspiring filmmakers, many of whom were protégés of his dad, Leo, a legendary film distributor. Anxious to advance his acting career, young Dratfield landed a recurring role as a paramedic on TV’s St. Elsewhere, but reality set in as he approached his thirties. “The life of an actor is a funny thing,” Dratfield says. “It’s one thing to struggle as an actor in your twenties, but when you’re in your early thirties, it becomes more of a concern. I was fortunate to have done a Broadway show and some television work, but there’s something called waiting tables—I ended up doing a lot of that.”

Jennifer Aniston and friend

The turning point came when he shot some promotional photos with his dog, Kuma, opening the door to a lucrative new career. “A light bulb went off,” he says. “I’d always loved animals and photography and began wondering if there was a market for fine art pet photography. I thought it might be a way to help support my acting habit.” Dratfield exhibited some of his photos in the restaurant where he waited tables and caught the eye of a literary agent. “She liked the pictures on the walls and was a dog lover, so we started talking,” Dratfield recalls. The Quotable Canine, a coffee table book pairing dog portraits by Dratfield and Paul Coughlin with classic quotes, was published by Doubleday shortly thereafter. In 1993, Dratfield’s passion for animals and photography coalesced into Petography, Inc. He grew the business via private client commissions, more best-selling books, a prestigious gallery exhibit and evergreen posters, calendars and greeting cards.

It didn’t take long before he became the go-to guy for pet lovers in the entertainment industry, politics and sports world. “I think it launched me because it was such a specific niche and so different from what was out there at the time,” he says. “What do you get the person who has everything and is a pet lover? A photo session!” Dratfield’s private clients and book projects keep him hopping across continents, from the elegantly manicured enclaves of Beverly Hills to the volcanic terrain of Iceland and the wetlands of Yeehaw Junction, Florida. A client flew him down to Yeehaw Junction, aka Jackass Junction, to photograph a prized hunting dog. “It was like something out of Deliverance,” he recalls. “The ranch manager, Peanut Pitt, couldn’t meet me because he was taking his daughter deer hunting for her 14th birthday; so his wife, Spanky, met me at the gate. I called my wife and said, ‘If I don’t come back alive…’” Although he’s suffered his share of bites, scratches and knock-downs from his four-or-more-legged subjects, Dratfield finds pet owners to be challenging as well. “There was the therapist who was French kissing her dog in bed and wanted pictures of that,” he says. And a pair of renowned folk art collectors suggested posing their dogs drinking out of a toy toilet. “The craziest shoot I ever did was for a woman who had two cheetahs,” recalls Dratfield. “I went into this gated area with her and the cheetahs, and was a little nervous. One rubbed up against me, but I got the images.

Three weeks later, the woman was mauled by those cheetahs. I’m lucky I survived. I got them on a good day.” Dratfield’s celebrity gigs have taken him to Henry Kissinger’s backyard, where the shirtless statesman fussed and cooed over his black Lab while his wife, Nancy, and mother stood by. And there were jaunts to London to photograph British Labour Party Leader Baron Roy Hattersley’s Bull Terrier and to Jupiter, Florida, to shoot the St. Louis Cardinals with their dogs during spring training. While the furry companions of such mega-celebrities as Jennifer Aniston, Elton John, Kathy Bates, Charlize Theron, Jack Hanna and Oscar de la Renta can be found on Dratfield’s résumé, he is equally proud of his painstaking work on The Quotable Equine. For this exquisite book, published by Clarkson Potter in 2003, he insisted on travelling across Europe and Asia to photograph horses in their distinctive habitats. “With horses, it’s hard to get their personality the way you can with a dog or a cat,” observes Dratfield. “I thought the only way I was going to succeed was to take a cultural element and incorporate that into the imagery.” Whether he’s zooming in on a quizzical pug or a doleful dachshund, an ant farm, turtle or elephant, Dratfield believes that one constant fuels all of his photo shoots: the profound bond between pets and their owners. “You get unconditional love from pets that you don’t get anywhere else,” he says. “If a person is normally uncomfortable in front of a camera, when they’re holding their pet, they’re less self-conscious and more apt to give you something spontaneous because they’re expressing their love.” “I’ve done shoots for the biggest CEO; but when he’s out of the board room and around his little kitten, he’s making kitty noises and talking gibberish. People let down their guard with me. I ultimately see their best sides because they love their pets.”

Dratfield has no regrets about giving up acting for Petography, Inc. because he’s continually reminded that his life’s work makes a difference. “I get calls when a client’s animal passes away. They’ll say, ‘Your pictures meant a lot to me at the time, but now they’ll immortalize my pet in a way that I didn’t even realize.’ That makes me feel good because I’m not doing brain surgery, but I know I’m doing something that gives people contentment.” 

Editor’s Note: You can see more of Jim’s photos by logging on to petography.com. Judith Trojan has written and edited more than 1,000 film and television reviews and celebrity profiles for books, magazines and newsletters. Her interviews have run the gamut from best-selling authors Mary Higgins Clark, Ann Rule and Frank McCourt to cultural touchstones Ken Burns, Carroll O’Connor, Judy Collins and Caroll Spinney (aka Big Bird). Make sure to check out Judith’s FrontRowCenter blog at judithtrojan.com.

Down the Rabbit Hole

Where is video gaming taking our kids?

Remember the good old days, when homes actually had dens and family rooms? These physical spaces still exist, of course, but thanks to quantum leaps in computing power—and profound shifts in what constitutes social interaction— they have become more and more “virtual.” What we used to call dens we now refer to as home offices. That makes sense, at least. But what of the family room, that once-sacred place where Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit provided the glue for togetherness? In the blink of a generation, it has become the rabbit hole down which ’tweens, teens, twenty-somethings and—in startling numbers—grown-ups disappear for hours on end to play video games. The gaming phenomenon has become a subject of growing interest and concern among educators, employers, psychologists and parents. It has created obstacles and opportunities that didn’t exist a couple of decades ago, and has changed the very definition of what we think of as play.

A LITTLE HISTORY Gaming wasn’t much of an issue when it began in the 1970s. In fact, the word gaming itself did not yet exist. Pong and Space Invaders could be found in arcades and bars, fascinating the quarter-pushers, but the appeal proved limited. However, a new culture had been born. Indeed, 10 years later, Nintendo consoles were everywhere, and games like Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros., Zelda, and Metroid had parents enforcing strict bedtimes for their prepubescent offspring. The video game industry continued to grow, technologically and financially, as it entered the 21st century. With the doubling of computer power every few years, games had become more complex, more sophisticated and more addictive. And the money being spent on video games by the public was absolutely staggering. Grand Theft Auto IV was released in 2008 and sold six million units, grossing $500 million, in its first week of release. Game developers, now working with squads of brilliant artists, writers, and coders, had tapped into a demand that would have been unimaginable just a few years earlier. Games were modified to be playable not only on hot-selling consoles like Xbox and PlayStation, but on home computers, laptops, tablets and, inevitably, smartphones. With these remarkable advances came a backlash. The assaults came from many quarters—gaming was blamed for teen violence, plummeting verbal abilities, rampaging obesity, and plagues of ADHD, autism and pathological solipsism. College grads, who “should have been” out looking for jobs and spouses, were locking themselves in their darkened rooms with enormous supplies of tortilla chips and diet soda, playing everything from the latest John Madden NFL (total sales for the series estimated at $3 billion) to Guitar Hero, Tiger Woods Golf or Call of Duty.

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

WHO’S GETTING HURT? There is widespread agreement that some video games— specifically those emphasizing stealth, violence, misogyny and lawlessness—are unlikely to be positive forces. This is particularly true in the case of pre-teen and adolescent youth, as well as in adolescent males, who tend to lock into these ninja paradigms. Many games enable the player to experience adventure and danger without developing a realistic appreciation of the consequences. Experts are quick to point out real issues even with the seemingly innocuous games that allow kids to experience the mastery of a sport or activity without acquiring the patience and persistence to study and practice. For example, while a child can quickly gain some mastery over any of these games, by contrast an elementary grasp of karate or baseball requires years of constant practice and respect for authority. The boredom and physical discomfort of actually engaging in a sport pay dividends that sitting alone pushing buttons never will. But don’t try telling that to a child who is slugging the ball 500 feet over Yankee Stadium’s virtual fence. Some people go so far as to claim there is a one-to-one relationship between gaming and illegal/antisocial/self-destructive activities. That probably stretches the point a bit too far. If memory serves, teenage boys are not exactly hard-wired to be risk-averse. The better debate is whether certain kids are genetically programmed to be sociopaths. Every time another school shooting occurs, video games are high on the list of proximate causes—right after drug  abuse, parental abuse, and getting ditched by the prom queen. This leads to analyses that defy the basic rules of scientific research: clearly defined parameters, repeatable results, and objective evaluations. As yet, no one has produced a shred of evidence that video games turn troubled boys into monsters.

PARENTAL PERSPECTIVE That being said, a search through the archives of the American Psychological Association web site doesn’t leave a worried parent with many clear answers. For every pro there seems to be a con, and vice-versa. Video gaming may indeed encourage violent behavior in some (possibly predisposed) kids. Sexual stereotyping and objectification also broadens the gender gap. Then again, gaming helps develop better hand-to-eye coordination, faster reflexes and better processing skills. Games may even help to treat dyslexia. The more you read and research, the clearer it becomes that nothing resembling a unified approach to gaming as a potential threat to young people’s development has yet emerged. Nor should anyone expect it to. Concerned parents might be better served by developing some basic tools to encourage moderation in gaming. Because of the popularity of video games, completely eliminating them from a child’s life might be difficult. But according to the non-profit Palo Alto Medical Foundation, you can decrease the negative impact that they have by… • Knowing the rating of the video games your children play • Not installing video game equipment in your children’s bedroom • Setting limits on how often and how long your children are allowed to play video games • Monitoring all of your children’s media consumption, including television, movies and the Internet • Supervising your children’s Internet use (there are now many video games available for playing online) • Taking the time to discuss with your children the games they are playing or other media they are watching— how they feel about what they observe in these video games, television programs or movies • Sharing with fellow parents information about certain games or ideas for helping each other in parenting Is it an uphill battle? Of course it is. Parenting is an uphill battle. Are game designers targeting young people? Of course they are—but no more than manufacturers of clothing or fast food or beverages or cosmetics. Commercials for prescription drugs and law firms target adults. Welcome to capitalism. The better question might be: Are we doing enough to identify the kind of at-risk young men and women whose behavior is susceptible to the negative influences of some video games?

Photo credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

THOUGHTS FROM THE GAMING WORLD Every so often there is a groundswell of interest in regulating the content of video games. As any lawyer will tell you, that gets tricky because the industry will almost certainly put the First Amendment in play. Perhaps it’s not the industry picture that needs to be altered, but the parenting picture. Consider the viewpoint of one young game developer who recently cashed an eight-figure paycheck after selling his company to a major software corporation. His take is that video games have provided many parents with a cheap, popular, absorbing babysitter—one that keeps Junior at home rather than running in the mean streets. “If you don’t think your child should be playing,” he says, “maybe you should buy her a book, or teach him how to do woodworking, or get them aikido lessons. Maybe it’s not the kids who are being irresponsible, but you. There’s nothing inherently evil in gaming, any more than there is in ice cream—it’s not an unqualified evil like tobacco, crystal meth, binge drinking, or unsafe sex. It’s fun, it has positive qualities, it can even be educational. But you need to help your kids develop values and priorities and a sense of balance.” Tens of millions of children have access, by one means or another, to a wide range of video games. Some are despicable, yet others are clearly educational and developmentally sound. Some perspective is called for here. Remember that the overwhelming majority of these children will have their hearts broken, get zits, fail to make the varsity, and wallow in the certainty that their parents neither love nor understand them—all before they reach voting age. Amazingly, they will go on to lead reasonably productive and happy lives.